Coaching for Leaders

Ruth Gotian: The Success Factor

Ruth Gotian has been hailed by the journal Nature and Columbia University as an expert in mentorship and leadership development. In 2021, she was selected as one of 30 people worldwide to be named to the Thinkers50 Radar List, where she was described as a “Prolific mentor and educator, leading important research into the secrets of success.” She is a semi-finalist for the Forbes 50 Over 50 list and has coached and mentored hundreds of people throughout her career.

In addition to being published in academic journals, Ruth is a contributor to Forbes and Psychology Today, where she writes about optimizing success. She is the Chief Learning Officer in Anesthesiology and former Assistant Dean of Mentoring and Executive Director of the Mentoring Academy at Weill Cornell Medicine, where she is a faculty member. Ruth is the author of The Success Factor: Developing the Mindset and Skillset for Peak Business Performance*.

In this conversation, Ruth and I discuss how leaders can genuinely connect with (and retain) their top performers. We explore the difference these employees make in organizations and what’s unique about how they approach work and their careers. Ruth then suggests a number of practical steps to engage high performers genuinely to develop them well and benefit the entire organization.

Key Points

High achievers can produce up to 400 percent more than the average employee.

Promotions, diplomas, and awards may be starting points for high performers, but they are not ending points. Leading high performers well requires you to align with their intrinsic motivation.

Offer high performers opportunities for exposure with visibility to senior leadership, strengths assignments, and decision-making.

Provide autonomy to high performers. For them, the chase is as exciting as the win. They fear not trying more than failing.

Recognize that internal professional development programs may not be sufficient for the demands of high performers. Support external opportunities they identify and connect with them during and after those experiences to further their learning (and yours).

Bonus Audio

How to maximize the benefit of sending high achievers to conferences

Resources Mentioned

The Success Factor: Developing the Mindset and Skillset for Peak Business Performance* by Ruth Gotian

Interview Notes

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Related Episodes

Six Ways Teaching Adults is Different than Teaching Kids (episode 3)

What High Performers Aren’t Telling You, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 466)

How to Multiply Your Impact, with Liz Wiseman (episode 554)

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Amishi Jha: Peak Mind

Amishi Jha is Director of Contemplative Neuroscience and Professor of Psychology at the University of Miami. With grants from the Department of Defense and several private foundations, she leads research on the neural bases of attention and the effects of mindfulness-based training programs on cognition, emotion, resilience, and performance in education, corporate, elite sports, first-responder, and military contexts.

She launched the first-ever study to offer mindfulness training to active duty military service members as they prepared for deployment. Her work has been featured in many outlets including TED, NPR, and Mindful Magazine. In addition, she has been invited to present her work to NATO, the UK Parliament, the Pentagon, and at the World Economic Forum. She is the author of Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day*.

In this conversation, Amishi and I explore the importance of our attention and why harnessing it is essential for leaders. We dive into the neuroscience and how our brain is similar to a computer in how much we can hold at one time. Plus, Amishi provides us several practical starting points if we wish to do a better job of placing our attention in the most useful places.

Key Points

Attention is powerful, fragile, and trainable.

Our working memory is like the RAM inside a computer — there’s only so much we can hold at a time.

You experience what’s in your working memory, even if that doesn’t correlate to what’s right in front of you.

If your working memory is full, it blocks the ability to encode or whatever you are trying to learn.

A key tactic is to be aware of what’s in your working memory — and what you choose not to rewrite.

Mindfulness practice can provide the white space for the space in our working memory that we need.

Resources Mentioned

Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day* by Amishi Jha

Interview Notes

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Related Episodes

How to Know What You Don’t Know, with Art Markman (episode 437)

How to Be Present, with Dave Crenshaw (episode 511)

Help Your Brain Learn, with Lisa Feldman Barrett (episode 513)

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Tiziana Casciaro: Power, for All

Tiziana Casciaro is a professor of organizational behavior at the Rotman School of Management of the University of Toronto. Her research on interpersonal and organizational networks and power dynamics has received distinguished scientific achievement awards from the Academy of Management and has been covered in the New York Times, Washington Post, Financial Times, and many other outlets.

Tiziana advises organizations and professionals across industries and has been recognized by Thinkers50 as a management thinker most likely to shape the future of how organizations are managed and led. She is the author with Julie Battilana of Power, for All: How It Really Works and Why It's Everyone's Business*.

In this conversation, Tiziana and I explore the reality that many leaders face: the desire to discover what people want — but the challenge of actually determining this. Even when intentions are good, employees may not have the self-awareness to articulate what they what. We detail what the research shows us about what most people care about — and the practical steps we can all take in our organizations to surface this through familiarity and similarity.

Key Points

To be powerful in a relationship, it means having control over resources the other person values.

Even if asked, people don’t always tell you what they need — either because they don’t trust you or because they aren’t self-aware.

Much of the research literature concludes that almost all people have two basic needs: safety and self-esteem.

To discover what people want, you need to earn trust. Competence and warmth two ways this happens. When forced to choose between the two, most people prefer warmth.

To build warmth (and trust) use two key sources of interpersonal liking: familiarity and similarity.

The six resources that address our basic needs of safety and self-esteem:

Material resources

Morality

Achievement

Status

Autonomy

Affiliation

Resources Mentioned

Power, for All: How It Really Works and Why It's Everyone's Business* by Julie Battilana and Tiziana Casciaro

Power, for All website

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)

How to Use Power Responsibly, with Vanessa Bohns (episode 551)

How to Reduce Burnout, with Jennifer Moss (episode 561)

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Sönke Ahrens: How to Take Smart Notes

Sönke Ahrens is the creator of Take Smart Notes, a project dedicated to helping students, academics and nonfiction writers get more done - ideally with more fun and less effort. He has spent years researching and experimenting with different note-taking systems and his settled on a methodology called Zettlekasten.

Sönke is a writer, coach, and academic -- and also the author of the bestselling book, How to Take Smart Notes: One Simple Technique to Boost Writing, Learning and Thinking - for Students, Academics and Nonfiction Book Writers*.

In this conversation, Sönke and I discuss how to move past the practice of simply reading and highlighting by beginning to seek meaning. We explore how you might create a system for doing this and how external scaffolding can help. Plus, we explain what notes might look like and how you can use them for an ongoing conversation with yourself — and perhaps others.

Key Points

Move past details and look for meaning.

As we become familiar with something, we may start believing we understand it.

Real thinking requires external scaffolding.

It's not so much about saving information, but in making connections between the information.

Your notes need not be long or numerous, but should spark (and continue) future conversations with yourself.

Resources Mentioned

How to Take Smart Notes: One Simple Technique to Boost Writing, Learning and Thinking - for Students, Academics and Nonfiction Book Writers* by Sönke Ahrens

Take Smart Notes

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How To Create a Personal Knowledge Management System, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 129)

Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421)

How to Use Cognitive Psychology to Enhance Learning (Teaching in Higher Ed)

How to Enhance Your Credibility (audio course)

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Alisa Cohn: From Start-Up to Grown-Up

Alisa Cohn has been named the Top Startup Coach in the World by the Thinkers50 Marshall Goldsmith Global Coaches Awards and has been coaching startup founders to grow into world-class CEOs for nearly 20 years. She was named the number one “Global Guru” of startups in 2021, and has worked with startup companies such as Venmo, Etsy, DraftKings, The Wirecutter, Mack Weldon, and Tory Burch. She has also coached CEOs and C-Suite executives at enterprise clients such as Dell, Hitachi, Sony, IBM, Google, and many more.

Marshall Goldsmith selected Alisa as one of his Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches – a gathering of the top coaches in the world – and Inc. named Alisa one of the top 100 leadership speakers. Her articles have appeared in Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Inc. and she has been featured as an expert on Bloomberg TV, the BBC World News and in The New York Times. She is the author of From Start-Up to Grown-Up: Grow Your Leadership to Grow Your Business*.

In this conversation, Alisa and I discuss the difficult reality that most leaders need to face: saying goodbye to an employee. We detail the mindset you need in preparation for letting someone go. Alisa also helps us with specific language that will help you follow-though on a conversation and help everybody move on — and move forward.

Key Points

Our human tendency is often to side-step problems that we need to address.

By the time you take action to fire somebody, you are likely months late.

Just because someone was effective in the role previously (or in the last role) doesn’t mean their role is right for them today.

It’s helpful to be prescriptive in conversations leading up to firing on exactly your expectations — and the actions the other party has agreed to.

There’s no way to fire someone without it being awkward and painful. You’ll need to make peace with that before you take action.

Resources Mentioned

From Start-Up to Grown-Up: Grow Your Leadership to Grow Your Business* by Alisa Cohn

Interview Notes

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Related Episodes

How to Challenge Directly and Care Personally, with Kim Scott (episode 302)

How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)

How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464)

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Michael Bungay Stanier: How to Begin

Michael Bungay Stanier distills big, complex ideas into practical, accessible knowledge for everyday people so they can be a force for change. His books have sold over a million copies, and The Coaching Habit was a Wall Street Journal bestseller. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times.

Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that helps organizations transform from advice-driven to curiosity-led action. His new book is titled How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters*.

In this conversation, Michael and I discuss how to make progress when starting something new. We explore the value in looking back at what you’ve already done to support you on what’s next. Plus, Michael highlights the key principles in running effective experiments that transition into new practices.

Key Points

Fire bullets at the start. Then, fire cannonballs.

Discover what your history reveals about your future self. It will open up a window to who you are that will help you when moving on something new.

When experimenting, don’t make the experiment bigger or more complex than it needs to be.

Avoid putting too much risk in the experiment or investing too much in its success.

We have the most learning when we’re struggling with something.

Resources Mentioned

How to Begin by Michael Bungay Stanier

How to Begin overview

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284)

How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)

How to Nail a Job Transition, with Sukhinder Singh Cassidy (episode 555)

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Jennifer Moss: The Burnout Epidemic

Jennifer Moss is an award-winning journalist, author, and international public speaker. She is a nationally syndicated radio columnist, reporting on topics related to happiness and workplace well-being. She is also a freelance writer whose articles have appeared in HuffPost, Forbes, the Society for Human Resource Management, Fortune, and Harvard Business Review.

Jennifer’s prior book, Unlocking Happiness at Work, received the distinguished UK Business Book of the Year Award. She also sits on the Global Happiness Council. She is the author of The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It*.

In this conversation, Jennifer and I explore a few misconceptions about burnout — and also how curiosity and empathy can help to reduce it. We discuss a few key questions leaders can ask to gain insight on how to help. Plus, we detail how to avoid confirmation bias through generic interactions.

Key Points

Self-care doesn’t cure burnout.

Curiosity increases empathy — and empathy from leaders is a fabulous antidote to burnout.

There are two kinds of curiosity, epistemic and perceptual. True empathy comes from a focus on epistemic interactions.

Go beyond the generic, “How are you?” and instead get more specific with a request like, “Name a high — and a low.” Doing these with a team can help surface how to help.

Assume the best. It’s ok to say, “Thank you for sharing this with me. I don’t have any advice. I just want to listen and learn.”

Resources Mentioned

The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It* by Jennifer Moss

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)

What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)

Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi (episode 488)

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Andrew Warner: Stop Asking Questions

Andrew Warner is an entrepreneur and host of the Startup Stories podcast, where he uncovers the secrets of the world’s best founders. Over the course of 2,000+ episodes, Andrew has interviewed everyone from Barbara Corcoran, to Gary Vaynerchuk, to the founders of Airbnb.

After building two startups of his own—one successful and one that failed—Andrew started Mixergy as a way to learn from other entrepreneurs. Today, Mixergy is a place where successful people teach ambitious upstarts through interviews, courses, masterclasses, and events. He is the author of Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone*.

In this conversation, Andrew and I discuss what he’s learned about getting people to talk from thousands of hours of interviews and research. We explore some of the key tactics that he uses to help people open up in a genuine way. Plus, we discuss some common questions to avoid that may work against your goal to connect well with the other party.

Key Points

Help others get comfortable talking about themselves by revealing something about yourself first. They may not reciprocate immediately, but it often opens the door for future depth.

Just a word or two can open up an entire new level of a conversation. Try using “Because?” or “How so?” as ways to hear more.

People expect leaders to show up and have a direction for the conversation. Not everything needs to be phrased as a question — you may consider making requests like, “Tell me more,” to direct to conversation.

Avoid asking questions that try to get people to articulate “most” or “best” answers. People spend too much mental bandwidth trying to rank-order instead of just engaging with the dialogue.

When potentially uncomfortable situations come up, allow people an easy way out by giving them two paths they can go down.

Resources Mentioned

Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone* by Andrew Warner

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344)

How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)

Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500)

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Muriel Wilkins: Coaching Real Leaders

Muriel Wilkins is Managing Partner and Co-founder of Paravis Partners. She is a C-suite advisor and executive coach with a strong track record of helping already high performing senior leaders take their effectiveness to the next level. She is also the host of the Harvard Business Review podcast, Coaching Real Leaders and is the co-author, with Amy Su of Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence*.

Prior to entrepreneurship, she served on the senior team of U.S. News & World Report and also did marketing and strategy work at Accenture and The Prudential. Muriel has been recognized by the Washington Business Journal as one of Metro-DC area’s Top Minority Business Leaders.

In this conversation, Muriel and I reflect on our recent client work in order to surface some of the current struggles leaders are facing. We discuss a few trends we’re seeing in relation to diversity, the great resignation, binary thinking, and human relations. Plus, we make a few practical invitations to leaders in order to avoid some common missteps.

Key Points

Leaders are making the shift from explanation to inquiry in relations to diversity, equity, and inclusion. The next step for many leaders is to consider how they use their power to affect change to the system in the organization.

Many leaders are considering the, “Should I stay or should I go?” question without the full context of impact and feeling. Begin by considering the impact you wish to have before making a major change.

Beware the trap of binary thinking. Often leaders get fixated on “OR thinking” without considering the opportunity for “AND thinking.” If you catch yourself thinking in “ors” consider how you might bring in some “ands.”

Leaders who inherently see value in people development can tend to write off other leaders who they see as only focused on the numbers. It’s helpful to realize that the larger objective is often shared, but style is different. Meet people on their terms with their language.

Resources Mentioned

Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence* by Muriel Wilkins

Coaching Real Leaders podcast

Related Episodes

Enhance Your Executive Presence, with Muriel Wilkins (episode 272)

The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)

How to Win the Long Game When the Short-Term Seems Bleak, with Dorie Clark (episode 550)

How to Use Power Responsibly, with Vanessa Bohns (episode 551)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Listener Questions

Lucus asked us for advice on his reading habits as he makes the transition to CEO.

Elizabeth wondered the best way to address issues where experienced employees appear resentful about her giving them direction.

Beth sent us a question about drawing the line between being a friend and a manager.

Resources Mentioned

13 Crucial Books That Every Leader Should Know

Drive* by Daniel Pink

Readwise

Day One

Seven Principles for Leading People Older Than You, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 59)

How to Manage Former Peers, with Tom Henschel (episode 257)

Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)

Related Episodes

Three Steps to Soliciting Feedback, with Tom Henschel (episode 107)

How to Make Deep Work Happen, with Cal Newport (episode 233)

Tie Leadership Development to Business Results, with Mark Allen (episode 435)

How to Help People Thrive, with Jim Harter (episode 532)

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