Coaching for Leaders

By Dave StachowiakBusiness Careers Management

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Coaching for Leaders episodes

March 14, 2019 Calibrate With Stakeholders (4 of 5)
Applications are open through Friday, March 15th, to the Coaching for Leaders Academy. This is the fourth of five lessons on how to create meaningful movement on a leadership skill, using the same, 90-day framework used within our Academy community. Discover more and apply now.

In the last three days, you’ve heard about changing behavior by creating forward movement.

You’ve likely also heard me say a lot about personal leadership in the past. If you lead yourself first well, you get the privilege to lead others. That’s true also in our professional development. It needs to start with us.

By no means does it end there. Especially when it comes to leadership, it’s not enough for us to see movement ourselves. Other people also need to see movement happening.

You may have noticed that the first three lessons zeroed in on you. Creating your new identity. Deciding on the daily action you’ll take to get there. And then, you noticing the indicators that you’re on the right path.

All of that is important. You need that framework to start, but it’s not sufficient if you just stop there.

Of course, leadership isn’t just about you. It’s about how other people experience you. In fact, that’s a core truth as to how effective or ineffective you’re going to be in doing what leaders do…handling change.

As a result, it’s a necessity for us to get feedback and input from others who can either verify or challenge that we’re working on.

That means that as you take on a new identify, it’s important to get consistent, fast feedback from your stakeholders that you’re actually on track. And, if you’re not, the information you need to get yourself back on track.

For the 90-day commitment, this means that, as some kind of regular interval (perhaps once a week) you are seeking feedback from managers, peers, direct reports, customers, and perhaps even family members, that verifies you’re on the right track.

Getting input from others helps you align (or not) with your own indicators that you crafted in step 3.

Often, when I make the suggestion to people that they should get some kind regular feedback from colleagues or customers in this way, the first intention that people have is to ask others who they are doing.

So, in the case of my example identity from the earlier lessons, of communicating concisely in meetings, people often come back with something like this for step 4:
Once a week, I’ll ask a direct report how I’m doing at being more concise.
Don’t ask a question like that. Here’s why:

If you ask someone “How are I doing?” or the related question, “Do you have any feedback for me?” the stock answer to that question is to say “good,” or “I can’t think of anything.”

Especially if the person you are asking reports to you.

It’s highly unlikely you’re going to get real truth in response to that question. You put people in an awkward place asking. Even if that person is your manager, often they aren’t great at making value judgements on the fly.

Also, a lot of people aren’t good a giving feedback. Many times, I’ve had a client say something to me like, “My boss said I should get better at my presence in meetings, but didn’t give any kind of examples.”

For getting consistent, fast feedback in a way that’s meaningful to you, make it easy for people to answer your question. This, after all, is about fast feedback — not a long, drawn out conversation.

Make it really, really easy for people to answer the question, with little risk.

For the example I’ve been using of being more concise, I’m not doing to ask a stakeholder how I’m doing a being more concise. Instead, I might ask this:
I’m working on being more concise.
9 min
March 13, 2019 Keep Yourself Motivated (3 of 5)
Applications are open through Friday, March 15th, to the Coaching for Leaders Academy. This is the third of five lessons on how to create meaningful movement on a leadership skill, using the same, 90-day framework used within our Academy community. Discover more and apply now.

In the first two lessons of this course, I invited you to take on a new identity and then determine the daily action that will help you get there.

I’ve been using an example of working to be more concise. As a quick review, here’s the identity someone might take on in this example:
I communicate concisely in meetings.
As I mentioned in lesson 1, the identity is a clear statement of who you are becoming. Then, the next step, from the second lesson, is determining the daily behavior that will get you there. I picked this one for our example:
Once a day, I time myself speaking out loud a message I’m delivering later.
That daily action is the leading indicator — the thing that, if you do consistently, will get you to the outcome you want.

Here’s where we run into a sad reality:

Getting traction on a new behavior that’s supporting a new leadership skill would be a lot easier, if you didn’t have anything else going on. But that’s reality for virtually nobody.

What is reality is the six meetings that are on your calendar already today, the dozens of emails that probably have your attention at the moment, and your boss or customer suddenly changing direction on something.

And there’s all the personal things, too. Making sure that kids aren’t just fed and where they need to be logistically, but also thriving in their lives. For some of us, it’s handling the financial and health affairs for an aging relative. For all of us, it’s balancing doctors’ appointments, and taxes, and all the other things that go along in the daily whirlwind of our professional and personal lives.

On any given day at work and at home, 90-95% of our time is going is dedicated to these already existing activities. So, creating a bit of breakaway traction for learning something new, not only requires quick, daily actions (as we established in the second lesson) but also a way to keep yourself motivated — so this doesn’t get lost with everything else you’ve got going.

Here’s here you can set yourself up for success:

Most of us do a lot better keeping ourselves on track if we have success milestones along the way. It’s why so many of us get motivated by getting those certificates in professional programs, or seeing the rating we received on this year’s performance review, or getting the little rings and badges on FitBits or Apple Watches for health tracking.

We all know that those indicators aren’t fully representative of our efforts or of the value we bring, but they help us know that we’re on the right path. That invites us to be move brave — and helps us find a sense of confidence.

Do the same thing for yourself as your take on your new identity. Decide in advance what the indicators will be along the way, so that you can recognize the progress you’re making.

Let’s go back to example of communicating concisely in meetings. For this identity, I want to establish for myself, in advance, what the success indicators will be, so I’ll recognize my progress along the way.

Here’s a couple that I’m zeroing in on for this identity, as milestones:
I’m noticing details that can be left out.
For taking on an identify of getting more concise, that’s a key indicator. As you start seeing things that can be eliminated, you’ve started to make the shift of not just being more concise, but perhaps more importantly, thinking like a concise communicator thinks.

Here’s a second one:
My practice sessions are shorter.
8 min
March 12, 2019 Take Daily Action (2 of 5)
Applications are open through Friday, March 15th, to the Coaching for Leaders Academy. This is the second of five lessons on how to create meaningful movement on a leadership skill, using the same, 90-day framework used within our Academy community. Discover more and apply now.

Imagine for a moment that you wanted to get into better shape. Let’s say that you decided that the best way to do that is this: instead of trying to work it into your daily and weekly schedule, block a single Saturday a month to spend eight hours in the gym to just knock it out all at once.

Imagine you showed up to the gym, having not lifted a finger for the prior 30 days, and then spent eight straight hours working out.

Why not? Same number of hours, yes?

Of course, nobody would do this. Our bodies don’t work that way. The pain aside, it’s dangerous.

But even more of an obstacle, is the psychology…

How many of us, the physical limitations aside, would even want to work out for eight hours straight? The mere thought of that kind of commitment is enough to make most people not want to even get out of bed.

Learning a musical instrument? Same thing. Music teachers suggest we practice 10-15 minutes a day instead of 2-3 hours, once a week. It doesn’t work to do the latter. Your body and brain simply can’t condition fast enough to get the same benefits from one long sitting as they do from many short sittings (and yes, I’ve tried).

Learning to read. Learning to drive a car. Learning how to give a speech. Learning how to play baseball. Learning corporate finance.

You name it, virtually any skill that is hard for human beings to learn, requires many, small moments of action, versus one single event.

Except, for some reason according to a lot of organizations, leadership development. For leadership development, it’s perfectly fine for all of us to go to a 2-day seminar and be set for the year.

Of course, most of us know that’s really not enough. But, that’s what a lot of places do — or nothing at all.

Instead of just collecting knowledge a few times a year, I invite you to go a step further, and do what people do when learning virtually any other difficult skill:
Take one action, 5-10 minutes a day.
Berkeley professor and author of Great at Work, Morten Hansen appeared on the Coaching for Leaders podcast in 2018 and taught us how to create behavior change to achieve extraordinary performance. In his research of 5,000 managers and employees over five years, he discovered that those creating the most substantial and lasting behavior change would find 15 minutes a day to take action.

That’s why I’m inviting you to do as well. Let’s go back to the example in the first lesson. You’ll recall the identity that I am taking on is:
I communicate concisely in meetings.
That’s who I’m becoming — but it’s not the daily, tactical action to get there. Instead, the daily action is a step I can reasonably take, most days, to get me towards that goal.

As a result, I’m naming this as the daily action:
Once a day, I time myself speaking out loud a message I’m delivering later.
I mentioned Chris McChesney in the first lesson, co-author of The 4 Disciplines of Execution. This daily action is what he’d call a leading indicator. In and of itself, timing yourself once a day speaking out loud doesn’t get you to the result, but it is likely to start to towards results if you do it consistently.

That’s because, almost everyone becomes more concise when they start timing themselves. If you take that action, you’ll not only become more mindful about being concise, but over time, you’ll actually be more concise — even if you do little else.

Don’t worry about the results up front.
9 min
March 11, 2019 Determine Your New Identity (1 of 5)
Applications are open through Friday, March 15th, to the Coaching for Leaders Academy. This is the first of five lessons on how to create meaningful movement on a leadership skill, using the same, 90-day framework used within our Academy community. Discover more and apply now.

Most of what people call learning is actually knowledge gathering. Reading business books, going to conferences, attending courses, listening to podcasts — is all great stuff to do, but without any behavior change, it’s not real learning.

Real learning is a lot harder, and requires us to actually change our behavior. If you’ve ever gotten tough feedback from a boss, have a fear of public speaking, or if you’ve had a health scare that necessitated you substantially changing your diet or exercise, you know how hard making real behavior change can be.

The five steps you’ll hear in these lessons won’t make that behavior change easy, but they will give you a clear framework to create movement, almost immediately.

A good friend of mine saw my recent comment about people confusing learning and knowledge gathering and sent me an email over the weekend. She said:
On StrengthsFinder, Input is one of my top five talents. I gather knowledge, but no one could ever possibly integrate all of it. So, then it becomes a problem. What do I do with it? How do I manage it? How do I decide what to “move” on and what to delete?
I sent her a reply back saying that it’s not just people with Input as a top strength who struggle with this. In the digital age, we’re all bombarded with tons of input and data each day. So how do you actually start to get traction on creating movement?

The first step, is deciding one place to start over the next 90 days and zeroing in there.

Even though this is the first step to generate movement, it’s probably one the hardest part. That’s because a lot of our organizations, families, even social media — have convinced us that we can have it all, we can do everything, and we can do it well.

The smarter you are and more success you’ve had in your career up to this point, the harder it is to zero in on one leadership skill. Many of us got to where we are by holding a lot in our brains and sharing tons of useful knowledge.

But that’s why you see a lot of people hit a plateau in their careers once they’ve gone as far as they can with the technical skill set — and entirely not an accident as to why Marshall Goldsmith, probably the best known executive coach, wrote a book for leaders called What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.

Often when I invite high-achieving people to zero in on one place to get traction, I get a bit of pushback saying that such a strategy would ignore the other 9 things that are also important this quarter. I started there too. My assumption was, far better to make some progress on everything instead of making tons of progress only on one thing, right?

But now, after almost 20 years of being intimately involved in thousands of hours of training, facilitation, and coaching, the difference in the results observing people who’ve used these methods is night and day.

The people who try to focus in on getting movement on a bunch of different behaviors all at once, see very little traction. And the people who zero in on getting better at one behavior, often see progress that surprises them.

It’s not just my experience.

I mentioned Marshall Goldsmith above. When he enters into a coaching engagement with one of the top business executives in the world, they focus on just 1 or 2 behaviors over a period of months.

Chris McChesney, co-author of the popular book for leaders, The 4 Disciplines of Execution, encourages us to focus on just one, wildly important goal when trying to move numbers.

10 min
March 11, 2019 399: How to Be Present, with Dan O’Connor
Dan O’Connor: Life Unscripted
Dan O’Connor is a multi-faceted actor, improviser, writer, and director. He is the founder and Producing Artistic Director of the critically acclaimed Impro Theatre. Dan is the author, with Jeff Katzman, of Life Unscripted: Using Improv Principles to Get Unstuck, Boost Confidence, and Transform Your Life*.
Key Points
When we meet someone for the first time, there is a narrative that happens between us.
“If you’re interested, you’re interesting.”
Oftentimes, people in meetings aren’t engaged in the conversation and are only waiting for the other person to stop talking.
If you make the effort to really listen to your customers, you’ll be able to engage in customized sales because you’ll truly understand what their needs are.
Resources Mentioned
Life Unscripted: Using Improv Principles to Get Unstuck, Boost Confidence, and Transform Your Life* by Jeff Katzman and Dan O’Connor
Dan O’Connor
Impro Theatre
Book Notes
Download my highlights from Dan’s book in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Four Critical Stories Leaders Need For Influence, with David Hutchens (episode 148)
How to Increase Your Conversational Intelligence, with Judith Glaser (episode 271)
How to Close the Power Distance Gap, with Jordan Harbinger (episode 343)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
34 min
March 09, 2019 Be a Producer, with Community
Apply for membership in the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, March 15, 2019 at this link:

https://coachingforleaders.com/academy/
15 min
March 04, 2019 398: What You Gain By Sponsoring People, with Julia Taylor Kennedy
Julia Taylor Kennedy: Coqual
Julia is Executive Vice President and Director of Publications at the Coqual. She has co-authored Disabilities and Inclusion, Mission Critical: Unlocking the Value of Veterans in the Workforce, and The Power of the Purse: Engaging Women for Healthy Outcomes, on women and health. Coqual recently released a new report, titled, The Sponsor Dividend.
Key Points
A sponsor actively advocates for the career of their protege.
If you’re looking for a sponsor, be very clear on where you want to go in your career.
Sponsors want to be sure they can trust the protege to deliver on the opportunities the sponsor presents.
Sponsors do better when they have a protege who has complementary skills to their own.
Resources Mentioned
The Sponsor Dividend: Key Findings
Related Episodes
How to Help the Underdog Thrive, with Terry Lipovski (episode 275)
How to Make Inclusion Happen, with Deepa Purushothaman (episode 307)
How to Connect Personal Growth to Business Outcomes, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 373)
Why Men Are Heard and Women Are Liked, with Lois Frankel and Tom Henschel (episode 392)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
35 min
February 25, 2019 397: How to Make Your Work More Visible, with John Stepper
John Stepper: Working Out Loud
John developed Working Out Loud, a practice that helps people be more effective, access more opportunities, and feel happier at work. Over several years, a small movement has formed based on his self-published book*, TEDx talk, and a peer support method that’s spread to over 40 countries and companies like Bosch, Daimler, BMW, and Siemens.
Key Points
Behavior change is about small steps, peer support, celebration along the way, and continual feedback.
Changes start with only one tiny step. Do that until it gets easy, then take the next step.
Peer support is a major part of habit change. Peer support gives you structure, shared accountability, and emotional support.
Resources Mentioned
Start a Working Out Loud Circle
Martha Beck
Drive* by Daniel Pink
Everybody Matters* by Bob Chapman and Raj Sisodia
Book Notes
Download my highlights from Working Out Loud in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Be a Non-Conformist, with Adam Grant (episode 238)
The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, with Daniel Pink (episode 332)
Six Tactics to Achieve Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen (episode 337)
How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)
How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
40 min
February 18, 2019 396: Dumb Things Smart People Do With Money, with Jill Schlesinger
Jill Schlesinger: Jill on Money
Jill Schlesinger is the Emmy-nominated Business Analyst for CBS News, the host of the Jill on Money podcast and of the nationally syndicated radio show, Jill on Money, which won the 2018 Gracie Award for Best National Talk Show. She has been recognized as a Top 10 LinkedIn Influencer and a Top 10 LinkedIn Voice. She’s the author of The Dumb Things Smart People Do with Their Money: Thirteen Ways to Right Your Financial Wrongs*.
Key Points
Not all financial professionals are looking out for you. Make sure they are held to the fiduciary standard at all times.
Before seeing a financial professional, make sure you’ve already paid off consumer debt, you’ve built an emergency reserve fund, and you’re maximizing your retirement fund contributions.
Prioritize your own retirement savings before setting aside money for your children’s tuition.
Make sure the cost of a degree is worth the expected income.
Resources Mentioned
The Dumb Things Smart People Do with Their Money: Thirteen Ways to Right Your Financial Wrongs* by Jill Schlesinger
Mark Kantrowitz
Jill On Money
Book Notes
Download my highlights from The Dumb Things Smart People Do with Their Money in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Improve Your Financial Intelligence, with Joe Knight (episode 244)
How to Manage Your Money, with Jill Schlesinger (episode 322)
How to Approach Corporate Budgeting, with Jody Wodrich (episode 355)
Four Rules to Get Control of Your Money, with Jesse Mecham (episode 356)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
38 min
February 11, 2019 395: How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker
Priya Parker: The Art of Gathering
Priya Parker is a facilitator, strategic advisor, and founder of Thrive Labs, at which she helps activists, elected officials, corporate executives, educators, and philanthropists create transformative gatherings. She is the author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters*.
Key Points
What creates meaning in a gathering is conversation, not the functional details of the event.
We’re often not totally clear on the purpose of our gatherings.
We don’t need to gather more often, but we need to do a better job when we do gather.
Resources Mentioned
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters* by Priya Parker
The Modern Manager podcast
Book Notes
Download my highlights from The Art of Gathering in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254)
Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344)
How to Plan Meetings That Get Results, with Mamie Kanfer Stewart (episode 358)
The Path of Humble Leadership, with Edgar Schein (episode 363)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
39 min

About Coaching for Leaders

From the publisher's feed

Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points.…