Coaching for Leaders

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Patricia says she's struggling with working with and working for micromanagers

Bonni mentioned Drive by Daniel Pink*

Wally asks, “Have you addressed the topic of leaders who believe their executive team can be productive by competing with each other rather than working as a team?”

Bonni mentioned Susan Gerke's recent appearances on the show:

138: The Four Unique Types of Teams

139: How To Maximize Team Performance

Dave mentioned the Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

Mike says he’s struggling finding enough time in the day to be everything to everyone. He says he also knows that’s impossible.

“I do for the few what I wish I could do for everyone.” -Andy Stanley

Dave mentioned OmniFocus, his task management system of choice.

Bonni mentioned Michael Hyatt's ideal week strategy, which Bonni and Dave both use

What about networking?

Dave suggests setting up a basic LinkedIn profile as a starting point

Dave mentioned past show 101: How to Get the Most from LinkedIn with Donna Schilder

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership

Is someone you care about - or maybe even you - working for a jerk? My guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.

How to know if it’s just you

Test the waters, but be careful

How to address it

When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it

Frame the business concern, not you as the victim

Don’t take it personally

Don’t speak for others

You are not going to change your boss

It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss

Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior

If you can accept that, what do you want to do?

If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback

Avoid being attached to the outcome

Once the feedback is given, let it go

Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it

What to do when the boss is chaotic

Calm down with someone who is chaotic

Take tons of notes

Get clear agreements

When they change something, don’t take it personally

Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said

How to deal with the narcissist

Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed

“Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel

“With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel

Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss

When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone

Always approach situations with collaboration and support

What do you do with the screamer?

Don’t engage, wait it out

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Dan Schwabel: Promote Yourself

“Smart companies create a good internal culture, and then it becomes really easy for them to communicate to the outside world.” -Dan Schwabel

Practical Action or Advice

Bring reverse mentoring into your next mentorship conversation or program

Ensure that senior leaders are engaged with you next initiative before proceeding

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Aaron Kent: Dale Carnegie

Aaron was last on the show on episode #35: You Don’t Have to Be a Trainer to Know How to Hire One.

Find Industry Overlap

In the same world as you, but not in a competitive place with you

Each party brings insight and resources that wouldn't be available to the other

Focus on what you are best in the world at, and form alliances in other areas

Aaron mentioned the book Good to Great by Jim Collins*

Clear and Immediate Financial Value Overlap

Identify where a win-win outcome can be that benefits both parties

This doesn't necessarily mean a dollar for dollar match

Be sure it's measurable

Aaron mentioned How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie*

Dave mentioned How To Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie*

Dave mentioned The Quick and Easy Way To Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie*

Committing Resources to the Relationship and Sustaining it Over Time

It's easy for an alliance to lose importance when it's not with a paying customer

Think of an alliance partner like you would a paying client

Dedicate a person or resource directly to the alliance

Special Note

The Carnegie Coach podcast mentioned in this episode was started in 2014 and ran for almost 200 episodes until it ended in 2016. Business changes at Dale Carnegie and my own departure from the organization resulted in the show sunsetting after two years.

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Question from Leonardo

I´m one of your fans, I listen your podcast every day and I see better results on my day job managing an emergency room in Brazilian Hospital. I'm a cardiologist and today I work as a manger also. I was listening the episode 143, about feedback, while I was driving to my job and I was thinking how difficult to me is receive a negative feedback. I think that what struggle in this situation is emotion and controlling the emotion to respond or give some excuse for that negative perception. When I give any feedback to my employees I saw this same problem. How do I train myself to be better on that?

Episode #143: Accepting Feedback With Sheila Heen of Difficult Conversations

Episode #107: Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback with Tom Henschel

Lets Get Real Or Let's Not Play by Mahan Khalsa*

Question from Dow

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen*

The Dale Carnegie Course

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie*

Positive Coaching by Jim Thompson*

Question from Nathan

I am not currently in a "leadership" position but I feel that I am being called to leadership and feel that leadership and coaching is something that I would enjoy long term. I wanted to ask what recommendations you would have to really start moving in this direction and to start developing those skills. I've been trying to read books and listen to podcast to get some insight but haven't really had the opportunity to hone these skills. I am looking at going to toastmasters to get some experience/training in public speaking to get started working on something I don't feel I'm strong in. Do you have any recommendations of things like Toastmasters that I can check out or any suggestions on steps I could take to improve my leadership and coaching skills?

Toastmasters

Junior Chamber International (Jaycees)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Michael “Coop” Cooper: Innovators + Influencers

Do you feel like you are playing whack-a-mole, constantly putting out fires in your organization? Are others and you clear on the real reason for most problems? In this conversation, I welcome Michael “Coop” Cooper from Innovators + Influencers to share a 5-step strategy that will help you define problems so it’s clear what to do next.

1. Describe the situation

There’s a lot of information in the situation that people don’t talk about.

This does not have to take as long as most people think it does.

2. Draft a problem statement

The problem we’re trying to solve is…

Find the simplest statement possible.

3. Ask “Why is that a problem?” (REPEAT)

Be aware of the thud factor and the pause.

4. Is this the real problem?

Involve someone else

5. Is this problem worth solving?

Will it save you time or money?

Will it make your company/department more competitive/productive?

Will this solution make your work or life easier in the long-run?

Does this solution or solving this problem actually align with your company goals?

“If I were given an hour to save the world, I’d spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute solving it.” -Albert Einstein

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

David Sparks: Presentations

David last appeared on episode #119 to help us get control of our email.

Memorize the opening and the closing of your presentation

Nail the beginning.

Close strong.

Utilize an effective remote

A green laser shows better than a red one

Keep the button options simple

Dark the screen when you’re not referring to a slide

Find one with an on/off switch

David recommends the Kensington K72427AM Wireless Presenter*

Tools to consider

You need to learn to be self-sufficient

Adapters

Extension cord

Duct tape

Speakers for audio

David’s final advice

Think about your presentation as a story

Your slides are not your script

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Chip Espinoza: Millennials at Work

Who are the millennials?

They were born between 1980-2002 range.

These are many of our newer employees in organizations.

“The millennials are the first generation that has not needed an authority figure to access information.” -Chip Espinoza

There is a dynamic in the workforce of a generation that doesn’t know how to reach up working with a generation that doesn’t know how to reach down.

The people with the most responsibility need to adapt first in an organization. -Chip Espinoza

Ambiguity is the millennial kryptonite. -Chip Espinoza

This generation is used to experiencing success and might not have run into failure much before.

They also assume that everything is negotiable.

Avoid getting caught up in defensiveness of a millennial who might be receiving positive feedback.

Millennials are relationship oriented.

Give feedback in a way that’s not formal.

Maintain the strength of the relationship.

Feedback must be timely.

Have a conversation with them instead of a conversation about them.

Build a relationship with people!

Practical Action

Have a conversation and build a relationship.

How to Start Coaching Someone (episode 2) provides a 4-step model for doing this

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Do you find yourself struggling with changing your behavior? Real learning is hard, but keeps you from making the same mistake again.

I wrote this article a few months ago: Sorry, I Don't Love Learning

Have you seen this scene in the Matrix?

I mentioned the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell*

Practical Advice

1. Ensure that it’s something important for you to learn

I mentioned the book Soar With Your Strengths by Donald Clifton and Paula Nelson*

2. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

“When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.” -Zig Ziglar

3. Recognize that what you’ve been able to change your behavior on is really challenging for others

“Every single time I get on a plane I’m really glad that the plane is not being flown by someone who just always loved planes.” -A teacher quoted in Building A Better Teacher by Elizabeth Green*.

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Question from Gabriel

I recommended episode #144: How We Do Things Around Here To Get Results

Question from Torrey I would like to know if you have a group on book reads or know of any groups I can join to get advice about good reading for leadership? For example which of Peter Drucker's books should I read?

Subscribe to Coaching for Leaders weekly update for a reader's guide to the 10 Leadership Books That Will Help You Get Better Results From Others

Check out Dave's personal reading library on GoodReeds

Dave recommended Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute*

Dave and Bonni recommended The Essential Drucker by Peter Drucker*

Bonni recommended The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz*

Bonni recommended The Empowered Manager by Peter Block*

Bonni recommended Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher*

Bonni recommended The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge*

Question from Busakorn

I was wondering if you could advise a great book for selling skills?

Bonni recommended Let’s Get Real or Let’s Not Play by Mahan Khalsa and Randy Illig

Bonni recommended SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham*

Question from Torrey

I would like the partners to be motivated enough to complete their reporting and liquidations with a concern for quality and timing, and not have to constantly ask and remind them. I want them to WANT to complete their reporting and do a good job, but right now they do not seem too concerned about it. How can we motivate them to improve their performance?

What's the “why” behind the “what?”

On The Folly Of Rewarding A While Hoping For B by Steven Kerr

Question from Anonymous

I had decided a few weeks ago that my time with my company has expired and it was the moment to move on. I have a second interview coming and while the change scares me, I think it's needed. My health and marriage are affected so change should be good. My reason for leaving is because of people and I cannot figure out a way to deliver the message without sounding whiny. I don't want to burn any bridges at all but I also need to be firm and not allow my boss to convince me to stay. Do you have suggestions?

- Bonni recommended Michael Hyatt's podcast on 7 Actions To Take Before You Quit Your Job

Question from Armando

Be intentional about what goes in and surround yourself with people who bring life to you

Give yourself grace!

Dave recommended episode #85: Ten Ways to Pick Yourself Up When You’re Beaten Down

Dave's past article One Interaction That Enhances Performance In The Best Employees might be a helpful idea as well

“If you act enthusiastic you’ll be enthusiastic.” -Dale Carnegie

Question from Paola

As a very structured person I am quite good organized when it comes to clear and specific tasks. But to be honest I feel kind of lost when I have to do projects or strategic work with no clear way, structure or tasks. Can you provide some ideas on that?

Dave recommended Basecamp for project management

- Dave uses and recommends MindNode (Mac*) (iPhone and iPad*) for mind mapping

- Bonni’s question to stakeholders: “When this is done, what will success look like?”

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.