Coaching for Leaders

Matthew Butterick: Practical Typography

Written communication may say as much about you as what you wear. Typography is more than just font.

Matthew's rankings of common system fonts

Book resource:

Garner’s Modern American Usage* by Bryan Garner

Mark Twain received the following telegram from a publisher:

NEED 2-PAGE SHORT STORY TWO DAYS.

And famously replied…

NO CAN DO 2 PAGES TWO DAYS. CAN DO 30 PAGES 2 DAYS. NEED 30 DAYS TO DO 2 PAGES.

Use one space after a sentence.

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Kent Rhodes: The Family Business Consulting Group

Culture is how we do things around here. The three Levels of Culture from Edgar Schein

Artifacts

Espoused values

Underlying assumptions

Culture is difficult to identify when you are inside of it. Organizations confuse climate and culture:

Climate comes from the outside and tends to be more temporary

Culture is what is happening internally and more difficult to change

Resources

Books

Organizational Culture and Leadership* by Edgar Schein

Diagnosing and Changing Organizational Culture* by Kim Cameron and Robert Quinn

Articles

The Trader Joe's Experience by Mark Mallinger and Gerry Rossy

Recognizing Organizational Culture in Managing Change by Mark Mallinger, Don Goodwin, and Tetsuya O'Hara

The Competitive Advantage of Culture in a Family Business by Kelly LeCouvie and Kent Rhodes

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Kent Rhodes: The Family Business Consulting Group

Culture is how we do things around here. The three Levels of Culture from Edgar Schein

Artifacts

Espoused values

Underlying assumptions

Culture is difficult to identify when you are inside of it. Organizations confuse climate and culture:

Climate comes from the outside and tends to be more temporary

Culture is what is happening internally and more difficult to change

Resources

Books

Organizational Culture and Leadership* by Edgar Schein

Diagnosing and Changing Organizational Culture* by Kim Cameron and Robert Quinn

Articles

The Trader Joe's Experience by Mark Mallinger and Gerry Rossy

Recognizing Organizational Culture in Managing Change by Mark Mallinger, Don Goodwin, and Tetsuya O'Hara

The Competitive Advantage of Culture in a Family Business by Kelly LeCouvie and Kent Rhodes

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Sheila Heen: Thanks for the Feedback

Author with Douglas Stone of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well*

Author with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the New York Times Business Bestseller Difficult Conversations*

Feedback sits at the core of two human needs:

Our need to get better

Our need to be accepted, respected, and loved for how we are now

“Who’s giving the feedback is often a louder message than what they’re saying.” -Sheila Heen

The six steps:

1. Know your tendencies

Baseline (or set point): a level of satisfaction that you gravitate towards in the absence of life events

Swing: how far positive or negative feedback knocks you off your baseline

Recovery: how long it takes you to come back to your baseline

Recovery speed can be different for positive and negative feedback

Understanding your profile can help you dismantle your distortions

Also, this helps you to be more empathetic to others who have different styles than you do

2. Disentangle the “what” from the “who”

If the feedback is wise, it shouldn’t matter who delivers it (but it does).

Solicit feedback from the people who you find difficult to work with

3. Sort towards coaching

Three kinds of feedback

Appreciation: sometimes when people ask for more feedback, they really want more of this

Coaching: helping you get better at something

Evaluation: where you rank or stand

Sheila uses this with her children to speak about their grades and what it says about what they can change

Separating these three things is helpful, since evaluation is very loud and people don’t often hear anything else

4. Unpack the feedback

Most of what we hear comes in vague labels.

It requires you as a receiver to be a more active participant.

5. Ask for just one thing

“What’s one thing you see me doing (or failing to do) that holds me back?”

6. Engage in small experiments

“I don’t believe that receiving feedback well means that you have to take the feedback.” -Sheila Heen

It’s hard to know if feedback is helpful until we try it out.

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You may have received training on giving feedback, but do you maximize how you receive it? On this show, discover how to get way better at accepting feedback.

Guest: Sheila Heen

Author with Douglas Stone of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well*

Author with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the New York Times Business Bestseller Difficult Conversations*

Feedback sits at the core of two human needs:

Our need to get better

Our need to be accepted, respected, and loved for how we are now

“Who’s giving the feedback is often a louder message than what they’re saying.” -Sheila Heen

The six steps:

1. Know your tendencies

Baseline (or set point): a level of satisfaction that you gravitate towards in the absence of life events

Swing: how far positive or negative feedback knocks you off your baseline

Recovery: how long it takes you to come back to your baseline

Recovery speed can be different for positive and negative feedback

Understanding your profile can help you dismantle your distortions

Also, this helps you to be more empathetic to others who have different styles than you do

2. Disentangle the “what” from the “who”

If the feedback is wise, it shouldn’t matter who delivers it (but it does).

Solicit feedback from the people who you find difficult to work with

3. Sort towards coaching

Three kinds of feedback

Appreciation: sometimes when people ask for more feedback, they really want more of this

Coaching: helping you get better at something

Evaluation: where you rank or stand

Sheila uses this with her children to speak about their grades and what it says about what they can change

Separating these three things is helpful, since evaluation is very loud and people don’t often hear anything else

4. Unpack the feedback

Most of what we hear comes in vague labels.

It requires you as a receiver to be a more active participant.

5. Ask for just one thing

“What’s one thing you see me doing (or failing to do) that holds me back?”

6. Engage in small experiments

“I don’t believe that receiving feedback well means that you have to take the feedback.” -Sheila Heen

It’s hard to know if feedback is helpful until we try it out.

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Andrew Stenhouse: Vanguard University

Dean, School for Graduate and Professional Studies

Vanguard University of Southern California

Loss is pervasive and we don’t often recognize how much we’re dealing with loss at the time.

Three broad categories of emotions tend to show up for people during a time of workplace loss:

Fear

We don’t know the loss will affect us personally

We don’t know how we are going to react to the loss

These fears can surprise us and cause even more anxiety

Anger

We can be angry at the person who we lost

We need to be able to express our anger in some way

Anger sometimes feels good because it provides some illusion of control

Sadness

Anger tends to yield to sadness

Guilt is the feeling that we could or should have done something

We can sometimes feel guilt that we are not in as much pain as we think we should be

What leaders can do after a loss:

Don’t put parameters on how people are supposed to deal with loss

However, provide stability and structure for people

Create and lead forums for conversation

The performance aspects of the job can help stabilize and reduce stress

Leaders should facilitate the conversation about the loss, rather than just allowing it (or hoping for it) to happen on its own

Bring in someone else to help when you see physical signs of loss

“You’re always on one side or the other of a loss. You’re either approaching one or getting over one.” -Andrew Stenhouse

What’s one thing you could do now to ready your organization for loss?

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We’ve talked a lot on this show about what to do in challenging situations. Today, what to do when the worst happens.

Guest: Andrew Stenhouse, Ed.D.

Dean, School for Graduate and Professional Studies

Vanguard University of Southern California

Loss is pervasive and we don’t often recognize how much we’re dealing with loss at the time.

Three broad categories of emotions tend to show up for people during a time of workplace loss:

Fear

We don’t know the loss will affect us personally

We don’t know how we are going to react to the loss

These fears can surprise us and cause even more anxiety

Anger

We can be angry at the person who we lost

We need to be able to express our anger in some way

Anger sometimes feels good because it provides some illusion of control

Sadness

Anger tends to yield to sadness

Guilt is the feeling that we could or should have done something

We can sometimes feel guilt that we are not in as much pain as we think we should be

What leaders can do after a loss:

Don’t put parameters on how people are supposed to deal with loss

However, provide stability and structure for people

Create and lead forums for conversation

The performance aspects of the job can help stabilize and reduce stress

Leaders should facilitate the conversation about the loss, rather than just allowing it (or hoping for it) to happen on its own

Bring in someone else to help when you see physical signs of loss

“You’re always on one side or the other of a loss. You’re either approaching one or getting over one.” -Andrew Stenhouse

What’s one thing you could do now to ready your organization for loss?

Feedback

On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/142

Comments, questions, or feedback: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Mishal in Saudia Arabia: How do you increase self-confidence as a new leader?

Phil in the UK: What advice would you give to someone who hasn’t had the opportunity to lead people in an organization?

Dave reference Coaching for Leaders episode #94: What To Do When Managing Without Authority

Another article that might be helpful is 8 Ways To Influence Without Authority

John: How can I build time into my day for the long-term goals?

Jenn: How do you cope with a difficult coworker when your boss doesn’t want to acknowledge the problem?

Dave referenced Coaching for Leaders episode #64: Eight Ways To Get Results By Managing Up

Just for fun, we mentioned our Sonos PLAY:3 station* in this response

Lisa shared a comment.

 Lisa referenced Coaching for Leaders episode #117: The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work

Dave mentioned his video: How To Get Podcasts on Your iPhone for Free

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni and I respond to community questions this week on increasing your leadership confidence and a number of other topics.

Guest: Bonni Stachowiak, Ed.D.

Mishal in Saudia Arabia: How do you increase self-confidence as a new leader?

Phil in the UK: What advice would you give to someone who hasn’t had the opportunity to lead people in an organization?

Dave reference Coaching for Leaders episode #94: What To Do When Managing Without Authority

Another article that might be helpful is 8 Ways To Influence Without Authority

John: How can I build time into my day for the long-term goals?

Jenn: How do you cope with a difficult coworker when your boss doesn’t want to acknowledge the problem?

Dave referenced Coaching for Leaders episode #64: Eight Ways To Get Results By Managing Up

Just for fun, we mentioned our Sonos PLAY:3 station* in this response

Lisa shared a comment.

 Lisa referenced Coaching for Leaders episode #117: The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work

Dave mentioned his video: How To Get Podcasts on Your iPhone for Free

What’s a question you have for the next Q&A show?

Feedback

On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/141

Comments, questions, or feedback: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

(949) 38-LEARN

Thank you to Lori Meeks, Agata Miezaniec, Steve Lacoursiere, Nkosikhona Nkosi, Lesley-Ann Blackburn, Valery Nguyen, Anna Thayer, Mike Cappelli, Catherine Canter, Perry Adams, Deepa Tharmaraj, Cherry Poussa, Ashley Mack, Kent Whistler, Debbie Rahn, Travis Buckner, Hermino Perez, Antonio Pizarro, Bruno Ohana, Marika Fredriksson, Kathey Howell, and Gustavo Serrano for subscribing to my weekly update this past week at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe

Eric Ruckle

It’s not about me, but about the project.

Book recommendation: The Startup of You by Reid Hoffman*

Book recommendation: So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport*

What’s one attitude change you can make that will help you work with multiple bosses?

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.