In this powerful episode of B!tch is a Bad Word, host Lindsay sits down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola—researcher, advocate, and expert in coercive control—to expose the form of domestic abuse that leaves no bruises but devastates lives. Together, they unpack how coercive control erodes autonomy, uses children as weapons, and creates “death by a thousand paper cuts” for survivors.

Dr. Cocchiola shares insights from decades of research and lived experience, explaining why survivors often blame themselves, how abusers manipulate family court and parenting, and what protective parents can do to help their children heal. From understanding trauma bonds to recognizing reactive abuse, this conversation offers validation, clarity, and practical tools for anyone trapped in the cycle of psychological control.

About Dr. Christine Cocchiola:

Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years and a social justice advocate for a local domestic violence agency, since the age of 19. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of adult and child victims, diligently supporting these vulnerable populations. Dr. C., a Founding Member of the International Coercive Control Conference and a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported codifying coercive control, writing numerous policy briefs supporting these efforts.

Guest Information:

Website - https://coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

Instagram - @dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol

Twitter - @coercivecontrol

If you’ve ever questioned whether words, manipulation, and control “count” as abuse, this episode is your answer. You’re not crazy—and you’re not alone.

If you or someone you know needs immediate help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

This episode is for anyone who has asked:

- signs of a controlling relationship

- how to know if my relationship is abusive

- emotional abuse in relationships

- when love feels like control

- why does my partner put me down

- gaslighting and manipulation in relationships

- trauma bonding explained

- am I the problem in my relationship

- co-parenting with a toxic ex

- raising kids with an abusive partner

- why leaving an abuser is so hard

- what is coercive control in relationships (paired with plain terms)

- feeling broken but no bruises

- how to heal from an abusive relationship

- my partner calls me names — is it abuse?

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