In this raw and honest 200th episode milestone, host Shelby John opens up about how perfectionism nearly prevented her from celebrating this incredible achievement. Through vulnerable sharing, she explores how the pressure to create the "perfect" celebration led to temporary paralysis - a common challenge many face in recovery and life transitions.

Key Takeaways

• How perfectionism can paradoxically prevent us from taking action
• Why non-traditional celebrations can be more authentic and meaningful
• The power of vulnerability in leadership and recovery
• Navigating life transitions: empty nesting, perimenopause, and evolving relationships
• The importance of community in long-term recovery success

Episode Highlights

[00:00] - Shelby reveals why there was a brief podcast hiatus [02:15] - The paralysis of perfectionism: when expectations prevent progress [04:30] - Reframing celebrations: why traditional timelines don't matter [07:45] - Reflection on recent mini-episodes and community feedback [10:30] - Vision casting for 2025: personal and professional transitions [13:45] - Introduction to remote neurofeedback opportunities [15:30] - Call for guest suggestions and community involvement

Featured in This Episode

• Discussion of end-of-year mini-episodes
• Preview of upcoming guest interviews
• Introduction to remote neurofeedback program
• Vision boarding and future self-work
• Community celebration plans for Episode 200

Resources Mentioned

• Email: w[email protected]
• Website: www.shelbyjohn.com
• Remote Neurofeedback Program consultation booking
• Previous mini-episodes (end of 2024)

Connect With Shelby

• Website: www.shelbyjohn.com
• Email: w[email protected]
• Social Media: @ShelbyJohnCoaching

Episode Tags

#SoberPodcast #Recovery #Perfectionism #MilestoneCelebration #EmotionalSobriety #WomenInRecovery #SoberLife #PersonalGrowth #Authenticity #ConfidentSoberWomen

About the Show

The Confident Sober Women podcast helps women thrive in long-term recovery by building lives they don't want to escape from. Host Shelby John combines her expertise as a therapist, recovery coach, and woman with 22 years of sobriety to provide practical strategies and authentic insights for sustainable r

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this empowering episode, host Shelby John breaks down how to transform your vision board into tangible results. Perfect for sober women ready to make 2025 their breakthrough year!

Key Highlights:

• Morning Vision Practice: Spend 3 minutes connecting with your vision board and choosing one focus area
• Future Self Navigation: Make decisions by asking "What would my future self do?"
• Weekly Vision Reviews: 15-minute Sunday check-ins for gentle course correction
• Vision Anchors: Creating physical reminders in your environment
• Daily Celebration Practice: Acknowledging small wins for lasting motivation

This episode builds on December's vision board workshop with Jeanette (previous episode). Learn practical steps to implement your vision, regardless of where you are in your recovery journey.

Resources Mentioned:

• Vision Board Workshop Episode with Jeanette (December 2024)
• Vision Planner Download (link in episode)

Connect with Shelby:

• Instagram: @shelbyjjohn
• Facebook Group: Confident Sober Women

Remember: Progress over perfection. You can't fail unless you quit, and you can always hit the reset button to realign with your vision.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this insightful episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, host Shelby welcomes recovery coach Jeanette Hounjet to discuss creating meaningful visions for the new year instead of traditional resolutions. Jeanette, founder of Now She's Living, shares her personal recovery journey and expert guidance on vision boarding and intentional goal-setting for women in recovery.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Jeanette's unique recovery path, from her first AA meeting at 21 to discovering personalized recovery approaches through She Recovers
• Why traditional New Year's resolutions may not serve us and alternative approaches to goal-setting
• The importance of examining inherited beliefs and conditioning when creating personal visions
• How addiction can stunt emotional development and value formation
• Practical steps for creating and implementing an effective vision board
• Strategies for remaining open to receiving what you envision
• The role of beliefs, thoughts, and feelings in manifestation
• Why keeping your vision private initially can protect your energy and dreams

Notable Quotes: "There is not just one road to recovery." - Jeanette Hanjae "Let your thoughts be your cheerleader, not this downer voice that is keeping you stuck." - Jeanette Hanjae

Practical Tips:

• Start with curiosity when creating your vision board
• Choose visual representations of 5 key desires for the year
• Practice gratitude as if your desires are already manifesting
• Use "just for today" mindset when working toward goals
• Begin with small, consistent actions rather than overwhelming changes

Resources Mentioned:

• Now She's Living website (nowshesliving.com)
• Free 2025 Vision Planner download
• She Recovers community

Connect with Jeanette Hanjae: Website: nowshesliving.com 
Instagram: @nowshesliving Pinterest: @nowshesliving

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, host Shelby welcomes Julie, to discuss navigating boundaries and saying "no" during the holiday season. 

Julie shares her journey from a social drinker to finding herself in isolated drinking patterns after having children and moving to the suburbs, ultimately leading to her decision to quit alcohol.

The conversation delves into the evolution from early sobriety to emotional sobriety, highlighting how recovery transforms relationships and personal growth. Julie and Shelby discuss the importance of developing a strong "A-Team" of supportive relationships and how priorities shift with age and sobriety, emphasizing quality connections over quantity.

Key takeaways include:

• The challenge of saying "no" stems from fear of disappointing others
• Practical strategies for setting boundaries, including the DEAR MAN technique (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Negotiate)
• How to start small with boundary-setting and build confidence
• Ways to compromise while maintaining personal limits
• The importance of allowing others to have their feelings about your boundaries
• Tips for holiday-specific situations like family gatherings and work parties

The hosts emphasize that boundary-setting is a skill that requires practice, starting with small decisions like dinner choices before tackling bigger challenges like holiday commitments. They share practical examples of how to communicate boundaries effectively, including using "yes, and" statements instead of "but" to create win-win situations.

Julie explains how validating others' feelings while maintaining personal boundaries can lead to better outcomes, and both hosts discuss the value of taking time to reflect before responding to requests. They share personal examples from parenting and professional situations, demonstrating how these principles apply across different life areas.

Connect with Julie through Instagram, Facebook, or her website Julie Derashynski Coaching, or email her at [email protected].

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

The holiday season can be a psychological minefield for women in recovery, filled with emotional triggers that can challenge even the most resilient individuals. In this powerful episode, host Shelby John provides practical strategies to help you move through the holidays with grace, self-compassion, and emotional stability.

Why Holidays Are Emotionally Challenging

• Neurological triggers that activate past memories
• Sensory experiences that transport you back to unprocessed emotions
• Societal pressure of performative happiness
• Amplified grief and loss
• Complex family dynamics
• Recovery-specific challenges

3 Powerful Tools for Emotional Processing

1. Emotional Check-In Practice

• Create a consistent daily routine
• Establish a sacred space for reflection
• Practice non-judgmental observation of your emotions
• Identify the root of your feelings
• Develop self-understanding and compassion

2. Expanding Your Boundary Toolkit

• Master verbal boundaries using "I" statements
• Implement physical boundaries (time limits, exit strategies)
• Create scripts for managing sensitive conversations
• Protect your emotional energy
• Prepare responses in advance

3. Grounding Techniques

• Use physical methods like weighted blankets
• Practice progressive body relaxation
• Engage all five senses to stay present
• Implement breathing techniques
• Develop personal meditation strategies

Bonus Resources

🌟 Free Resource: Discover how remote neurofeedback can support your healing journey. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation and learn about this evidence-based treatment for anxiety, depression, and more.

Key Takeaways

• Your emotional responses are valid
• Healing is a journey, not a destination
• You have the power to navigate challenging moments
• Self-compassion is your greatest ally

Remember: The holidays don't have to be something you merely survive—they can be an opportunity for gentle, loving navigation of your emotions.

Website: Shelbyjohn.com

If you loved this episode, please leave a rating and review, and share with a friend who might need these tools.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this powerful and vulnerable episode of the Confident Sober Women Podcast, host Shelby and guest Christy dive deep into the complex emotional landscape of grief, loss, and loneliness—especially during the holiday season. Drawing from personal experiences of recovery, grief, and healing, they offer compassionate strategies for managing difficult emotions and creating meaningful experiences.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding Grief: Grief isn't linear and doesn't have an expiration date. It's normal and healthy to experience emotions at your own pace.
• Creative Healing: Creativity can be a powerful tool for processing emotions, from painting and journaling to cooking and gardening.
• Building Support: Creating a supportive "A-team" of understanding individuals who can sit with you in your emotions is crucial.
• Redefining Expectations: You have the power to define what holidays and personal experiences mean to you.

Healing Strategies Discussed

1. Emotional Acknowledgment

• Normalize your feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief
• Avoid rushing to "fix" or suppress emotions
• Recognize that not everyone will understand your emotional process

2. Creative Expression

• Use creativity as a healing mechanism
• Experiment with various forms of creative expression: 

3. Physical Movement

• Engage in movement to process and release emotions
• Simple activities like walking, sitting outside, or feeling sunshine can be healing
• Use physical activities to connect with your body and senses

4. Ritual Creation

• Develop personal rituals to honor loss and memories
• Examples include: 
  • Lighting candles
  • Creating memory journals
  • Establishing new family traditions
  • Participating in memorial events

Connect with the Host
Website: purpledogsober.com  Instagram: @purpledogsober 

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Financial stress isn't just about dollars and cents—it's a critical component of recovery that can make or break your sobriety journey. In this powerful episode, I break down the deep connection between money and emotional healing.

Why Financial Wellness Matters in Sobriety:

• Money represents more than just currency
• Can be a profound source of anxiety
• Potential trigger for old coping mechanisms
• Reflection of self-worth
• Critical to sustainable recovery

5 Game-Changing Strategies:

1. Honest Financial Inventory Take a compassionate, judgment-free look at your current financial situation. List income sources, document expenses, review spending patterns, and identify emotional spending triggers.
   
   
2. Realistic Holiday Budgeting

• Set total spending limits
• Allocate funds for gifts, events, self-care
• Use cash envelopes
• Create separate holiday savings account
• Track spending with budgeting apps

1. Reimagine Gift-Giving

• Set clear spending limits
• Consider group exchanges
• Create meaningful, low-cost gifts
• Offer experiences over material items
• Make charitable donations

1. Emotional vs. Financial Currency Reframe your money mindset:

• "I need to buy something to be loved" → "I am worthy of love exactly as I am"
• Focus on connection, not price tags
• Invest in quality time and genuine experiences

1. Build Financial Resilience

• Develop emergency fund
• Create debt reduction plan
• Repair credit
• Seek financial counseling

Bonus: Spiritual Money Management

• Practice daily gratitude
• Recognize abundance
• Release scarcity mindset
• Be kind to yourself

Pro Tip: Your worth is NOT determined by your bank account. Recovery is a journey of continuous growth.

Want to supercharge your healing? Explore remote neurofeedback therapy for trauma recovery. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation at www.shelbyjohn.com.

Ready to transform your relationship with money and sobriety? Listen now and share with a friend who needs this message!

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Are you dreading family gatherings during the holiday season? Wondering how to maintain your sobriety and emotional balance when family dynamics threaten to overwhelm you? In this episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, host Shelby John provides a comprehensive roadmap for navigating family interactions with grace, strength, and self-preservation.

Key Insights in This Episode:

Understanding Family Dynamics

Uncover the deep-rooted interaction patterns that can trigger emotional responses and potentially jeopardize your recovery. Shelby breaks down common family roles:

• The Hero: Perfectionism personified
• The Scapegoat: Bearing unwarranted blame
• The Lost Child: Often overlooked and silent
• The Mascot: Using humor as a defense mechanism

Learn to recognize your typical family role and how it impacts your emotional well-being.

Masterful Communication Strategies

Discover the art of communication in recovery with game-changing techniques:

• Implement powerful "I" statements
• Maintain a calm, measured tone
• Practice active listening
• Establish clear, compassionate boundaries

Creating Meaningful Sober Traditions

Redefine family time with innovative, alcohol-free activities that promote connection and wellness:

• Morning group walks
• Healthy cooking together
• Engaging board game nights
• Collaborative volunteer experiences
• Creative craft projects

Essential Self-Care Toolkit

Build your personal stress-management arsenal with:

• 4-7-8 breathing technique
• Quick meditation strategies
• Journaling practices
• Strategic exit plans for overwhelming situations

Bonus Resource

Explore remote Neurofeedback therapy as an innovative approach to healing trauma, managing anxiety, and supporting your recovery journey.

💡 Practical Takeaways:

• Recognize and transform family interaction patterns
• Communicate effectively without compromising your emotional sobriety
• Create new, meaningful family traditions
• Develop robust self-care strategies

Who Should Listen:

• Women in recovery
• Individuals navigating family relationships
• Those seeking emotional wellness strategies
• Anyone supporting a loved one in recovery

🎧 Ready to transform your family gatherings? Listen now and discover how to stay sober, sane, and empowered!

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Navigating Social Gatherings: A Sober Woman's Guide to Confidence and Joy During the Holidays

Are you dreading holiday social events and worried about maintaining your sobriety? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, we dive deep into practical strategies that will transform your approach to social gatherings, helping you not just survive, but truly thrive during the holiday season.

Key Highlights:

• Understanding Your Personal Triggers
• Setting Healthy Boundaries
• Choosing Supportive Social Environments
• Creating Fun Sober Alternatives

Whether you're newly sober or have been on your recovery journey for years, this episode provides actionable insights to help you:

• Identify and manage social triggers
• Communicate your needs confidently
• Create enjoyable social experiences without alcohol
• Protect your emotional well-being during challenging social situations

Inside this episode, you'll learn:

• Specific communication scripts for declining drinks
• Emotional regulation techniques for high-stress social moments
• How to evaluate social invitations through the lens of your recovery
• Creative ideas for sober socializing that are actually fun

For women in recovery, the holidays can feel like navigating a minefield. But with the right tools and mindset, you can approach social gatherings with confidence, grace, and genuine joy. This episode is your comprehensive guide to maintaining your sobriety while creating meaningful connections.

Additional Resources:

• Free Sober Social Survival Guide (link in show notes)
• Community support group information
• Recommended sobriety apps and online resources

If you found this useful please share with a friend so we can grow our community!

About the Host: Shelby John is a passionate advocate for women in recovery, dedicated to creating empowering conversations that support personal transformation. As the host of the Confident Sober Women podcast, she provides practical, compassionate guidance for women building lives they love.

 Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional about your specific recovery journey. 

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Are you struggling with anxiety in recovery? This episode is your lifeline to understanding and managing anxiety like never before. Today, I share five transformative strategies that have been absolute game-changers for women in recovery.

Key Episode Highlights:

• The science behind the powerful 4-7-8 breathing technique
• Neurofeedback therapy: Your brain's ultimate reset button
• Mindfulness practices that actually work for busy women
• How movement becomes medicine for your mental health
• The neurological power of gratitude

What You'll Learn:

• Understand the neurological roots of anxiety
• Discover proven techniques to manage stress and emotional triggers
• Learn about neurofeedback therapy and its incredible benefits for women in recovery
• Practical, science-backed strategies you can implement immediately

FREE Download: "Is Neurofeedback Therapy Right for You?" Grab your comprehensive guide to understanding how we can literally rewire our brains for emotional wellness.

For Women Seeking:

• Anxiety relief
• Sobriety support
• Mental health strategies
• Neurological healing
• Emotional transformation

Expert Insights Include:

• Detailed breakdown of breath work science
• Mind-body connection explanations
• Neurofeedback therapy deep dive
• Mindfulness techniques for real life
• Gratitude practices that rewire your brain

Resources Mentioned:

• 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
• Neurofeedback Therapy
• Mindfulness Practices
• Gratitude Journaling

Connect and Learn More:

• Free Consultation
• Download Free Guide
• Join Our Community

Timestamps: 00:00 - Episode Introduction 05:00 - Breathing Technique Deep Dive 10:00 - Neurofeedback Explained 15:00 - Movement and Anxiety 20:00 - Mindfulness Practices 25:00 - Gratitude and Brain Health 30:00 - Closing Thoughts and Resources

Keywords: anxiety, neurofeedback, sober women, mental health, brain healing, recovery strategies, emotional wellness, mindfulness, breathwork, gratitude

Call to Action: Download your FREE guide now! Schedule your consultation to start your journey to emotional freedom. Share this episode with a woman who needs to hear this message.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.