Confident Sober Women

Today, I sit down with Renae Van Roekel, founder of Connecting to Cope, to explore the journey from childhood trauma and people-pleasing to accountability, healing, and helping others. If you’ve ever felt stuck under shame, guilt, or perfectionism, you’re not alone.

What You’ll Learn 

• How early trauma and being told “you’re bad” became Renae’s internal narrative 
• The cost of people-pleasing addiction, perfectionism, and hiding shame
• Her pivotal moment: why she chose to turn herself in rather than stay silent
• What happens when unhealed trauma collides with family, career, and relationship demands
• Tools she uses now to rewrite her brain: EMDR therapy, Rational Evaluations, journaling, self-care routines
• How negative thinking patterns show up & how to rewrite them with new core beliefs
• Rebuilding difficult family relationships, and how honesty, patience & courage can mend the past

Spotlight on Tools & Modalities

• EMDR therapy – how it helped Renae release trauma beyond talk therapy and regain mental focus
• Rational Evaluations (RSA) & cognitive-behavioral work she learned in prison’s RDAP program
• Daily practices: journaling, self-check-ins, inner dialogue shifts, patience with self

Visit her at www.connectingtocope.com
https://www.facebook.com/connectingtocope/
https://www.instagram.com/connectingtocope/

If you've struggled with addiction, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or inherited shame, Renae’s story shows you can transform your life by facing truth, doing the healing work, and choosing purpose. You can reclaim your identity, your integrity, and your power to choose.

Ready to do the next work on healing your past & reclaiming your voice? Learn more at www.wholisticlivingtherapy.com

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Join host Shelby John as she sits down with Meg Gluth, a confident sober woman, successful business owner, and advocate for long-term recovery. In this inspiring episode, Meg shares her transformative journey from struggling with alcohol as a coping mechanism to building a thriving life rooted in sobriety, purpose, and authentic living.

Episode Highlights:

Meg discusses her recovery story, from her Midwest upbringing and challenges with early sobriety to finding her path through AA and personal growth work. She opens up about losing her first wife to cancer while in law school and how functional alcoholism masked deeper pain for years.

Learn about the four essential pillars Meg built in her first five years of sobriety: building community through sober social activities, establishing spiritual practices like yoga and meditation, working with a therapist on emotional baggage, and prioritizing physical health through exercise and mindful consumption.

Meg shares practical strategies for maintaining confidence and emotional sobriety, including the power of personal accountability, keeping promises to yourself, and understanding that small, consistent habits create lasting transformation. She emphasizes humility as central to her approach, recognizing that your best thinking got you into trouble, and that there's always more to learn.

About Meg Gluth:

Meg is the owner and operator of a manufacturing company headquartered in Seattle with locations nationwide. Her business does approximately $100 million in annual revenue, supplying raw materials and components to industries ranging from home improvement to oil and gas. Meg is also a yoga instructor and passionate advocate for women in recovery.

Connect with Meg:

Visit www.megangluth.com for more information.

Resources Mentioned:

Laura McKowan's "We Are the Luckiest," personal therapy, yoga practice, AA fellowships, and remote neurofeedback therapy for anxiety and sleep support.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Join host Shelby John as she shares powerful strategies for navigating transition times in sobriety. Whether you're dealing with back-to-school stress, seasonal changes, or major life shifts, this episode provides actionable tools to help you thrive instead of just survive.

What You'll Learn:

5 Essential Transition Tools for Women in Recovery: 

• Transition Rituals - How to intentionally mark changes and set intentions 
• The STOP Technique - A proven method to rewire your brain's stress response 
• Support Check-ins - Building proactive connection points before you're struggling 
• Energy Audits - Protecting your energy during overwhelming times 
• Nervous System Reset - Revolutionary approach using remote neurofeedback therapy

Key Topics Covered:

• Why transitions trigger women in recovery more intensely
• How substance use rewires our brain's response to uncertainty
• Creating new neural pathways for conscious choice vs reactive behavior
• Back-to-basics approach during high-stress periods
• Remote neurofeedback therapy as brain training for regulation

Featured Resource:

Learn about Shelby's remote neurofeedback therapy program - a non-invasive, at-home brain training solution that helps retrain your nervous system's response to stress, anxiety, and triggers. Perfect for women ready to take their recovery to the next level.

Shelby's Website: www.shelbyjohn.com 

Free Consultation: Available for remote neurofeedback therapy.

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this episode of the Confident Sober Women Podcast, host Shelby sits down with Emily Sayre Smith, author of "Smartass Memoir of a Mouthy Girl," for an honest conversation about hitting rock bottom and finding redemption through sobriety.

The Breaking Point That Changed Everything

Emily shares the moment that saved her life, sitting on her bedroom floor in West Hollywood at 42, with a gun in her mouth. What happened next was a spiritual awakening that would transform her entire existence: "If I don't kill myself, anything is possible." This realization led her to her first AA meeting.

Why Traditional Recovery Works (Even When You Fight It)

From classical ballerina to gym owner to construction manager to published author, Emily's career path has been anything but linear. But it's her 27-year sobriety journey that reveals the real transformation. She discusses:

• Fighting the concept of powerlessness as a "Type A, go-getter"
• Finding God in rooms full of other recovering addicts
• The slow burn of emotional growth and why "peeling the onion" takes decades
• Surviving major life upheavals sober, including divorce after 22 years

The Truth About Long-Term Sobriety

This isn't your typical "pink cloud" recovery story. Emily and Shelby dive deep into the reality that recovery work never truly ends. Even with decades of sobriety, life can still knock you down - but the tools you develop make all the difference.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• Why hitting your personal "bottom" is often necessary for lasting change
• How community and connection become lifelines in recovery
• The importance of continuing to tell your truth
• Why self-love isn't just a buzzword, it's the foundation of healthy relationships

Emily's recent divorce led to another suicidal crisis, but this time she chose treatment over alcohol. Her journey to self-discovery at 65 offers hope for anyone struggling with codependency and the need for external validation.

Resources Mentioned

• Emily's book: "Smartass Memoir of a Mouthy Girl" (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble)
• Connect with Emily on Facebook: Emily Sayre-Smith
• AA meetings and 12-step programs
• The importance of therapy alongside recovery programs

Struggling with racing thoughts, anxiety, or feeling stuck in unhealthy patterns? Neurofeedback therapy can help rewire your brain for emotional regulation and mental clarity. Visit my website to learn more.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

You’ve been sober for a while now, maybe a year, maybe several, but emotionally, mentally, even physically, you still don’t quite feel like yourself.

You’ve done the therapy. You’ve worked the steps. You know all the tools. And yet…

•   You still feel anxious or overwhelmed 
•   You can’t sleep or wake up exhausted 
•   You overthink everything or spiral into negative thought loops 
•   You wonder why you’re sober but still don’t feel free

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

In today’s solo episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, I’m diving into why your brain can still feel stuck—even years into recovery—and what you can do about it. As a licensed therapist specializing in trauma and addiction, and a woman with over 20 years in sobriety myself, I’ve seen this pattern again and again in the women I work with.

Here’s the truth: Emotional sobriety requires brain-based healing.

We talk about:
 🔹 What’s really going on in your brain and nervous system after long-term substance use
 🔹 Why talk therapy isn’t always enough to heal trauma or negative patterns
 🔹 How unresolved brain imprints from stress, trauma, and addiction affect you years later
 🔹 Why you might still struggle with anxiety, low mood, poor sleep, or reactivity

I also introduce a powerful tool I use in my practice, remote neurofeedback, that helps retrain the brain to function in healthier, more balanced ways.

Neurofeedback is a practical, science-backed, non-invasive solution that works from the comfort of your own home. It supports healing from the inside out, especially for sober women struggling with:

💡 Persistent anxiety or perfectionism
💤 Sleep and focus issues
💔 Emotional reactivity or burnout
💪 High-functioning but still not feeling well

Plus, I share 3 things you can start doing today to begin regulating your nervous system and supporting your emotional sobriety—whether you’re ready for neurofeedback or not.

If you're ready to go deeper in your recovery, this episode will offer insight, hope, and practical support to help you move forward.✨ 

Learn more about remote neurofeedback therapy: www.shelbyjohn.com/neurofeedback

Ready to schedule a consultation or learn if neurofeedback is right for you?

Book your free call here: https://calendly.com/shelbyjohn/podcast-recording

Know a sober woman who needs to hear this?
Share the episode or tag me on IG @shelbyjjohn

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Dr. Vanessa Klugman shares her powerful 10-year recovery story, revealing how perfectionism and people-pleasing led to prescription drug addiction that cost her medical license. Discover the evidence-based tools she used to transform her inner critic into self-compassion and build a thriving life coaching practice.

What You'll Learn

• Why perfectionism can be a dangerous form of self-sabotage 
• The connection between achievement-based love and addiction 
• Three powerful tools to quiet your inner critic: CBT, meditation, and self-compassion 
• How to practice the life-changing "self-compassion break" technique 
• Why struggling is part of the human experience (and how to embrace it) 
• The difference between mindfulness meditation and other types 
• How to rebuild your identity after losing everything

Key Takeaways

"Addiction is the solution, not the problem" - Vanessa explains how substances become coping mechanisms for deeper issues like perfectionism, poor boundaries, and people-pleasing.

The self-compassion break has three parts:

1. Mindfulness - Notice you're struggling
2. Self-kindness - Offer yourself compassion
3. Common humanity - Remember you're not alone

Guest Bio

Dr. Vanessa Klugman is a physician turned recovery coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-sabotaging habits, including perfectionism, procrastination, and addiction. After losing her medical license due to prescription drug addiction, she rebuilt her life using evidence-based practices and now coaches clients nationwide.

Resources Mentioned

• Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance podcast and books
• Kristin Neff - Self-Compassion research and practices
• RAIN meditation technique 
• 12-step recovery programs 
• Mindfulness-based self-compassion courses

Connect with Dr. Vanessa Klugman

Website: resiliencerecoverycoaching.com
Instagram: @resiliencerecoverycoaching
Facebook: Resilience Recovery Coaching

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Episode Highlights: Paulette Kengg, 67, shares her powerful transformation from a "take it or leave it" drinker to alcohol addiction in her mid-50s, and her ultimate freedom through faith-based recovery. After battling chronic insomnia for 8.5 years and following and old friend's advice to drink wine as a sleep aid, Paulette found herself addicted to alcohol—keeping a wine bottle by her bedside instead of sleeping pills.

Key Topics Discussed:

• How chronic insomnia led to alcohol dependency
• Why AA and traditional recovery programs didn't work for Paula
• The role of trauma in addiction (Paulette's father was murdered when she was 14)
• Combining neuroscience with biblical principles for lasting sobriety
• The Heart of Addiction Bible study by Mark Shaw
• Overcoming shame around addiction in Christian communities
• EMDR therapy and trauma healing
• Neuroplasticity and brain recovery in sobriety
• Daily spiritual practices for maintaining sobriety

Paula's Sobriety Tools:

• Daily Bible study, prayer, and meditation
• Journaling (she's kept journals since age 14)
• Exercise and proper nutrition
• Self-compassion and reparenting work
• Serving others in recovery community

Near-Death Experience: Paulette shares her harrowing story of nearly bleeding to death after mixing Jack Daniels with Ambien, emphasizing how addiction progressed despite life-threatening consequences.

Resources Mentioned:

• Spirit-Led Sobriety book by Paulette Kengg
• This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
• Andrew Huberman Podcast Episode 86
• Heart of Addiction Bible study
• EMDR therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Connect with Paulette:

• Newsletter: spiritledsobriety.com
• Instagram: @spiritledsobriety2
• Facebook: Spirit-Led Sobriety (private group)
• Email: [email protected]

Episode Takeaways: Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. Paulette's journey shows that combining scientific understanding of addiction with spiritual transformation can create lasting change. Her story demonstrates the importance of not giving up on yourself, even after years of failed attempts.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Feeling Drained Even in Sobriety? Here's Why (And What to Do About It)

You got sober. You did the hard work. So why do you still feel completely emotionally exhausted?

In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby John dives deep into the silent struggle many sober women face—emotional dysregulation and nervous system burnout. If you're walking through life in a fog of overwhelm or feeling like you’re doing everything “right” but still running on empty, this one’s for you.

Sobriety gets you out of the chaos, but it doesn’t automatically heal trauma or reset your nervous system. That’s the work of emotional sobriety—and it’s what this episode is all about.

💡 Here’s what you’ll learn today:

✅ Why emotional exhaustion in sobriety is not a sign of failure
✅ The difference between sobriety and emotional sobriety
✅ How to regulate your nervous system before trying to “solve” anything
✅ A 3-step roadmap to rebuild your emotional energy from the inside out
✅ Practical tools to ground your body and process emotions without judgment

Shelby also shares the proven healing tools she uses in her practice like EMDR therapy, EMDR intensives, and remote neurofeedback—and how they can support deeper emotional healing, even years into sobriety.

🛠️ Three Steps to Begin Rebuilding Today

1. Regulate First, Reflect Later – Calm your nervous system before diving into “why.” Use grounding tools like deep nasal breathing, 5-4-3-2-1, or a quick barefoot walk.
2. Name the Emotion Without Judgment – Practice saying, “Right now, I’m noticing…” to acknowledge and release your feelings safely.
3. Rebuild from the Root – Go deeper than symptoms. Address unresolved trauma and dysregulation with effective tools like EMDR or neurofeedback.

If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your emotions and start truly healing, this episode offers compassionate insight and doable steps to start feeling better now.

🎧 Don’t forget to hit subscribe and share this episode with a sober sister or any woman you know who’s navigating emotional overwhelm—even if she’s not in recovery.

📍 Want deeper support?
👉 Learn about EMDR Intensives
👉 Explore Remote Neurofeedback Programs

✨ Emotional exhaustion doesn't mean you're not strong. It means your body is asking for deeper care—and you absolutely deserve that.

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this transformative episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, Dr. Ginny Trierweiler unveils a deeply personal and scientifically-backed journey of health transformation that will challenge everything you thought you knew about dieting, nutrition, and wellness.

Dr. Trierweiler shares her powerful personal story of hitting rock bottom at 55 - struggling with chronic pain, pre-diabetes, and feeling trapped in a body that was rapidly deteriorating. Her pivotal moment came while working in nursing homes, witnessing individuals in their 60s and 70s losing their independence.

Breaking the Dieting Cycle

• Why traditional calorie-cutting approaches are actually making metabolic health WORSE
• How 70% of food in our environment is processed and destructive to our health
• The critical difference between calories and nutrients
• Why intuitive eating can be dangerous for those struggling with health challenges

Emotional and Physical Transformation

Dr. Trierweiler candidly discusses:

• Overcoming alcohol dependency
• Dealing with chronic pain through nutrition
• Reconnecting with her body's true needs
• The emotional journey of healing beyond just physical symptoms

Revolutionary Nutrition Principles

Dr. Trierweiler breaks down her evidence-based approach to nutrition, revealing:

1. Abundant Nutritious Eating: Contrary to restrictive diets, she advocates eating MORE of the right foods
2. Nutrient Density Over Calorie Counting: Understanding how what you eat matters more than how much
3. Holistic Healing: Addressing gut health, hormones, and cellular nutrition
4. Sustainable Lifestyle Changes: Creating a approach that feels liberating, not restrictive

Mindset Shifts for Lasting Change

• Breaking free from food and alcohol addiction
• Understanding the dopamine vs. serotonin response to food
• Creating positive emotions around healthy habits
• Treating nutrition as self-care, not punishment

Connect:

• Book Waitlist: Slender for Good Book Waitlist
• Website: Slender for Good
• Facebook: Ginny Trierweiler
• LinkedIn: Ginny Trierweiler
• Instagram: @drginnytrierweiler

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby welcomes Julie Bloom, a recovery coach and mental health trainer who shares her inspiring 7-year sobriety journey that began with an unexpected "gift of illness."

Episode Highlights:

Julie reveals how severe burnout, PTSD, and vertigo became catalysts for her sobriety journey after 20 years as a college Spanish teacher. As a former "well-caffeinated and chardonnay working mom," Julie describes how her alcohol dependence developed while balancing career demands with raising a young daughter.

The conversation explores how serious health challenges—including debilitating vertigo—forced Julie to stop drinking and began her recovery, initially through audiobooks and podcasts like The Bubble Hour while isolated "in the corner of her sectional."

Key Insights on Recovery:

• Identity Transformation: Julie discusses how sobriety required creating a new identity after leaving her tenured teaching position, leading to certification as both a professional and recovery coach.
• Emotional Regulation: Learn practical techniques for managing emotions, including mindfulness, journaling, and "adaptive thinking"—giving the appropriate amount of time, space, and energy to situations.
• Creativity in Recovery: Discover how breaking free from addiction cycles unleashes creative potential, providing the "clarity, bandwidth, and energy" needed to envision and build a fulfilling life.
• Midlife Challenges: The episode addresses how perimenopause, career dissatisfaction, and relationship issues often intersect with recovery journeys, creating what Julie calls a "shitty planet alignment."

Julie shares her journey of professional reinvention, becoming a mental health trainer and speaker who helps others develop resilience and adaptability. She emphasizes the importance of community and altruism in recovery, including her work with SheRecovers.

Shelby and Julie discuss how ADHD symptoms can intensify during perimenopause due to decreasing estrogen levels, highlighting the need for neurological approaches to healing beyond traditional talk therapy.

This episode provides valuable insights for women seeking sobriety and emotional well-being, particularly during significant life transitions. 

For more information, follow Julie at 

juliebloomworld on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or email [email protected].

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.