What if the secret to lasting love isn't choosing between passion and stability, but learning how to create space for both? In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us feel pressured to pick between chemistry and security in early dating – and how that belief can leave us wondering if we're settling when the relationship feels calm or chasing relationships that feel exciting but lack a solid foundation. We discuss why passion and stability aren't opposites, why the "spark" is often mistaken for compatibility, and how lasting relationships are built by intentionally nurturing both excitement and safety over time. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


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When is the last time you felt that intoxicating rush of chemistry while dating? We're all about intentional dating to find a relationship....but we've forgotten about the excitement that comes from more casual dating sometimes. Whether you're in a season of life where you genuinely don't want commitment or you're burnt out from dating with an end goal in mind, we're discussing how a fling can be emotionally healthy – as long as you are intentional about it. We're discussing when flings make sense during certain periods of life, how you can feel alive again after a dry spell or dating burnout, and ways to approach having a fling that keeps you in control, feeling respected, and having fun.

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And what better way to explore having a Fling! Download the Fling Dating app in the app store or visit fling.me today

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the issue isn’t that you’re “bad at choosing,” but that your sense of what you want is still evolving? In this episode, we're exploring the idea of your “picker” and how our past experiences don’t disqualify us from finding love but actually refine our ability to choose better over time (if we let them) We discuss the difference between actively choosing a partner versus passively accepting one, why how someone makes you feel – and how you build together—matters more than checking boxes, and that refining your picker isn’t a one-time breakthrough, but an ongoing process of self-awareness, reflection, and intentional dating. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We're getting real today...because building the type of connection that's real and honest takes us looking at love differently. We're joined by John Kim aka The Angry Therapist who challenges the traditional, views of loves, arguing for a more grounded approach that's more realistic. We're discussing the reasons his definition of a healthy relationship has changed over the years, how to co-create with your partner (even if you are on your first date!), and some unconventional advice to connect better, restarting over again, and moving forward after an expired relationship (as he likes to call it).

To learn more about John Kim, you can follow him @theangrytherapist and go to https://www.theangrytherapist.com/. Get his new book 'Love Hard On Purpose' wherever books are sold.

TW: We do talk about MDMA in this episode

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Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling Dating app in the app store or visit fling.me today

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Why might someone feel ready for love, but still not be ready for a relationship? Today we're discussing the often confusing gap between emotional availability and relational readiness. Just because someone can feel love, connection, or attraction doesn’t always mean they have the capacity, consistency, or alignment needed to build a real relationship. We discuss how it’s possible to genuinely want love and still struggle with the structure a relationship requires, why you may feel confused when someone seems “so into it” but can’t actually follow through, and how to recognize the difference between someone who can feel love—and someone who can build with you inside of it. Enjoy!

-

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the healthiest relationships aren’t the ones that stay the same forever, but the ones that learn how to evolve through every season? We’re joined by Lauren who shares how her relationship has changed over the years – from casual dating to marriage, periods of deep closeness to phases of independence, and living together and apart. We’re discussing what it actually takes to sustain a long-term partnership without losing yourself in the process, the importance of emotional interdependence, and why lasting love often looks less like constant harmony and more like learning how to grow alongside each other through every chapter of life.

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Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling Dating app in the app store or visit fling.me today

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Is the anxiety you’re feeling a signal of real connection – or something happening within you that’s worth understanding? We're unpacking the complex relationship between anxiety and dating, and how anxiety can often be mistaken for chemistry when it may actually reflect deeper uncertainty or unresolved emotional triggers. We discuss the importance of recognizing your personal anxiety patterns, how the “IKEA effect” can backfire when we lead with our anxiety, and how we can challenge the way we define chemistry, recognizing the difference between grounded excitement from anxiety-driven intensity. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the reason meeting people feels so hard right now isn’t because you’re doing something wrong, but because the entire social landscape has changed? We’re unpacking what it actually looks like to meet people beyond dating apps in a world where community and connection don’t come as naturally built into everyday life anymore. We discuss why simply showing up doesn't actually lead to meaningful relationships (and what you can do instead), how to leverage modern social clubs, activities, and events in a way that doesn't burn you out, and ways you can make a random acquaintance a friend and then possibly lead to a date. If you’ve ever wondered why it feels harder to connect these days, or hoped meeting someone “in the wild” would magically happen without effort, this conversation is for you.

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Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling Dating app in the app store or visit fling.me today

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re constantly told that texting is the key to building connection—but what if constant communication is actually creating a false sense of intimacy? In this episode, we’re unpacking the role texting plays in modern dating, and how being in touch all the time can blur the line between real connection and just constant contact. We’re also talking about the pressure texting creates in relationships, the mixed signals that come from low-effort communication, and why intentionality matters more than frequency. Ultimately, we explore how setting boundaries, communicating with purpose, and focusing on meaningful interactions over endless availability can lead to healthier, more grounded relationships. Enjoy!

-

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if you actually love living alone and are sick of the pitying looks from those who couldn't imagine happiness outside of coupledom? We're joined by Dr. Bella DePaulo who describes herself as 'Single at Heart' and shares why she's happy as a clam (even well into her 70s!) and feels anything but lonely being single even in a partnered world. We're discussing how to know if you truly are single at heart or where you fall on the spectrum, how you can thrive on your own whether it's for the long-haul or just in a passing season, and why you can have a meaningful, fulfilling life filled with love regardless of your relationship status.

To learn more about Dr. Bella DePaulo go to https://belladepaulo.com/. Get her book 'Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-filling Joy of Single Life' wherever books are sold.

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Have you ever had a time in your life where you genuinely didn’t want a serious relationship but still wanted connection and chemistry? Download the Fling app in the app store or visit fling.me today.

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Losers Part One and Two by Harley LaRoux: Go get the book wherever books are sold in print or ebook or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy