Dear Little Me

What is epigenetics?

A fascinating look into how much genetics and trauma affect our lives. 

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Johanna Lynn works in the emerging field of epigenetics.  When you have traumatic experiences, that trauma can leave a chemical mark on your genes, which can then be passed down to future generations. This mark doesn't cause a genetic mutation, but it does alter the way that gene is expressed. This alteration is not genetic. It is epigenetic. Not only do parents pass down their DNA, it’s what happened to your grandparents & parents and the affect of those experiences on their DNA that is passed down to us.

Johanna is amazing!  You can find her at https://johannalynn.ca/ and on instagram https://www.instagram.com/thefamilyimprint_institute/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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hitting rock bottom

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Jewels had never had stability her whole life. And life had not been straightforward either.  As a child, Jewels just adored her Dad.  But he really wasn’t coping and a violent incident meant that Jewels and her mum had to leave quickly.  Her world would never be the same again.  Thrown into an unsafe situation it would be decades before jewels could even begin to recover from those experiences. Jewels was off the rails for many years addicted to drugs and alcohol and yet the rock bottoms never took her down. 

You can find Jewels on instagram https://www.instagram.com/jewelsthemakingofawoman/ and purchase the book https://themakingofawoman.com/purchase/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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How do you end a relationship with a narcissistic mother?

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Adriana is a coach who is empowering survivors of narcissistic abuse to heal, set boundaries and live life on their own terms. Adriana grew up with a mother who was confusing. She loved her mom and she also hated her and the older she got the more fractured the relationship became. Adriana's mom was abusive, toxic and abandoning and kept Adriana in a tiny world with very few outside connections. Adriana describes herself as a pawn baby and was used in a game by her mom to manipulate her Dad. Her mother manipulated the relationship she had with her Dad so much, she eventually became completely estranged from her father. Adriana is now creating beautiful healing spaces for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse.  If you have ever had a narcissist in your life, you need to hear this.

You can find Adriana on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/letsgetyourshifttogether/ and please checkout her community here https://letsgetyourshifttogether.com/community/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Childhood trauma has a huge impact on the nervous system. It can cause generalised anxiety, constant fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses and can be as severe as panic attacks. Mireya survived in a family with little love or care. Her mother was abandoning and she was never told “I love you” or given a hug. A destructive early relationship was a setback, but Mireya met her soulmate and finally understood what is was like to be loved. However, the anxiety from her childhood and teen years remained. In this quick chat episode, Mireya tells us what she does each day to manage her anxiety.

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You can find Mireya on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/motheringanxietypodcast/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Childhood Emotional Neglect

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Kat was born to a mom who was an addict and a dad who wanted nothing to do with her. Unable to care for her, Kat's biological mom decided to put her up for adoption. Left in a home until she was 3 years old, Kat was finally adopted by a family surviving their own version of chaos. A mother who seemingly had no interest in connecting with Kat, a brother with mental health issues and a father who appeared to be her only protector but was ultimately living a terrible lie. If you are in need of some inspiration, you must hear Kat's story. At times desperate and suicidal Kat was gifted the most incredible humans to guide her on her path and her resilience and determination to break the generational cycles of abuse and abandonment are deeply moving and are a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Generational trauma examples

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Generational trauma is the traumatic events that have a ripple effect across generations. What happens to one person has an impact on their children and that impact continues to affect generation after generation until somebody sees it and heals it. Today I am sharing a quick chat with Nita which clearly shows how trauma is expressed and shared through families. Nita’s Mom went through incredible trauma as a child and her feelings of abandonment meant she was never able to connect with Nita’s needs and emotions. As a family they never acknowledged the terrible things that happened and they never spoke about anything. The belief was, that if we ignore it, it will go away and so Nita abandoned her own needs and the cycle is perpetuated.

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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What are the signs of a narcissistic mother?

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As kids we have no idea that what we are experiencing is abuse.  We can't label a mother a narcissist because she is simply our mother and we don't know anything different.  I have heard from so many women who never understood the toxicity of a parent until decades later.

Alex's mother was narcissistic.  Subject to abuse and manipulation her entire life, Alex felt that SHE was the problem. It wasn't until, as an adult, Alex found herself in a highly toxic relationship and whilst looking for answers, discovered that not only was this boyfriend a narcissist but recognised all the signs in her mother too.

Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Healing Coach Alex Scot is an incredible wealth of information on the narcissist.  She is now helping women to heal and thrive in healthy conscious relationships.  You can find Alex at https://www.instagram.com/thealexscot/  and please go buy her short courses, join Healing Heart Hackers or get coaching here https://www.alexscot.com/talktome

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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How to support a friend emotionally.

We all know we should support a friend or family member who is struggling, but what should we actually do for them?

So much of the time we feel helpless in how we can offer assistance when it's clear somebody we care about isn’t coping. But how can we help?

The answer is often very simple.  Actively listening.  Actively inviting that person to share what they are going through and hearing them.

The value of having one person in your life that cares enough to listen can never be underestimated.

This quick chat with Aunia Khan is a look into the power of that one person. When you are a teen and you have lived your entire life in trauma and you have nobody there for you, Aunia talks about how life-saving the connection with her school counsellor was. How it gave her a sense of safety that she felt nowhere else in her life and how as a kid in trauma she still, to this day, feels grateful for the time and energy this man was able to invest in her at her lowest point.

Aunia Khan is an incredible artist and you can find her here at Create For Healing  https://www.instagram.com/createforhealing/    and here https://www.instagram.com/auniakahn/

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Signs of unhealthy friendships

I came across Erin Falconers book How To Break Up With Your Friends and I thought it would be so valuable to chat with Erin about adult friendships. The way we are raised by our parents, the trauma we are exposed to and the way our parents interacted within their own friendships, has a profound impact on how we create and maintain friendships throughout our lives. Friendships are critical to our overall health and wellbeing and yet we are never given any real guidance around friendships. And then if a friendship is past it's use-by date, how do we go about breaking up with a friend? There should be no shame in needing to let go of a friendship because it is no longer serving us and Erin has some great tips on navigating our adult friendships.  

Please purchase your copy of How To Break Up With Your Friends here https://amzn.to/3EwIPR0 you can read first chapters of the book here https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-break-up-with-your-friends/ and you can find Erin on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/erinfalconer/ 

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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What is codependency in a relationship?

This quick chat with Shannon is a great insight into what happens to kids who grow up in a chaotic home environment. Shannon’s grandfather was abusive to her mother and her grandmother.  And Shannon was a constant witness to the abuse. She took on the role of taking care of everybody. And that’s where co-dependency begins. Kids in homes where there is abuse or addiction issues learn to neglect their own needs in order to meet the needs of those around them. They become the primary caregiver to the adults in their lives. They find emotional fulfilment through making others feel happy, regardless of their own needs. The focus is always on other people and they have difficulty expressing emotions or what they deeply need because they’ve not learnt to look out for themselves in that way.

If you are struggling with co-dependency seek professional help so that you can begin to recognise the signs of codependency, learn how to set healthy boundaries, overcome people pleasing and learn how to reconnect with who you are.

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected]. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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