Dear Little Me

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is at epidemic proportions across the globe.  How does this happen to so many women?  In the story I am sharing with you this week the path is clear.  Nita grew up in an environment that was unsafe.  She spent many years doing the very best she could to make this environment work for her as she learned to people please and abandon herself over and over.  Control and expectation ruled and so when Nita escaped into her marriage she thought she would be saved from an abusive childhood.  However, as Nita describes it, she ended up in a marriage that was just like 'home'.  Abusive and controlling.  A repeat of everything that had been so familiar to her.  And this is the story of so many women.  Because when your self esteem is so low and you are living your life to make everyone else happy you can absolutely learn to live with being treated in the most abusive of ways.  And so it continues from childhood through into adulthood.  Nita's life changed the moment her 9 year old daughter, with tears streaming down her face, said, "Momma, daddy loves you, he just shows it by being mean." A day that changed everything. Nita is now a coach using her power as a survivor and everything she has learned to help others in the mental health awareness space. We had so much to chat about that Nita's story will be broken up into two parts.  Here is Part 1.

You can find Nita on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/awakening_of_a_soul/ her podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinity-warrior/id1495739533 

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How does unresolved childhood trauma affect adulthood?

Our world is filled with unwellness. The rates of chronic illness are through the roof. The pharmaceutical industry is pumping out medications to fix diagnoses and bring us relief from thousands of chronic health symptoms every day. How did we become so unwell? Is there a better way? Sarah Harvey believes so. Sarah has spent her life fighting a myriad of chronic health issues. Always unwell. Always struggling. Until a trip to India showed Sarah another way to think about what was happening to her body. The mind body connection is real and when we have experienced childhood trauma, that trauma is held in our body and shows up in our health. As we solve one health issue, another appears and we can end up on a merry-go-round, never being well and never solving the problem. Trauma causes chronic health issues but we do have the power to heal and thrive after living with symptoms for years. If you have been chronically sick, you must hear this. Sarah has so much to share with us on this topic.  

You can find Sarah at her website https://www.theselfhealerssociety.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahharvey/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theselfhealerssoc YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HneJRC69TjIye_zFOKI4Q

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Breaking the cycle of the mother wound.

Our mother wound is often our grandmother wound. It’s our ancestral trauma. Passed down from mother to child down the line until somebody decides to raise their hand and say ‘this stops with me’. It’s a strong and courageous move to be that person. The one that decides to break those generational patterns. Because you are stepping outside of the framework that has been taught to you. And you risk losing those closest to you by going down a path with no support. I’m chatting with Victoria on the podcast this week and Victoria is a cycle breaker. Victoria’s parents married very young, orchestrated by her grandmother. Not only did Victoria’s mother become unhappy in this marriage but she never got the time to experience life as an adult before she married and had kids. And the ensuing divorce was difficult for everyone. The effects of generational trauma are real and Victoria has done a tonne of healing. She has even had to remove some family members from her life altogether. It is not easy to take this route but there is so much strength in being the cycle breaker. Please join me in hearing Victoria’s story.

You can find Victoria at her website https://www.stregalunafarm.com/  and her two instagram accounts https://www.instagram.com/victorious.trauma.mama/ and https://www.instagram.com/strega.luna.farmvt/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Symptoms of childhood trauma in adults.

This week we are taking a deep dive into childhood trauma.  What is it? where does it come from? How does it affect us and how can we heal and grow and live the life we wish for.  My guest this week is Joanna Filidor a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in the treatment of trauma.  Joanna is passionate about helping survivors to heal their trauma, build resilience and belonging.  She has worked with many, many clients and is a wealth of information on this very important topic.  You will definitely learn something from this chat.

You can find Joanna on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theresilientself/ and her website https://www.joannafilidormft.com

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to heal from a father wound.

Justin Connor’s relationship with his Dad was turbulent. Growing up in a home with a father who was alcoholic and out of control at times, Justin learned to parent himself at an early age. When his parents divorced Justin and his brother were caught in the middle of a bitter custody battle. Justin has spent many years on a healing journey looking for self love and understanding. After many years estranged from each other, Justin was able to connect with his father on his death bed, offer forgiveness and compassion and connect with him in a way he never had before.  Justin has written and directed The Golden Age a movie about this journey to healing.  You can find links to the movie and music below.  Please join me in hearing Justin’s story.

Film: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08M98K6NJ

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tozcS1RShdc&t=7s

Soundtrack:  https://lnk.to/tgafilm

Social: https://linktr.ee/justinconnor

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to heal from a toxic mother.

Our mothers are our nurturers, gatherers, protectors.  They bring us into the world and we rely on them for everything.  And so when that relationship becomes toxic, it is one of the hardest things to bear.  Marci's Mom and Dad had a difficult relationship from as far back as Marci can remember.  There was always tension, anger, fighting.  And when her father left, Marci thought her Mom's behaviour would improve.  But unfortunately for Marci it just got worse. Bi-polar and narcissistic, Marci's relationship with her mother deteriorated.  For many years Marci continued to tolerate toxic behaviour but it wasn't until her Mom turned this destructive behaviour towards Marci's children that Marci had no choice but to cut her out of her life.  Marci has spent many years healing and being the mother to her kids that she never had herself. Please join me in hearing Marci's story.

Marci recommends Everything Is Figureoutable https://amzn.to/3bb3ifd The Alchemist https://amzn.to/3vLIrqK Big Magic https://amzn.to/3h8eywT

You can find Marci at her podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/2jdUtUA62v6xLhn4GmKqyf Facebook https://www.facebook.com/marci527/ and her website https://marcibrockmann.com/  Permission to Land her book is here https://amzn.to/3O8S0dH

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can trauma stop you from eating? Childhood trauma, anxiety and anorexia.

Paulina was born in Poland.  Her grandmother was just 19 when World War II broke out. It was a traumatic time and her grandmother was forced into hiding to avoid the concentration camps. At one point she was made to hide in a bread oven. The deep anxiety carried from those years was eventually passed down to Paulina’s mother and finally to Paulina who has struggled with anxiety for most of her life. At 14 years of age Paulina was anorexic and at her lowest point she was 35kg and about to be hospitalised. Anorexia eventually turned into bulimia and the toxic cycle of an eating disorder was extremely difficult to break. Generational trauma is palpable and runs deep in this story. Please join me in hearing Paulina’s story.

( chronic disease chronic illness fatigue chronic syndrome chronic fatigue syndrome eating disorders )

Paulina recommends Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving https://amzn.to/3dYz6Wq The Body Keeps The Score https://amzn.to/3e3v3IF Reasons To Stay Alive https://amzn.to/3xGtN67

You can find Paulina at Instagram www.instagram.com/paulinatenner Twitter twitter.com/paulinatenner Clubhouse @Paulinatenner Her website paulinatenner.com where you can find information on her book LAID BARE: What the Business Leader Learnt from the Stripper.

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to deal with a narcissistic mother.

Having a narcissistic mother can be a living hell.  It can change everything. Manipulation, gaslighting and abuse are an everyday occurrence. Mostly as kids we have no idea what is going on. There can be so much confusion as we try to change our behavior to meet the narcissistic mother's expectations. We believe that if we can just do the right thing, please her, be the person she wants us to be? reach the dizzying heights of what she wants from us? that we will finally receive her love. Finally, she will love us, accept us, be there to understand us and hug and hold us when we cry.  But it's just not possible. Because the narcissist doesn't understand empathy or emotion. She operates from a sense of entitlement where her view of the world is the only view and nothing else is considered. There is no love or understanding. There is only manipulation and blame and this behaviour is there for a lifetime. I am chatting with Terry on the podcast this week. Terry had no idea her mom was a narcissist as she tried to mould and change herself to be loved. But once Terry understood, she knew she would eventually have to cut ties with this destructive force in her life. Terry is an Executive Coach and author of Winning The Game of Work. Please join me in hearing Terry's story.

Terry recommends The Art of Selfishness https://amzn.to/3sgLWTT and Courage is a Three Letter Word https://amzn.to/3tmbzE3

You can find Terry at www.linkedin.com/in/terrybmcdougall. Her book Winning The Game of Work www.tinyurl.com/gameofworkbook

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The consequences of emotionally detached parents.

Did you ever wish you had a family where everyone was calm and happy? There were no raised voices. There were no angry words. Your parents provided a good home with home cooked meals and a warm bed and you always knew you were loved?  It feels like you would have everything you needed right? But what about real, deep connection?  What about real communication?  What about when parents don't connect with you on a deeper level? And what happens when you leave home and get out into the world and realise that you don’t know how to deal with emotions like anger from others because you never saw it.  It was never modelled at home in a positive or negative way. You don’t know how to create boundaries because you’d never had to use them. And you don’t understand the emotion of anger within yourself because you can’t recognise it. Kimberly grew up in a home that gave her so many great things. But when there are emotions that you are never allowed to express, there comes a time when you begin to recognise that something is missing. Please join me in hearing Kimberly’s story.

Kimberly recommends Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://amzn.to/3tkXjLA

You can find Kimberly on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/letyour9shine/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Do You Survive A Cult?

Between the ages of 0 - 5 years we are absorbing everything.  Like a sponge.  We are 'trained' by the world around us to take on the same beliefs, understandings, ideas as our caregivers. The way we do life is learnt and assimilated. And if we grow up in an extremely religious environment, this way is our normal. It's the only world we know. Luis grew up in the Jehova's Witness faith. He didn't celebrate birthdays, holidays or halloween. He wasn't allowed to mix with kids who were not Witnesses. And as a very young child he would preach to kids at school about how celebrating halloween would send them all to armageddon, because this was what he knew to be true. The fear and control around a young life within a strict religion is unbearable. And when you realise that something completely forbidden by the church, being gay, is who you are, what happens then? I am chatting with Luis this week and he gives a deep insight into growing up in a religious cult and how damaging it can be. How do you move on and create a life for yourself which is nothing like the one your parents expected for you?  

Luis recommends A Child Called It  https://amzn.to/3ubNikp and Toxic Parents https://amzn.to/3wabZzc

You can find Luis on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thescreenkid/ YouTube https://youtu.be/1Pub8yvCVrQ 

IMDB https://m.imdb.com/name/nm2215083/?ref_=m_ttfcd_wr2

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.