Dear Little Me

What does a narcissistic mother do to a child?

Did you know that childhood trauma can start as early as in the womb? Imagine that a young woman of eighteen becomes a mother and because of the short traumatic life she has lived, she has no idea how to connect with her own emotions, let alone those of a tiny baby. Because she abandoned herself long ago, she is unable to be present for this child’s needs. Because her own body has been used and abused, she is unable to take out her breast to feed a crying, screaming child. And because she is highly traumatised she is unable to provide a space in her womb that is free of trauma. This is Dr Melanie Salmon’s story. Please come and listen to what she has to say. It's the story of growing up with a mother who has narcissistic personality disorder.  Dr Melanie Salmon’s story meant that she has spent a lifetime recovering from the trauma of childhood. She spent many years in talk therapy and when she realised this was never going to fully get to the root of her issues, she developed her own healing modality where she is changing lives. If you are suffering from the effects of childhood trauma you need to hear this episode.

You can find Dr Melanie Salmon on her website https://qecliving.com/origins/ and her book There Has To Be Another Way is here https://amzn.to/3hHnWd7

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Living with complex PTSD (CPTSD).

Sara felt lost. She felt like she had missed the memo on how to do life. She was confused and wasn’t even sure what the questions were, let alone where to find the answers. It turns out that Sara had CPTSD and it took her 9 years to find somebody that could actually tell her this. And at no time did she think that this journey was about her childhood, about what had happened to her as a small child. What she did have was a bunch of missing pieces. And that’s how Sara describes complex trauma. Survivors become so fragmented, so broken up into a million tiny pieces, each piece trying to figure things out in order to survive. It's a network we build of protection and safety to survive the trauma.  And it leaves survivors in a very dark and difficult place.  Sara has an amazing instagram page called https://www.instagram.com/breakingdowncptsd/ where she is sharing her own journey and offering hope and resources for anyone who needs it.

You can find Sara on instagram https://www.instagram.com/breakingdowncptsd/  her website https://www.saraaird.com/aboutme-1

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Signs of mother wound.

The mother wound can be like a gaping hole in the middle of your chest that started in childhood and has never been able to heal.  It starts in the womb where you are influenced by your mothers dream of life. Your mother is your first archetype of love and whoever your mom is and however she sees the world will have a profound impact on you.  Everything she says and does as you are growing is being absorbed by you. How she handled relationships, how she responded to things, your interactions with her, everything.  All of it will impact you, your emotions, your feelings, confidence, self love, self worth.  And if this relationship has been impacted in negative ways, this wound might stay raw and angry for a lifetime.  Kerri’s relationship with her mom had some early setbacks which left deep feelings of distrust.  These feelings affected Kerri’s life and relationships for decades.  But the healing journey has been profound.  Please join me in hearing Kerri’s story.

You can find Kerri on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kerri.hummingbird/ her website https://kerrihummingbird.com/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What causes perfectionism?

As a young girl Lauren felt pressure to look pleasing to those around her. To look perfect. To fit in. And as she got more into her love of acting, the pressure only got worse. Constant analysis of looks, weight. Perhaps you should lose a few pounds? Your voice isn’t great. Picking away at the very core of her soul. This is a story of a beautiful passionate young girl who had a dream. To be successful. As an actor. But the unrelenting drive to be perfect took its toll. The anxiety, the panic to always be what everyone else wants you to be is, in the end, untenable. Life comes crashing down around your ears and as you try to take that one last chance at the dream, you realise that life is guiding you in a different direction. Lauren's story is compelling listening. There are so many twists and turns to this story as Lauren gets lost along the way. But every single word is truth. And a good reminder that sometimes trauma can show up in our pursuit of perfection.

You can find Lauren on instagram https://www.instagram.com/lauren.lipson.rozen/ 

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Healing trauma with energy healing.

Do you feel stuck?  Do you feel like you’ve done all the things.  You’ve tried so hard to heal and you’ve made so much progress.  But there’s still something in the way.  And you can’t figure it out.  You know what you want, but you just can’t get there.  It’s sabotaging the life you want for yourself.  But what is it? I’m chatting with Amanda Monnier Energy Healer and the answer? it could be all about energy.  Amanda’s parents divorced when she was just six years old and like many kids of divorced parents, Amanda took on those emotions and was left with the belief that what had happened to her family was her fault.  As an empath and intuitive Amanda was picking up on everything that was happening around her, absorbing the low vibrational energy and all of the chaos. And this was a belief she carried with her for many years.  It sabotaged her adult relationships and finally Amanda experienced her dark night of the soul which saw her begin to turn things around. Amanda is now an energy healer and helps women to find the resistance we hold from our family history, our beliefs and our emotions and teaches us how to rewire all of that to create the life we have always dreamed of.

You can find Amanda on instagram https://www.instagram.com/amandamonnier/ facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/thefiercefeminine her website https://amandamonnier.com/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CSA Childhood sexual abuse survivor.

Shanon is a beautiful soul.  I connected with her on Instagram where she has an amazing following of trauma survivors who are finding connection and community @survivingchiildhoodtrauma. And Shanon’s story is one of the hardest there is. Shanon never met her Mom. She died whilst giving birth to Shanon. And Shanon was raised by her father. Under his care she was abused by her Grandfather. At five years of age Shanon began asking people outside of her home to hear her. Because even at five she questioned what was happening.  But nobody listened.  Nobody.  There is so much more to this story of childhood trauma and healing and the only person who can tell it, is Shanon. It’s vital you hear Shanon’s story.

You can find Shanon on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/survivingchildhoodtrauma/ and her website https://survivingchildhoodtrauma.com/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intergenerational trauma. CPTSD.

A parent with unhealed trauma directly influences the experience for their child. The way a parent with unhealed trauma raises their child affects the child, how that child raises their child and so on down the line. It is an intergenerational transmission of wounding. An inheritance of hurt. Dr Tanner Wallace is a professional guide facilitator, mentor and coach in childhood trauma recovery.  Tanner has a PhD in education and is trained through the IFS Internal Family Systems Institute.  Tanner also has personal experience as a human with complex trauma or CPTSD.  In this episode Tanner walks us through the effect that a parent with unhealed trauma has on their kids.

You can find Dr. Tanner Wallace on https://www.heldbytanner.com/2023yearofhealing and her podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/held-by-tanner/id1515546096

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heal your inner wounds

When Amanda was growing up she felt she was never good enough. Coming from a family whose language revolved around negativity and limiting beliefs and with a history of depression, Amanda struggled at school and felt disconnected. Regardless she did all the things. Finished school, went to uni, got a degree, got married, had a child, ticking off all the boxes required for a 'successful life’. The life and the path we are led to believe will bring us happiness and fulfilment. But does it? Because whose dream are we living? Our parents? Society's? Amanda was living the dream but was in such a negative headspace she describes her days as one endless Pity Party! And she knew things needed to change. In this episode we are chatting about who am I really? How do I find me? Because the narrative you are running in your head from childhood and what you believe about yourself will be creating your reality now. Amanda Ryall Hill is the author of I CHOOSE ME.  She is also a podcaster and teacher. She is passionate about teaching us how to heal our inner wounded child and show up to be the joyful, creative humans we were born to be. Please join me to hear Amanda explain how to choose you and live the life you crave.

You can find Amanda on her website https://amandahryall.com/about/  and her podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-choose-you-now/id1561739457

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is at epidemic proportions across the globe.  How does this happen to so many women?  In the story I am sharing with you this week the path is clear.  Nita grew up in an environment that was unsafe.  She spent many years doing the very best she could to make this environment work for her as she learned to people please and abandon herself over and over.  Control and expectation ruled and so when Nita escaped into her marriage she thought she would be saved from an abusive childhood.  However, as Nita describes it, she ended up in a marriage that was just like 'home'.  Abusive and controlling.  A repeat of everything that had been so familiar to her.  And this is the story of so many women.  Because when your self esteem is so low and you are living your life to make everyone else happy you can absolutely learn to live with being treated in the most abusive of ways.  And so it continues from childhood through into adulthood.  Nita's life changed the moment her 9 year old daughter, with tears streaming down her face, said, "Momma, daddy loves you, he just shows it by being mean." A day that changed everything. Nita is now a coach using her power as a survivor and everything she has learned to help others in the mental health awareness space. We had so much to chat about that Nita's story will be broken up into two parts.  Here is part two.

You can find Nita on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/awakening_of_a_soul/ her podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinity-warrior/id1495739533

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.