Dear Little Me

What happens to the perfect child?

Emma was always described by her mom as a good kid. Never in trouble or acting out. She was so good!  But what does good really mean? That you are obeying all the rules? suppressing all the emotions? playing the perfect role? Appearing to the world like the perfect child? And does burying who you really are, never having permission to express an emotion, create trauma? Can that trauma affect your whole life and you never even see it? Is it there driving everything but it's so buried you can’t even acknowledge it? Emma’s parents were good humans. Emma adored her Dad and was so well cared for by her mom who ensured her every daily need was met. But as a sensitive kid, Emma felt everything deeply. When life was happening all around her, Emma learnt that sharing how she felt wasn’t acceptable to her mom who was unable to deal with the triggers of those emotions. And so Emma learnt to be silent. To bury. And a dark incident when Emma was four years old left her feeling very unsafe but she never shared it with another soul. This is the story of how Emma has been on a journey of understanding. Her journey includes a battle with cancer and a diagnosis of ADHD, revelations about the cycle of behaviours in families and a deep desire to give her own two kids a different way to be in this world. Please join me in hearing Emma’s story.

Emma recommends Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://amzn.to/3tkXjLA

You can find Emma at www.instagram/emmawarrenskies

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens to the perfect child?

Emma was always described by her mom as a good kid. Never in trouble or acting out. She was so good! But what does good really mean? That you are obeying all the rules? suppressing all the emotions? playing the perfect role? Appearing to the world like the perfect child? And does burying who you really are, never having permission to express an emotion, does this create trauma? Can that trauma affect your whole life and you never even see it? Is it there driving everything but it's so buried you can’t even acknowledge it? Emma’s parents were good humans. Emma adored her Dad and was so well cared for by her mom who ensured her every daily need was met.  But as a sensitive kid, Emma felt everything deeply. When life was happening all around her, Emma learnt that sharing how she felt wasn’t acceptable to her mom who was unable to deal with the triggers of those emotions. And so Emma learnt to be silent. To bury. And a dark incident when Emma was four years old left her feeling very unsafe but she never shared it with another soul.  This is the story of how Emma has been on a journey of understanding. Her journey includes a battle with cancer and an adult diagnosis of ADHD, revelations about the cycle of behaviours in families and a deep desire to give her own two kids a different way to be in the world. Please join me in hearing Emma’s story.

Emma recommends Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://amzn.to/3tkXjLA

You can find Emma at www.instagram/emmawarrenskies

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How does it feel to be an adopted child?

Ali was adopted at birth by a mum and dad who were desperate to provide a loving home to a baby. And that’s exactly what they did.  Both very loving, very giving parents who gave Ali a really wonderful childhood. And right from the start Ali was aware she had been adopted. There were no secrets or big revelations. But what happens when you begin to see that you are not quite the same as everyone else in your family? You look a little different, you think a little differently and you have this deep, deep need to reconnect with the mother who birthed you into the world? For Ali it meant suppressing many emotions over many years. Not really understanding the emotions or being able to put them into words and never wanting to upset her adoptive parents Ali's physical and mental health suffered.  Ali has been on a long healing journey to find self love and understanding and she has so much wisdom to share with us. Please join me in hearing Ali’s story.

Ali recommends  The Untethered Soul https://amzn.to/2OcGtzJ  The Defining Decade https://amzn.to/3rB7VW1 Spirit Hacking https://amzn.to/3ciVWpK Primal Wound  https://amzn.to/2OIe3x4 Peace Is Every Step https://amzn.to/3lgLy6d

Ali is launching an Adopt Yourself Group Mentorship Program this month and you can find this and her Adoptee Support Group on her website alijameson.com  Ali is on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/ali.leigh.jameson/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Adult Children Of Alcoholics.

Leslie knows all too well how alcoholism can run through families. Growing up with parents and an older brother who also drank, Leslie was alone and lonely much of the time. Leslie's mom worked hard in the house during the day but once 6pm rolled around she declared she was 'off duty', began drinking and Leslie would often spend the evenings alone. When Leslie was ten years old a horrible accident left her feeling shattered. A child of alcoholic parents can feel abandonment, rejection and neglect and these are all a part of Leslie's story. Leslie is so fabulous and vibrant and positive and her mission is to help women to live their best possible lives. She wants to help you understand that you have the power to change your life. To break those cycles. And that there are people out there who have your back.

You can find Leslie on instagram https://www.instagram.com/girltribefitfunandsexy and facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/girltribefitfunandsexy.  

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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What causes child addiction?

Do you have a deep sense of who you are?  Do you always show up as your authentic self?  Voice your opinions regardless of whether they are popular? Walk into a room and have no cares about who is there and what other people think about you? Jonathan was a talented kid with a love of sport.  rom a very young age Jonathan learnt to put on a mask. To be and say what others wanted. To show up as an actor in his own life and walk into a room and play the part. He was a sensitive kid and all the emotions and pressures were hidden to ensure he appeared strong and on top of his game. But what happens when you can’t deal with everything you’re holding inside? When you really aren’t coping with the pressure of life and the elite sporting scene? When you just want to shout out "I'm not this kid!". In Jonathan’s case you turn to alcohol. After taking his first drink at just 12 year's of age, Jonathan’s life became a never ending battle of continuing to present to the world as strong and capable, whilst drinking more and more and spiralling down into alcoholism. After many years of trying to turn his life around Jonathan is now able to share what it felt like to be that struggling little kid. He now knows that the only way to turn up in this world is as himself, his real self. And that’s a journey towards self worth and self love. Please join me in hearing Jonathan’s story.

You can find Jonathan on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/teamshirudo/ and also his Unity Clothing Brand https://www.instagram.com/watzup.organisation/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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What are the signs of being codependent?

Shannon is an Intuitive Energy Healer. She can read energy, is highly sensitive and uses her psychic gifts to connect in with her clients. As Shannon says herself, you teach what you know and Shannon has had a lifetime of experience reading the energies of her highly volatile family members just to survive. Shannon's mother is bi-polar and she and Shannon's Dad met when they were both 14. When Shannon was ten years old her mother left home for 3 weeks and nobody knew where she went. Shannon started caring for her family then and has continued to do that ever since in a very co-dependent way. Shannon is a beautiful soul. She has the wisdom of a life filled with the most amazing stories. Please join me in hearing Shannon's story.

Shannon's Book Recommendations:- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay https://amzn.to/2KUOw2l . You Are Enough by Panache Desai https://amzn.to/2LjFJqn The Inner Matrix by Joey Klein https://amzn.to/3obTIND .  Loving What Is by Byron Katie. https://amzn.to/2JF6up1 . Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping https://amzn.to/2MplhVH

You can find Shannon at https://www.instagram.com/airstream_oracle/.  podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/adventures-of-the-airstream-oracle/id1523463868  website www.shannonpinkston.com

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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How does addiction affect the entire family?

Mel grew up with a Mom and Dad who were very young and still enjoying the party life. Mel's earliest memories are of fun mixed with chaos.  She had to grow up fast, trying to be a part of this adult world whilst also trying to find a way to control it. And then over time Mel's Dad became alcohol and drug addicted. He would sometimes be the fun and funny Dad and sometimes his behaviour would be completely unpredictable and he could spiral out of control and this was a pattern that continued for many years.  Being a pivotal support person to her struggling Mom and taking on a huge amount of responsibility within the family at a very young age, Mel's home life was extremely hard.  And then a tragic incident in Mel's teen years changed everything.  Mel's story is a window into the life of a kid growing up with a parent who is also an addict.

Mel recommends Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud https://amzn.to/3tz3nRv

Mel is a coach and counsellor.  She helps you to find clarity, healing & fuel to dream again.  You can find Mel at https://www.instagram.com/manna.and.hive/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is generational grief?

Kim didn't feel the love growing up.  Her mother felt Kim was too sour and serious and there was a disconnect between mother and daughter.  But Kim's mother was dealing with a series of miscarriages and so much loss and grief.  And Kim's mother's mother was in active grief for many years when Kim's mother was a child. And that's generational trauma right there.  Where we find a pattern of coping and doing the best we can with the emotional baggage passed down to us by our parents.  After her parents divorce Kim was often left to fend for herself, never receiving love or praise or even acknowledgement, spending many hours alone. The one saving grace in this childhood story is Kim's wonderful paternal Grandmother.  With Gram she never felt judged or less than. She felt the love unconditionally. And when Gram died seven years ago her parting words to Kim were simply to "enjoy your life".  And it has been these three words that have been completely life-changing for Kim.  Please join me in hearing Kim's story.

Kim recommends The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks https://amzn.to/3auodcc

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/unbelievablefreedomwithkim/ . Journaling  unbelievablefreedom.podia.com/blank-page-bliss.  

Website https://www.unbelievablefreedom.com/  Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unbelievable-freedom-with-kim-smith/id1523522829?uo=4

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Healing the mother wound.

Bianca describes her family as typically Italian.  Lots of aunties and cousins with everyone up in everyone else's business, giving their opinions freely about how you were meant to live your life.  Except when there were more serious issues involved.  Like mental health, depression or the inability to cope.  These things were usually swept under the carpet and actively not shared or discussed. Bianca's relationship with her mother was difficult.  She felt from a young age that she was not good enough, that her brother was the favourite child.  She felt distant from her mom who spoke of her in glowing terms publicly but was detached and demeaning in private.  The mother daughter relationship can be so complex and Bianca's story is a true testament to that.

Bianca recommends A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle https://amzn.to/2KPM4Ko

Bianca is a Body Image Consultant, Confidence Coach and Mentor.  You can find Bianca on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/biancahurstcoaching/

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Factors contributing to drug abuse amongst youth.

Amanda's parents were divorced when she was five years old and Amanda's mom raised her two kids alone.  Painfully shy, Amanda had to attend a new school every year as the family moved often.  She was regularly left at home alone with her little brother and increasingly felt responsible for her mother's changing moods.  There was anger and abuse at home and this only accelerated when her new step-father came on the scene. By the time Amanda was ten years old the abuse was so bad, she was suicidal.  By sixteen she was drug and alcohol addicted.  This is the story of when a child's home life sends them spiralling out of control.  And it's so important for all of us to understand that a kid like Amanda? she had absolutely no-one to help her out of a living hell.

You can find Amanda on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/kickasswithbothfeet/ facebook https://www.facebook.com/amandagoldtattoo

Books that Amanda recommends You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero  . https://amzn.to/3sAL5in.  . The Fear Cure by Lissa Rankin https://amzn.to/39HwdWI.  . The Artists Way by Julia Cameron https://amzn.to/3qAN8kq 

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to [email protected].  I would LOVE! to connect with you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.