This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're talking about DIY!

Ok, we're not but, with all of our references to sanding and painting, we might as well be. We are actually talking about how we need friction to make meaningful bonds and how a glossy finish can get in the way of connection. Because this week we're talking about perfectionism and how it can hold us back.

Exploring toxic positivity, the sense of dissatisfaction we're often sold by the beauty industry, and the impact of social media, this week's conversation uncovers the myths of control and why we shouldn't always believe our eyes.

Emma advocates "perfect moments" while Elizabeth prefers to reject the notion of perfect altogether. Emma tells us about the fateful day she took a cup of coffee into therapy and Elizabeth spills the tea, as usual.

Remember, when you try to be perfect, you can forget to be personal, and we know which we prefer.

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Emma quotes the work of Taibi Kahler on "Drivers": Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script. Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome back, to Season Five of Best Friend Therapy!

We're kicking this season off with a conversation all about co-dependency - what does it mean and why is it a problem?

We chat about how co-dependency shows up in our families, our friendships and our romantic relationships... how we all need someone but why the person we need most is ourselves.

This conversation is a journey from validation to self-validation via the wisdom of Vanderpump Rules and Cilla Black, and even a nod to the potentially co-dependent aspects of our own friendship... Enjoy!

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this season finale of Best Friend Therapy, in which we're talking about something we could all do with a bit more of in life - crone energy and the empowerment it brings.

Far from the Cambridge English dictionary’s definition of a crone as an "ugly, old woman", we are talking about the stage in a woman's life when she reclaims her feminine power and agency, and we chart a journey through the stages of maiden, mother and crone, with a view on women's health, responsibilities and relationships.

Emma tells us how the relationship between responsibilty and influence affects our stress levels, and Elizabeth pitches for "Reclaim the Crone" to be printed on a line of T-shirts.

Stay tuned for the next season of Best Friend Therapy - coming soon!

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Elizabeth references the following book and article in this week's episode (and Emma dutifully includes them in the show notes): https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-ruin-of-all-witches/malcolm-gaskill/9780141991481 and https://croneconfidence.com/2019/10/16/7-signs-you-might-becoming-a-crone/

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week we're talking about those familiar situations, friendships and relationships, in which people take more from us than they give.

We look at the difference between boundaries and demands, and explain why our tolerance for narcissistic traits in other people might wear thin as we get older.

Elizabeth explores why she has a habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and Emma shares how her journey through peri-menopause has helped her separate the wheat from the chaff.

We leave you with some practical advice about how to communicate more authentically and develop better relationships that are less about giving and more about sharing.

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Guilt is a feeling that plagues so many of us that we felt compelled to dedicate an entire episode to it!

Emma explains the difference between authentic guilt and the misplaced guilt we can feel when we turn anger back in on ourselves, and Eizabeth shares 40 things that made her feel guilty in 2021 (and some that still make her feel guilty now!).

We talk about how men and women do guilt differently, how guilt can function as a form of self-preservation, why parental guilt stops us problem-solving effectively and what you should do if you still haven't made that phone call (eek).

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

On Instagram...

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

And on Twitter @bftherapypod

This week's Best Friend Therapy is all about teenagers - the ones we used to be and the ones we need to parent, whether that's now or in the future.

Elizabeth tells us about her late rebellion and Emma explains why we need to help our adolescents learn to put their coats on, even when we tell them to (which will make much more sense when you listen to the episode!).

We look at what's bad behaviour and what's developmentally normative and explore ways to support yourself as a parent and help keep your kids safe - through preparation not prevention.

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're tackling the thorny issue of self-worth, or the lack of it.

Emma explores the difference between self-esteem and "others-esteem" and why we can fall into the trap of outsourcing our sense of self to other people.

Elizabeth compares her self-worth to a solar panel and reveals why chunky socks are a better way to keep warm.

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Emma references the psychoanalytical theory of object relations and the work of Donald Winnicott: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are lucky enough to have an access-all-areas, behind the scenes pass to Elizabeth's brand new book, Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, published by 4th Estate on 30th March 2023.

She tells us why she felt this subject was one she had to write about, how the language of friendship has been lacking so far and left us ill-equipped to set boundaries and evolve our friendships into something more authentic.

Emma talks about the difference between being friendly and being friends, and Elizabeth explains why her previous friendship strategy was all about finding safety in numbers.

Friendaholic explores friendship break-ups, ghosting, the fetishisation of friendship in our culture, the impact of social media and why one size does not fit all. We chat about the masks and mirrors of friendship, why we shouldn't judge a friendship by text turnaround times and why we all have to be responsible for spending our friendship budgets wisely.

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Elizabeth references Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things", the work of Robin Dunbar on friendship numbers and Frederick Nietzsche on stars.

Friendaholic is available to pre-order here: https://amzn.eu/d/7TUbwYG

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are responding to the many requests we've received for a conversation about therapy itself: when to seek therapy, how to find a therapist, how to become a therapist, where to start and what to expect.

Emma shares the path she took from selling perfume to private practice and Elizabeth shares some of her experiences as a client in therapy.

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We reference the work of Windy Dryden and you can read more here: https://www.windydryden.com

Emma trained at the following institutions: The Gestalt Centre https://gestaltcentre.org.uk, Peter Symonds College https://ahed.psc.ac.uk, Metanoia Institute https://www.metanoia.ac.uk
For anyone wanting a taster of Transactional Analysis, The Berne Centre offers a fantastic introductory course: https://theberne.com/ta101---introduction-to-ta

Mind has pulled together this comprehensive resource all about finding a therapist, including how to access NHS services, charities, workplace and educational services and private therapists: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

HIIT therapy sessions with Emma are bookable at emmareedturrell.as.me or for more on her work on people-pleasing, you can get a copy of her book Please Yourself here: https://amzn.eu/d/hiLPoRL

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

TW: Trauma, miscarriage.

Welcome back to season four of Best Friend Therapy!

We wanted to open this new beginning with a conversation about ending because the two go hand in hand and because grief is a subject that touches us all.

It has been one of our most requested topics and we hope we can do it justice, as we discuss aspects of grief such as anticipatory grief, traumatic grief and collective grief, how to support others who are grieving, and how to parent children through loss.

Emma explains the the 'concertina' effect we can feel when past losses catch up with us in the present and Elizabeth shares the stories of people she has interviewed, that have helped her understand how to live alongside loss.

Not only dealing with bereavement, we cover the ending of friendships, the loss that comes with house moves and empty-nest syndrome, to understand how we can make meaning of grief and why its purpose is also positive.

And, if you're grieving right now - know that we see you and you're not alone.

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Elizabeth references these books that she has found to be helpful: "A Heart that Works" by Rob Delaney, "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion, and "After You" by Natascha McElhone.

And you can hear Elizabeth interviewing Mo Gawdat on her podcast How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000436244962

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy