We are physiologically wired to be connected, and people who are insecurely attached (avoidant or anxious) tend to be very self-sufficient. At least that's the impression they give, but once you get beneath their independent exterior, you may find they are just as needy, messy and wanting of help as anyone else.

If you have such a tough exterior, how can anyone else get in? Where is that opportunity for connection? Why do you wear independence like a crown of strength? This perceived self-confidence is not really confidence. Confidence means being comfortable in your body at all times. Remember, how people appear and how they feel can be two totally different things.

When we don't feel safe and fear the emotional vulnerability that comes with asking for help, we call it self-sufficiency and take pride in being Mr. or Ms. Independent. Learn how asking for help or accepting it when it's offered is actually the bravest thing you can do.