Divorce Happens

Nobody warns you that your first Mother's Day after divorce might be the hardest Sunday of your year. You might have your kids — and still feel completely alone. You might be kid-free for the holiday and have absolutely no idea what to do with yourself. You might scroll through social media, watch the flower deliveries and the brunches and the gratitude posts, and feel something you can't quite name — something between grief and relief and guilt all braided together. In this warm, honest, and genuinely helpful episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell opens the conversation with a confession of her own: on her first Mother's Day as a newly divorced woman, her girlfriend sent her flowers. And it was sweet, and she was grateful — and it was also one of the most emotionally awkward days she'd ever had. If you've been there, or you're about to be there, this episode is your company for that day.

To help make sense of it all, Olivia sits down with Dr. Elana Hoffman, a licensed clinical psychologist and divorce coach based in Washington, D.C. Dr. Hoffman runs a fully telehealth practice, working with clients in PSYPACT states across the country, and specializes in the emotional and psychological dimensions of divorce — from contemplating the decision all the way through to rebuilding life on the other side. With the kind of clinical clarity and human warmth that makes hard conversations feel manageable, Dr. Hoffman walks through what makes Mother's Day so uniquely tender for divorced moms: the visibility of other people's families, the absence of a partner to plan the day, the strange loneliness of being the only witness to your own extraordinary effort. She validates that it can feel like grief and like freedom at the same time — and gently reminds listeners that you are allowed to feel exactly what you feel, without performing anything for anyone. Single parent mental health, she reminds us, starts with giving yourself permission.

But this episode doesn't stop at validation — it offers a real mindset shift for divorce recovery and single mom life. Dr. Hoffman's most powerful message is both simple and quietly radical: you don't have to wait for someone else to celebrate you. You can ask your kids what they're grateful for. You can decide the day is just another Sunday — and that's fine. You can build community with friends and family who show up for you, and you can let them. And if this is your first Mother's Day after divorce and it feels impossibly heavy, Dr. Hoffman has three words for you: you are doing great. Single parents hold more than they're ever recognized for. The work they do — the dinners made, the tantrums absorbed, the bedtimes held — happens largely in invisibility. This episode is a reminder that you are seen, you are enough, and the hard days do eventually pass. Monday will come. And you'll still be standing.

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Nobody tells you that divorce can feel like a second puberty. Suddenly, after years of being someone's partner — someone's spouse — you're standing in your own skin again, sometimes for the first time in decades, asking a question you were never really taught to answer: What actually brings me pleasure? In this illuminating, permission-giving episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Myisha Battle, clinical sexologist, certified dating coach, and author of the brand-new book Sexual Pleasure for Dummies. This isn't just a conversation about sex — it's a conversation about reclamation. About what it means to rediscover your own body, your own desires, and your own standards after divorce. Myisha brings equal parts clinical expertise and radical warmth to a topic that most divorce support spaces completely ignore: the connection between sexual self-knowledge and your ability to build a new, fully embodied life after a marriage ends.

What makes Myisha such a revelatory voice in the divorce recovery and dating-after-divorce space is the way she reframes experiences we've been taught to see as losses. She introduces the concept — shared by Olivia's network of divorce professionals — of "cougar puberty": the phase many women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond enter after a major relationship ends, where hormonal shifts, hard-won self-knowledge, and freedom from the pressure of family planning converge into something unexpected and powerful. Where perimenopause is often framed as decline, Myisha insists it can be the beginning of a woman's most liberated, most pleasurable chapter yet. She talks about the women she works with who are energized, curious, and finally ready to explore — women who look back at their earlier selves with compassion and look forward with genuine excitement. Myisha also digs into why so many people — especially women — feel like they're "dummies" about their own pleasure, tracing it back to the shame-based, biology-only sex education most of us received, and the gendered expectations that have quietly shaped our experiences (and our orgasm gaps) ever since.

The conversation closes with something both practical and profound: a roadmap for anyone who wants to start, or restart, their sexual self-education — whether they're newly single, years into co-parenting, or simply ready to stop putting their own pleasure last. Myisha walks listeners through what to expect from her book, from anatomy chapters that treat pleasure as a birthright rather than a bonus, to sections on pain during sex that so many women have silently normalized, to chapters on how to communicate about desire in any relationship, including the one you have with yourself. For divorced women navigating starting over after divorce, dating after divorce, or simply the deeply personal work of figuring out who they are outside of a marriage, this episode is both a permission slip and a practical guide. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to feel good. And you are absolutely allowed to start right now.

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📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a dimension of divorce that nobody warned you about — one that has nothing to do with lawyers or custody schedules or dividing furniture. It goes much deeper than any of that. Divorce goes to the heart of your identity. And when the role you built your life around — wife, partner, the person in that marriage — is suddenly gone, the question that surfaces isn't just "what do I do now?" It's "who am I without this?" In one of the most soulful and quietly transformative episodes of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lisa Lisser — divorce and life transition coach, former litigator, nonprofit leader, spiritual counselor, and holder of two master's degrees — to explore the spiritual dimension of divorce that most people only recognize in hindsight. Lisa has lived it herself, rebuilt herself from it, and now dedicates her practice to helping others do the same: move through divorce while holding onto their soul.

At the center of this conversation is one of the most powerful reframes you will hear on this show: the shift from "role model" to "soul model." Lisa explains that when we define ourselves by our roles — wife, mother, career woman — and one of those roles collapses, we collapse with it. But the soul model is different. It's the thread beneath all the roles, the one anchored in your values rather than your titles. And it is that thread, Lisa argues, that becomes your compass through divorce. She walks through how this plays out in the messiest, most emotionally volatile moments — the impulse to blast your ex on social media, the urge to say the second half of that sentence, the moment you feel like you have to choose between being fierce and being strategic. Her answer is "strategic empathy": the practice of stepping just far enough into your ex's perspective to remove yourself from the fight and redirect your energy toward the outcome you actually want. She also shares a deeply personal story — the time she donated her ex's clothes the night before his ski trip, and the lawyer meeting the next day that did not go her way — as honest, hard evidence that feeling righteous in the moment and serving your long-term interests are not always the same thing.

The most immediately usable tool Lisa offers in this episode is something borrowed from Brené Brown: the SFD, or Shitty First Draft. Write everything you want to say — every angry, hurt, furious word. Get it out. Then don't send it. The energy is released into the universe, the feelings are real and witnessed, and you haven't handed your ex a weapon. Lisa invites her own clients to send those drafts to her — because the goal is always the same: make sure you stay in control of yourself, even when nothing else feels in control. She closes with a reminder that will stay with you long after the episode ends: "If you see it, you can be it." You are not broken. You are searching for purpose and meaning — and that search, she says, is the most spiritual thing a human being can do. This episode is a hand extended across the dark. Take it.

Learn more about Lisa Lisser: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/lzl-coaching

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

You've made the decision. Maybe it took months — maybe it took years. But you've finally arrived at it, and now your brain is telling you: move fast, do something, protect yourself. And that instinct, as understandable as it is, might be the very thing that costs you the most. In this indispensable episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lyerly Spongberg — certified ADR divorce coach, pre-mediation coach, and co-parenting specialist — to walk through the most common and costly mistakes people make in the early stages of the divorce process. Lyerly brings years of front-line coaching experience to a conversation that is equal parts educational and deeply compassionate, pulling back the curtain on why even intelligent, capable people get derailed right at the start — and exactly what to do instead.

The first thing Lyerly wants you to understand is that when the divorce decision finally lands, your nervous system is not your friend. What looks like urgency is often dysregulation — a survival-mode brain that is neurologically incapable of making clear, future-focused decisions. From that dysregulated state, people make the same predictable mistakes: they call the most aggressive attorney they can find, they ask their hairdresser and their college roommate and their coworker what they're "entitled to," and they latch onto other people's divorce settlements as a blueprint for their own. Lyerly dismantles all of it with precision. Every divorce is different, she explains. The laws vary by state. The finances vary by marriage. And perhaps most crucially, the person across from you is not your aunt's ex-husband. What worked — or didn't — in someone else's divorce has almost no bearing on yours. The second major pitfall she unpacks is what she calls the four-letter word of divorce: "fair." Few things derail the early divorce process more reliably than the obsession with getting a fair outcome — and Lyerly reframes it beautifully, shifting the question from "what's fair?" to "what do I actually need, and who do I want to be when this is over?"

What makes this episode truly standout is the humanity Lyerly brings to the hard stuff. She talks about working with women who can't imagine not being a mom 24/7, who have built their entire identity around being the primary caregiver, and who face the co-parenting schedule as one of the most disorienting losses in their entire divorce. She is both honest and hopeful: she has seen enough to know that many of those same women, once the dust settles, find that those solo days look a lot different than they feared. Her practical tools — journaling, exercise, naming your fears so you can find the right expert to address them, breathing exercises before high-stakes meetings, setting firm boundaries with well-meaning friends who make things worse — are immediately usable and grounded in real coaching experience. If you are standing at the very beginning of your divorce and you feel the panic rising, this episode is the steady hand on your shoulder you didn't know you needed. Lyerly's parting message says it all: take one baby step today. That's enough.

Learn more about Lyerly Spongberg: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/step-up-with-lyerly

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

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📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

You were so close. The kids were finally sleeping through the night. You'd found a rhythm at work. You were starting to feel like yourself again — like balance was actually possible. And then divorce happened. And the scales didn't just tip — they crashed. If that sentence made you exhale, this episode is for you. In this conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Amy Pierre-Russo, a work-life harmony coach who has built her entire practice around one radical reframe: stop chasing balance, and start designing for harmony. Because balance, Amy argues, is a trap — a pressure-cooker concept that sets us up to feel like we're always failing. Harmony, on the other hand, is a flow state. It's abundance instead of scarcity. And it's something you can begin to cultivate even in the middle of the most destabilizing season of your life.

What Amy brings to this conversation is both clarity and compassion for what divorce actually does to a person's sense of self and direction. She talks about what happens when an unexpected life event — divorce, job loss, a new baby — strips away the systems you had built and leaves you scrambling to figure out what you even want anymore. Her answer is not to grind harder. It's to get small and get clear. She guides her clients to start with just 10% — 10% closer to the version of their life when they felt most supported, most connected, most themselves. She also opens up an often-overlooked dimension of divorce recovery: the community loss. When a marriage ends, it's not just a partner you lose. It's friendships. Social circles. Decade-long relationships. And rebuilding that web of connection — intentionally, even with limited time and energy — is one of the most essential and underrated parts of starting over after divorce.

The most quietly powerful moment of this episode is when Amy names something that so many women navigating divorce quietly feel but rarely say out loud: the fear of getting swept up in somebody else's plan for you. Her tools — breathwork between hard meetings, reflective journaling, visioning the future life you actually want — are all oriented around the same north star: making sure you stay the author of your own story, even when the plot has gone completely off-script. She closes with five words that land like a hand on the shoulder: "You are worthy of this." Worthy of the harmony. Worthy of the life you're designing. Worthy of support. If you are in the middle of divorce chaos and can't see the other side, this episode is a reminder that harmony isn't something you achieve once the dust settles. It's something you can begin — right now, in small steps — from exactly where you are.

Learn more about Amy: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/amy-pierre-russo-coaching

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

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🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody tells you that pregnancy can be the moment everything becomes clear. Not the nursery colors or the baby name — but something far bigger, far more quietly devastating: the realization that the relationship you're in is not the one you want to raise a child inside of. In this profound episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Dr. Gertrude Lyons — author, life coach, podcast host, retreat facilitator, and the powerhouse behind the book Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust — to explore one of the most taboo intersections in modern womanhood: divorce during pregnancy or in the postpartum period. Dr. Lyons has worked with women at every stage of this threshold and brings both clinical depth and soulful clarity to a conversation that has the potential to crack your heart open and set it free at the same time.

What makes this episode so extraordinary is the reframe Dr. Lyons offers around what she calls "the double threshold" — the understanding that when you become a mother, you don't just birth a child. You birth a new version of yourself. Add divorce to that equation, and yes, the weight is immense. But Dr. Lyons makes a radical and deeply compassionate case: this is actually the ripest moment for transformation. When we are raw, open, hormonally and emotionally stripped to our foundations, we are also the most available we will ever be to do the real work of becoming. She speaks directly to the thousands of years of patriarchal wiring that makes a pregnant woman leaving her partner feel shocking — when in reality, Dr. Lyons argues, the more evolved response is: thank god she figured that out now. Let's rally behind her. Her framework, the "PACT" — Patience, Affirmation, Compassion, and Trust — offers something every woman navigating divorce, single motherhood, or major life transition can carry with her like a compass.

Dr. Lyons also introduces one of the most quietly revolutionary ideas in Rewrite the Mother Code: that we are always rewriting our mother code. Whether you are navigating postpartum divorce, newly separated, rebuilding as a single mom, or simply stepping into a new chapter of yourself, the invitation is the same — go inside, get clear on what you value and what you desire, and let that be your rudder. Olivia shares her own emotional aha moment: that becoming a single mother required her to rewrite her mother code entirely, a realization she describes as "spiritual." If you have ever wondered whether you are allowed to want something different for yourself during one of the most vulnerable seasons of your life — this episode is the answer. You are not falling apart. You are in the middle of becoming. And Dr. Gertrude Lyons is here to hold you through it.

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

When you're going through a divorce, the world doesn't stop spinning — but it can feel like everyone else's resources did. Therapy is expensive. Childcare is exhausting and often unaffordable. And the practical realities of building a new life on one income, while co-parenting, grieving, and showing up for your kids, can feel completely overwhelming. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Joy Read, co-founder of the National Association for Single and Divorced Families (NASDF) — a nonprofit membership organization built from the ground up to close the resource gap for families navigating divorce and single parenthood. Joy and her co-founder Ron modeled NASDF after AARP: a bundled benefits platform that gives members access to real, practical support — mental health care, child education discounts, financial advisors, mediators, and more — all for just $19 a month.

What Joy brings to this conversation is more than organizational expertise — it's personal conviction rooted in watching women she knows leave jobs because daycare was too expensive, then find themselves suddenly divorced with no financial runway. The mental health benefit alone is a game-changer: NASDF members can access free therapy sessions through Rikiro, a national telehealth platform, and Joy's vision is to expand that to up to eight free sessions per presenting condition — meaning a member struggling with both anxiety and depression could access sixteen free sessions for themselves, and more for their children. In a world where therapy routinely falls off the self-care list because it's simply unaffordable, NASDF is quietly building infrastructure to make it non-negotiable. Other benefits include 10% off tuition and priority registration through Learning Care Group, discounts on technology, school supplies, and even a mechanic hotline — everything a single parent scrambling to keep the household running actually needs.

At its heart, this episode is about one radical idea: that single and divorced families deserve a seat at the advocacy table. Joy talks about NASDF's 501(c) nonprofit arm and their long-term mission to combat intergenerational poverty through two-generation programming — addressing the needs of both parent and child simultaneously. She closes with words that feel like a gift: "Grief comes in waves. When one knocks you down, just wait. When it recedes, stand up, gather your breath, and know that none of it is going to drown you." If you are in the thick of divorce recovery, overwhelmed by single parenting, and wondering how other people are affording their lives right now — this episode is the answer you've been looking for. And the best part? It only costs $19 a month to get started at nasdf.org.

Lean more and sign up here: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/national-association-for-single-and-divorced-families-nasdforg

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody hands you a rulebook when your marriage ends and you suddenly have to figure out how to parent from two separate addresses. The paperwork gets signed, the boxes get packed, the kids start splitting their weeks between two homes — and then it's Tuesday night and someone's crying over forgotten homework, and you realize the hardest part was never the divorce itself. It was everything that comes after. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Nora Marcus, a licensed social worker, co-parenting specialist, and divorce mediator who works with families across all 50 states — a professional, as she puts it, "who is holding your hand all the way." Nora brings a rare combination of clinical grounding and radical honesty to the conversation, refusing to sugarcoat what the post-divorce parenting journey actually looks like — because, as she reminds us, it's always dinner time. Someone is always hungry, there's always a school project, and your nervous system doesn't get a day off just because the papers are filed.

At the heart of this conversation is a reframe that every co-parenting parent needs to hear: your children are 50% their other parent. Which means every time you speak badly about your ex — even to your most well-meaning friends — your kids internalize that as something broken inside themselves. Nora doesn't just tell us to stop the trash talk; she invites us to go further, to actively build up our co-parent in front of our children, not as a favor to an ex we may still be angry with, but as an act of love for our kids' developing identity and self-worth. She also speaks candidly about the strange emotional terrain of showing up at a soccer game with someone you used to share a bed with, validating that the awkwardness isn't a problem to be solved — it's just part of the messy, human reality of divorce. And she offers a crucial reminder: pay attention to who you're calling when you need to vent. The people who love you most are sometimes the ones most likely to activate you, and activation is the last thing a co-parenting parent needs in a vulnerable moment.

What listeners will walk away with from this episode isn't a tidy five-step plan — it's something more honest and more useful than that. It's the permission to move slowly, to take small steps, to celebrate the fact that you made it through your first holiday without your kids or that you kept showing up even on the days you had nothing left. Nora's framework for post-divorce recovery centers on awareness, acceptance, and building the right team around you — whether that's a co-parenting mediator, a therapist, or simply a friend who knows when to cheer you on instead of pour fuel on the fire. She works with clients during divorce, through mediation and parenting plan development, and long after — because divorce isn't a singular event when children are involved; it's a lifelong relationship that evolves through graduations, college drop-offs, and co-grandparenting. For anyone navigating co-parenting after divorce, managing single parent mental health, or simply trying to figure out how to live a full life while raising children across two households — this episode is the steady, grounded voice you didn't know you needed.

Learn more about Nora Marcus: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/nora-marcus-consulting

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What if you didn’t have to figure out divorce alone?

In this episode of Divorce Happens, we’re talking about one of the most supportive (and most underutilized) resources available to you: a free 15-minute Divorce Resource Consult with Olivia Howell, co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry.

Whether you’re quietly wondering if divorce might be the right next step, actively navigating the process, or rebuilding your life on the other side, this consult is designed to meet you exactly where you are. No pressure. No expectations. Just real support.

During your session, Olivia will listen, help you get clear on what you need, and connect you with trusted, vetted experts—from therapists and lawyers to financial professionals, coaches, and more. Think of it as a starting point when you don’t know where to start.

This is not about being told what to do.

It’s about being supported as you figure out what’s right for you.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• What a Divorce Resource Consult actually is (and what it’s not)
• How Olivia helps you identify the right experts and resources for your situation
• The different phases of divorce support: pre-consideration, considering, in-process, and post-divorce
• Why having a “starting point” can make all the difference
• What makes this consult safe, confidential, and judgment-free

How It Works:

• 15-minute one-on-one consult with Olivia Howell
• Held via Zoom (camera optional)
• Completely free, with no strings attached
• Focused on support, clarity, and connection

Olivia Howell is a certified life and divorce coach, co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, and a leading voice in redefining how we support people through divorce. Her work centers on making the process more humane, accessible, and connected—so no one has to navigate it alone.

Divorce can feel overwhelming because there are so many decisions, so many unknowns, and often no clear roadmap. This consult exists to change that—to give you a moment to pause, ask questions, and get connected to the support you deserve.

Ready to Take the First Step? You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start.

👉 Book your free consult here: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/consult

If this episode helped you feel even a little more supported, we’d love for you to subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people who need to hear this.

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this final episode of Divorce 101 A to Z from the Divorce Happens podcast, Olivia Howell explores zero-sum thinking, a mindset that frames divorce as a win-lose battle instead of a restructuring of life and family systems. Brought to you by the letter Z and the number 0, this episode explains why divorce does not need a scoreboard — and how releasing zero-sum beliefs can reduce conflict, guilt, and emotional exhaustion.

Listeners learn how zero-sum thinking shows up in negotiations, parenting decisions, and financial discussions, and how shifting away from this mindset supports healthier outcomes for adults and children alike. Olivia also offers a grounding reflection to help listeners identify and release one belief that keeps them stuck in a win-lose framework.

This episode is ideal for anyone navigating divorce, co-parenting, mediation, or emotional healing after separation.

🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry

🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/

📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/