Doing It At Home - The Home Birth Podcast

In today's episode we talk about 6 comments and questions that you absolutely don't want to say to a home birth mom or family! We heard these things as we prepared for our home birth and can say from experience that they are not helpful at all.

Some things are better left unsaid, and that applies to commentary on someone’s decision to have a home birth.

In this episode we share 6 big statement/topics to avoid when you’re talking to a mom who’s planning a homebirth. While they may be well-intentioned, these are the things that don’t help the process.

And if you are a home birth mom, we talk about ways to address these comments and how you can deflect them like Neo with those slow motion bullets in the Matrix.

Let’s leave the fear and judgement out of it. Because we all know birth could use less of that.

So steer away from these 6 things, please. And if you must comment then simply tell the mom how much of a badass she is! (that'll win you some brownie points)

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Continuing our work to bring real and honest stories of home birth to you, we sat down with Debbie Schneider, CPM extraordinaire.

Debbie is actually our midwife! She delivered Maya, and has become a very important part of our lives.

We’ve known we wanted to interview Debbie since we started the podcast. She’s an amazing and wise source of information and support of all things home birth.

Her story in becoming a midwife is an inspiring one, deciding to shift into her life’s passion at 44. Now 18 years later and some 700 births attended, Debbie talks about “normalizing birth again,” that is, putting it back in the hands of mothers and families to choose the birth plan that aligns best with them.

We could’ve talked with Debbie all day, but for the sake of time, we kept it to about an hour. And you won’t want to miss one minute of it. You’ll get some of the history of home birth, obstetrics’ attempts to “make birth more efficient,” and the differences in the experiences of home and the typical hospital birth.

Here are some of the resources Debbie mentions in the episode:

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In this episode we're talking with mom of 4 Jenny DiPietro, who has had multiple home births, a home birth turned hospital transfer, a water birth at home, and who performs placenta encapsulation for families. We get into a lot in this one! 

Oh yeah, and we’re also entering a new phase of the podcast!

In addition to our episodes that feature Matthew and me discussing some topic related to home birth, we’re publishing our conversations with moms and families who have experienced home birth along with professionals and thought leaders on the subject.

First to kick off this endeavor is our chat with Jenny DiPietro. Jenny is a mom of 4, who has experienced both home and hospital birth.

In our talk, we cover things like:

We’re very excited to bring other stories and perspectives of homebirth to you. Enjoy! 

For more on Jenny and her work, you can check her out on her website here.

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In today’s episode we address the question, “Is home birth messy?”

It's a great question that I know crossed my mind once or twice during pregnancy, because let's be honest, many depictions of birth insinuate that it can require lots of cleanup.

But here’s the truth on mess during a homebirth: yes there are parts of it that can be messy (as I’m sure you can imagine fluids can go everywhere), but you do not have to make a mess while giving birth at home. I repeat, you do NOT have to walk away from your home birth with your house looking like a crime scene. With the right supplies, preparation, and team, you can have a completely comfortable, mess free home birth. I guarantee it!

Listen as we share tips to keep your home birth as mess free as possible, give you a list of the things you’ll want to have on hand and set up before hand to ensure your birth is as pleasant as possible. 

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Today’s episode was inspired by a listener email. Leonie, listening all the way in Australia, reached out to share her birth story.

She had planned for a minimal intervention birth in a midwife led public hospital program (way to go Australis!) but things didn’t go exactly as anticipated. Her email was amazing - raw, honest and transparent - and at the end she had a few questions for me about home birth, my connection to Maya, and more.

So when we received this email we knew we wanted to record an episode with our response.

Leonie, and every mom and family out there with similar stories and questions, this one is for you!

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A lot goes into creating a badass and powerful team. You want a team that works together and has synergy. You want individual members who can hold their own yet contribute to the totality of the group. You want to be able to trust everyone’s competence and commitment to the overall goal. These teams win championships, seal the deals, and set the example for all other teams.

Now when it comes to choosing your team for your home birth, how do you go about creating the ultimate, most awesome group of people to support you in such an amazing, magical experience?

That’s exactly what Matthew and I talk about in this episode. Maybe you haven’t even thought about having a birth team and this is a new concept for you. We’re here to help give some context around it.

We share our experience of selecting the members of our home birth team - our thought process in how we chose them and why, the vision we had in mind for the people who would be involved, the roles they played and how they contributed to the whole experience.

It takes a village to raise a child, so why not recruit the best team possible to usher him/her into the world?

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In this episode, I invite you into a precious and intimate moment.

You see, during the early parts of birthing time (labor), we placed a recorder in the room - to capture the experience and be able to listen back to it later on.

While I was moving through my birthing waves (contractions) in the bathtub, Matthew tended to me by bringing me water and snacks along with affirming me and contacting our midwife with updates.

I would later find out that during one of the times Matthew left the room, he took the recorder with him. And he would then record one of the most amazing pieces of audio I’ve ever listened to.

A few days later, he shared the recording with me. And now I’m sharing it with all of you, along with my response to it.

Why am I choosing to let you in on this? Because I think it’s important to hear about the magic of this experience. Because by sharing this, it creates the opportunity for its impact to be magnified by anyone who might hear it and be influenced.

I want women and their partners to feel empowered and inspired to create their own magical and intimate moments - in birth and beyond.

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I had always heard pregnancy can be a vulnerable time. You’re dealing with a lot of changes - physically and emotionally. Not to mention, the more pregnant you become, the more obvious your circumstance is to anyone who lays eyes on you.

And for some reason, actually lots of reasons - there’s something about a big, beautiful belly that attracts a lot of attention.

There comes a time when you can’t walk through the grocery store without being approached with a question or comment on your pregnancy. It’s kinda like a weird form of celebrity. And while some of it is sweet and affirming, others make for an uncomfortable encounter.

Like the unsolicited advice and opinions. I actually had a woman in a restaurant apologize to me when I told her I was having a girl.

Oh, and then there are those who take it a step further and feel compelled to touch your belly. Yep, that happened.

So how do you respond to these people who test your patience and tempt you to kick them in the shins? For me, it involved a lot of deep, intentional breathing.

Listen to more of our story on traversing the challenges of unsolicited comments and advice on pregnancy and birth from the strangers of the world.

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This is it, folks! The episode you’ve all been waiting for….our birth story!

Matthew and I sit down (in bed, as always) with our first guest - less than a week old baby Maya. She lies quietly (for the most part, you might hear some coos and little grunts in the background at times) on Matthew’s chest while we recount the story of our home birth, while it’s still fresh in our minds.

We take you from the beginning of the birthing waves (contractions) when they started late Saturday night, all the way to delivery. It just so happens that the night it all started was a special date night, and one that we’re sure to remember forever. I purchased tickets to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra performing music by the famous composer John Williams earlier in the year as a Father’s Day present for Matthew. Its date being a precarious one (close to our due date), we weren’t sure if we’d end up going. Turns out that Maya must’ve known, and was waiting for us to have this special time together before her arrival.

It would be a couple of hours and attempts to sleep the discomfort off that I would realize I was in active labor. I spent this time in our bathtub, listening to Hypnobabies while Matthew sat with me, made me a PB&J and kept me hydrated.

Over the next few hours our birth team, which included a midwife and 2 apprentices, as well as 5 close family members, arrived and assumed their roles of supporting myself and Matthew.

I labored for the majority of the time in the giant kiddie blow up pool and eventually delivered on what the midwives refer to as the “birthing stool.”

I won’t give all the fun details away. You’ll hear all of that in the episode. But let’s just say it was intense, intimate, spiritual and magical. The whole event was 12 hours total, exactly the amount of time I envisioned when I mentally planned the birth experience.

There were a lot of tears, a fair amount of blood, some laughs and so much love. So join us from our bedroom - where we made our baby, birthed her and are now hanging out with her and talking about the whole darn thing.

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“We are not a culture that waits for anything, nor are we believers in normal birth; waiting for a baby can feel like insanity.”

This is a powerful quote from an article that had a profound impact on Matthew and me.

The article is about the “in between” stage of the last days of pregnancy before moving into birth, a period that the author of the article calls zwischen (pulling from the German word for “between” - fitting huh?). You can find the article here: https://www.mothering.com/threads/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between.1619798/

In this episode, Matthew and I talk about our own experience with the “between,” being that we are technically past our “due date.” We share how this is a beautiful time to practice patience, surrender, and enjoy the moments that we have together before moving into the roles of parents for the first time. We also acknowledge, however, that it can seem excruciating - like you’re walking around waiting for a timer to go off that you really have no control or knowledge of its plans.

We share some examples of things and situations that have helped us stay patient and present, as well as things that have driven us a little nutty. All in preparation for our magical home birth and days to follow it.

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