UNDERSTANDABLE

E251 - LIMERENCE: The Link of Romantic Obsession, Attachment & Childhood Trauma


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"Limerence is like being a lost puppy, begging any stranger to love you enough to undo the past's lack of connection."

I found this comment on YouTube and nearly 6000 people can’t be wrong.

Limerence doesn’t mean love. It means non-stop obsessing about someone you often barely know.

And this - is not healthy. It’s rooted in early trauma and insecure attachment pattern s.

This link between childhood trauma, attachment wounds and romantic obsession is so valuable to understand and this is why we will uncover it in this video.

Furthermore, I will also show you how you can distinguish between limerence and real connecting feelings and I share an approach with you, what you can do to resolve & stop obsessive infatuation once you’re in such a situation.



► Links and Resources:

Cycle of Toxic Shame Episode: https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=V5qLjXHy-XBi5hCq

Codependency Episode: https://youtu.be/OSeR88YWwhU?si=tmybOcvMqeXBrPwr




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► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:01 Understanding Limerence

04:12 Signs Of Limerence

06:03 Limerence And Attachment

13:33 Limerence And Childhood Trauma

23:37 Limerence Or True Connecting Feeling?

23:51 Distinction 1: Limerence Appears In Your Head, Connection & Sexual Desire Appear In Your Body

25:10 Distinction 2: It’s Limerence When You Fantasize About Someone When You Are Alone, Instead Of Spending Real Time With Them

25:59 Distinction 3: Limerence Disappears As Quickly As It Came

27:39 Distinction 4: Limerence Is More Intense Than A Crush And Has An Obsessive Character

29:04 Solutions



► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]


► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)


► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.


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UNDERSTANDABLEBy Robert Siegers

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