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If your relationships look like this: One moment you're deeply connected — the next, you're pulling away and don't want any contact with that person.
Or you have the feeling that you are somehow addicted and dependent on another person.
This isn’t just drama.
But it’s the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding — a pattern that’s especially common if you grew up with chaos, neglect, or emotional unpredictability.
In this video, we’ll explore why love can feel like a roller coaster
How all this is linked to an anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style
Which role narcissistic abuse plays in all of that
and how to finally break free from the chaos… to master real, secure connection — even if you never saw that growing up.
► Links and Resources:
10 Signs of a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=Hakj_BVayQasc134
Intermittent Reinforcement Article: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog/stuck-in-a-toxic-cycle-this-psychological-pattern-might-be-why
Trauma Bonding Video By Tim Fletcher: https://www.youtube.com/live/xIf4uJ94r3o?si=4C1KYflrBZs_dxtM
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:02 What is Trauma Bonding?
04:33 How Childhood Trauma Creates This Pattern
07:06 The Role of The Narcissist
09:47 Challenges in Breaking Free
11:48 How To Rebuild Healthy Relationships After a Chaotic Childhood
12:00 Step 1: Clarity For The Trauma-Bond
13:05 Step 2: Get Away From Any Toxic Relationship
13:53 Step 3: Understand What A "Healthy" Partner Is
15:07 Step 4: Find The Right People For You Healing
16:00 Step 5: Dance The Connection/Autonomy Dance
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
By Robert Siegers5
22 ratings
► Start Our Premium Course Trial:
https://understandable.net/ (Ad)
► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:
https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)
If your relationships look like this: One moment you're deeply connected — the next, you're pulling away and don't want any contact with that person.
Or you have the feeling that you are somehow addicted and dependent on another person.
This isn’t just drama.
But it’s the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding — a pattern that’s especially common if you grew up with chaos, neglect, or emotional unpredictability.
In this video, we’ll explore why love can feel like a roller coaster
How all this is linked to an anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style
Which role narcissistic abuse plays in all of that
and how to finally break free from the chaos… to master real, secure connection — even if you never saw that growing up.
► Links and Resources:
10 Signs of a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=Hakj_BVayQasc134
Intermittent Reinforcement Article: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog/stuck-in-a-toxic-cycle-this-psychological-pattern-might-be-why
Trauma Bonding Video By Tim Fletcher: https://www.youtube.com/live/xIf4uJ94r3o?si=4C1KYflrBZs_dxtM
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music:
https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:02 What is Trauma Bonding?
04:33 How Childhood Trauma Creates This Pattern
07:06 The Role of The Narcissist
09:47 Challenges in Breaking Free
11:48 How To Rebuild Healthy Relationships After a Chaotic Childhood
12:00 Step 1: Clarity For The Trauma-Bond
13:05 Step 2: Get Away From Any Toxic Relationship
13:53 Step 3: Understand What A "Healthy" Partner Is
15:07 Step 4: Find The Right People For You Healing
16:00 Step 5: Dance The Connection/Autonomy Dance
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]
► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.
My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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