What do you do with the story of your abuse?

Who do you tell?  What do you tell them? 

You will find yourself in many different situations with many different people where you will need to share the same story of your narcissistic abuse over and over again and it is actually important to make a conscious decision on how and what you are sharing with the different people.

Today we are going to talk about discernment, specifically about sharing your story.  But the strategies here can generalize to many other areas where you need to make conscious and intentional decisions.

Early on in your healing…

You likely look like a hot mess, you are learning the language, learning the systems, it is likely that you do not fully understand what you are in for with post separation abuse and the family court system…

You probably show up in one of two ways,

Word vomit/fire hydrant of info… context for days, looking like a crazy person
Shut down, not trusting, fearful

Both make sense.

Now that you have some psycho ed under your belt and hopefully have done some healing work with a therapist or in a group…

Use these questions to assess who and what you will share about your abuse story?

What is the role of the person you are talking to?
What is the goal you hope to achieve?
What evidence do you have that this person will listen/understand?
Where are you in this moment?
How safe will the information be?

Once you have asked these questions, then you can make decisions and some discernment about how much and what to share.

And if you have the calling to do advocacy work, write a book, or speak in public about your story, there are some other considerations you need to consider.

Episode References:
Episode 74: Leveraging your Experience with your Family Court Evaluator with Courtney Gilmartin

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