The holidays are coming and guess who always seems to ruin them?

That’s right, your narcissistic partner or ex partner.  Whether you are still with your abusive partner or you are separated, special occasions are a great time and place for them to cause chaos.

Think back to all of the important events and holidays that you shared with your ex partner and see how many of them were ruined or sabotaged in some way by your narcissistic partner.

Why do they ruin these special moments?

The event is not about them and they need to remind you of this or make it all about themselves
The special occasion is important to you and they have the power to ruin it for you or hang it over your head so that you’ll do what they want you to do
People will be watching and they want to present as the perfect couple or family.  This can cause so much stress because the consequences of not being perfect can be brutal.

So, what are some things you can do to mitigate all of the ways that they will try to ruin the upcoming holidays?

• Check and clarify your current parenting plan or court orders
• Have a plan A, B, C and maybe even D
• Change your mindset on the importance of celebrating on a specific day
• Focus on connection and traditions with your children, which is what they are more likely to remember than the fancy party or expensive gift
• Help prepare your extended family (and maybe prepare for your family if you have difficult relationships)
• Take care of yourself any moment you have the chance.
• Turn off your parenting app notifications!

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