If I could sit across from the woman I was back then, these are the 20 things I would tell her.

In this episode of Why She Stayed, I reflect on my own experience of coercive control and share the lessons I wish someone had taught me while I was still living inside the confusion.

In this episode, we unpack topics like:

• Why I found myself doing things that looked “sketchy” from the outside- like deleting text messages with friends and family- and how those behaviors were adaptations to coercive control.
• What an abuser is often trying to accomplish when he repeatedly says, “I would never hit a woman,” and why that statement can become part of a much larger manipulation strategy.
• How an abuser will say "this is just their personality" as a way to avoid accountability.
• Why constantly breaking up with you and pulling you back in is a powerful form of intermittent reinforcement that can create an addictive trauma bond.
• The hidden psychological dynamics that make intelligent, capable women stay in relationships they never imagined they’d tolerate.
• And 20 hard truths I wish I had understood years earlier.

Whether you’re currently questioning your own relationship, trying to make sense of one you’ve already left, or supporting someone you love, this episode will help you understand coercive control in a way that goes far beyond the stereotypes of abuse.

Grace's Instagram: @gracee__elizabethh

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