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When you’ve lived through emotional abuse, the very idea of a healthy, loving relationship can feel like a fantasy. Maybe you’ve never experienced respect, true friendship, or kindness in a partner. Maybe you’ve been told—through words or through wounds—that love is supposed to be hard, painful, or disappointing. And maybe you secretly believe that happy marriages are reserved for other people, not for you.

That’s exactly why I invited Michelle W. Lentz, author of Hey Beginner Wife, onto the podcast. In our conversation, Michelle shares how seeing herself as a “beginner” allowed her to give herself grace as a wife and grow into a marriage built on nearly four decades of trust, respect, and friendship. Together, we unpack what these qualities really look like in a healthy marriage—and how they stand in sharp contrast to the confusion and chaos of abuse.

This episode isn’t about sugarcoating relationships. It’s about hope. It’s about proof that love rooted in respect and safety is real, and it’s possible—even if you’ve never known it before. And Michelle leaves us with a special nugget of truth at the end that I know will stay with you long after the episode is over.

If you’ve ever felt jaded, broken, or too damaged to hope again, this conversation is your reminder: the kind of love you long for does exist—and you are worthy of it.  

Michelle Lentz graduated from UCLA with a degree in English Literature. Using her happy marriage of nearly 40 years as an example, she writes to inspire women to learn from her mistakes, love their husbands well and enjoy marriage. When she's not cheering on her husband Steve, their six grown children and a growing troop of delightful grandchildren, she's curled up with a good book, pursuing a deep conversation, or looking forward to the next wedding so she can hit the dance floor. You can also find her on Instagram at @heybeginnerwife.

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*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)