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Episode 51 | The High Cost of Low Standards
Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.
Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.
Episode 51 – The High Cost of Low Standards
In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores a truth most of us don’t want to admit but absolutely need to hear: settling for less than we deserve in our romantic lives doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it impacts us psychologically, physically, and even spiritually. “The High Cost of Low Standards” isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t check every box. It’s about the real toll relational self-abandonment takes on our nervous system, our self-worth, and our ability to thrive.
Dr. Hensley dives into the science of relational trauma, sharing how repeatedly tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability can lead to chronic stress responses in the body. Elevated cortisol, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune flare-ups are common for clients who’ve lived for years in relationships that keep them in a perpetual state of anxiety. You’ll hear relatable examples from both host who developed digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and chronic fatigue—all stemming from the emotional labor of loving someone who wasn’t loving them back. Both of them still struggling after almost ten years of deep dived healing work. Research from the fields of psychoneuroimmunology and attachment science backs this up: unhealthy relationships literally make us sick.
Dr. Hensley breaks down how unresolved attachment wounds, particularly from childhood, can subconsciously condition us to lower the bar and internalize the belief that bare minimum is all we’re worthy of. She speaks candidly about how early templates of love—whether from an emotionally immature parent or a chaotic home environment—can train our nervous systems to find familiarity in dysfunction. And when we don’t heal those internal blueprints, we keep recreating them in adult partnerships, confusing chaos for chemistry and silence for safety.
As always, Dr. Hensley ends with both compassion and a call to action. You are never stuck. Your nervous system may be wired for survival, but it can be rewired for secure love. You can raise your standards without fear of losing connection—because what’s truly meant for you won’t be threatened by your growth. Whether you’ve been chronically undervalued or simply unsure how to ask for more, this episode will remind you: it’s not too late to choose better. Healing is available, and so is the kind of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.
PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.
Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching
Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching
Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses
Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley
Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc
Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.
Episode 51 – The High Cost of Low Standards
In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores a truth most of us don’t want to admit but absolutely need to hear: settling for less than we deserve in our romantic lives doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it impacts us psychologically, physically, and even spiritually. “The High Cost of Low Standards” isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t check every box. It’s about the real toll relational self-abandonment takes on our nervous system, our self-worth, and our ability to thrive.
Dr. Hensley dives into the science of relational trauma, sharing how repeatedly tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability can lead to chronic stress responses in the body. Elevated cortisol, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune flare-ups are common for clients who’ve lived for years in relationships that keep them in a perpetual state of anxiety. You’ll hear relatable examples from both host who developed digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and chronic fatigue—all stemming from the emotional labor of loving someone who wasn’t loving them back. Both of them still struggling after almost ten years of deep dived healing work. Research from the fields of psychoneuroimmunology and attachment science backs this up: unhealthy relationships literally make us sick.
Dr. Hensley breaks down how unresolved attachment wounds, particularly from childhood, can subconsciously condition us to lower the bar and internalize the belief that bare minimum is all we’re worthy of. She speaks candidly about how early templates of love—whether from an emotionally immature parent or a chaotic home environment—can train our nervous systems to find familiarity in dysfunction. And when we don’t heal those internal blueprints, we keep recreating them in adult partnerships, confusing chaos for chemistry and silence for safety.
As always, Dr. Hensley ends with both compassion and a call to action. You are never stuck. Your nervous system may be wired for survival, but it can be rewired for secure love. You can raise your standards without fear of losing connection—because what’s truly meant for you won’t be threatened by your growth. Whether you’ve been chronically undervalued or simply unsure how to ask for more, this episode will remind you: it’s not too late to choose better. Healing is available, and so is the kind of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.
PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.
Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching
Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching
Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses
Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley
Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc
Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
View all episodes
By Dr. Sarah Hensley
4.5
130130 ratings
Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.
Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.
Episode 51 – The High Cost of Low Standards
In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores a truth most of us don’t want to admit but absolutely need to hear: settling for less than we deserve in our romantic lives doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it impacts us psychologically, physically, and even spiritually. “The High Cost of Low Standards” isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t check every box. It’s about the real toll relational self-abandonment takes on our nervous system, our self-worth, and our ability to thrive.
Dr. Hensley dives into the science of relational trauma, sharing how repeatedly tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability can lead to chronic stress responses in the body. Elevated cortisol, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune flare-ups are common for clients who’ve lived for years in relationships that keep them in a perpetual state of anxiety. You’ll hear relatable examples from both host who developed digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and chronic fatigue—all stemming from the emotional labor of loving someone who wasn’t loving them back. Both of them still struggling after almost ten years of deep dived healing work. Research from the fields of psychoneuroimmunology and attachment science backs this up: unhealthy relationships literally make us sick.
Dr. Hensley breaks down how unresolved attachment wounds, particularly from childhood, can subconsciously condition us to lower the bar and internalize the belief that bare minimum is all we’re worthy of. She speaks candidly about how early templates of love—whether from an emotionally immature parent or a chaotic home environment—can train our nervous systems to find familiarity in dysfunction. And when we don’t heal those internal blueprints, we keep recreating them in adult partnerships, confusing chaos for chemistry and silence for safety.
As always, Dr. Hensley ends with both compassion and a call to action. You are never stuck. Your nervous system may be wired for survival, but it can be rewired for secure love. You can raise your standards without fear of losing connection—because what’s truly meant for you won’t be threatened by your growth. Whether you’ve been chronically undervalued or simply unsure how to ask for more, this episode will remind you: it’s not too late to choose better. Healing is available, and so is the kind of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.
PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.
Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching
Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching
Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses
Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley
Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc
Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.
Episode 51 – The High Cost of Low Standards
In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores a truth most of us don’t want to admit but absolutely need to hear: settling for less than we deserve in our romantic lives doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it impacts us psychologically, physically, and even spiritually. “The High Cost of Low Standards” isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t check every box. It’s about the real toll relational self-abandonment takes on our nervous system, our self-worth, and our ability to thrive.
Dr. Hensley dives into the science of relational trauma, sharing how repeatedly tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability can lead to chronic stress responses in the body. Elevated cortisol, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune flare-ups are common for clients who’ve lived for years in relationships that keep them in a perpetual state of anxiety. You’ll hear relatable examples from both host who developed digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and chronic fatigue—all stemming from the emotional labor of loving someone who wasn’t loving them back. Both of them still struggling after almost ten years of deep dived healing work. Research from the fields of psychoneuroimmunology and attachment science backs this up: unhealthy relationships literally make us sick.
Dr. Hensley breaks down how unresolved attachment wounds, particularly from childhood, can subconsciously condition us to lower the bar and internalize the belief that bare minimum is all we’re worthy of. She speaks candidly about how early templates of love—whether from an emotionally immature parent or a chaotic home environment—can train our nervous systems to find familiarity in dysfunction. And when we don’t heal those internal blueprints, we keep recreating them in adult partnerships, confusing chaos for chemistry and silence for safety.
As always, Dr. Hensley ends with both compassion and a call to action. You are never stuck. Your nervous system may be wired for survival, but it can be rewired for secure love. You can raise your standards without fear of losing connection—because what’s truly meant for you won’t be threatened by your growth. Whether you’ve been chronically undervalued or simply unsure how to ask for more, this episode will remind you: it’s not too late to choose better. Healing is available, and so is the kind of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.
PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.
Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching
Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching
Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses
Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley
Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc
Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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