Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 51 – The High Cost of Low Standards

In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores a truth most of us don’t want to admit but absolutely need to hear: settling for less than we deserve in our romantic lives doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it impacts us psychologically, physically, and even spiritually. “The High Cost of Low Standards” isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t check every box. It’s about the real toll relational self-abandonment takes on our nervous system, our self-worth, and our ability to thrive.

Dr. Hensley dives into the science of relational trauma, sharing how repeatedly tolerating disrespect, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability can lead to chronic stress responses in the body. Elevated cortisol, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune flare-ups are common for clients who’ve lived for years in relationships that keep them in a perpetual state of anxiety. You’ll hear relatable examples from both host who developed digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and chronic fatigue—all stemming from the emotional labor of loving someone who wasn’t loving them back. Both of them still struggling after almost ten years of deep dived healing work. Research from the fields of psychoneuroimmunology and attachment science backs this up: unhealthy relationships literally make us sick.

Dr. Hensley breaks down how unresolved attachment wounds, particularly from childhood, can subconsciously condition us to lower the bar and internalize the belief that bare minimum is all we’re worthy of. She speaks candidly about how early templates of love—whether from an emotionally immature parent or a chaotic home environment—can train our nervous systems to find familiarity in dysfunction. And when we don’t heal those internal blueprints, we keep recreating them in adult partnerships, confusing chaos for chemistry and silence for safety.

As always, Dr. Hensley ends with both compassion and a call to action. You are never stuck. Your nervous system may be wired for survival, but it can be rewired for secure love. You can raise your standards without fear of losing connection—because what’s truly meant for you won’t be threatened by your growth. Whether you’ve been chronically undervalued or simply unsure how to ask for more, this episode will remind you: it’s not too late to choose better. Healing is available, and so is the kind of love that doesn’t cost you your peace.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

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Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

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