In today's episode, I'm joined by Lindsey Ellison, and we discuss the ways we cope with trauma and pain. We all have pain points, and it is important to understand the origins of our pain points and why we are addicted to the pain itself.

She talks about her personal battle with alcoholism, why she had a breakdown, and how she decided to take the next treatment step. Lindsey speaks about her journey with deep trauma work, her experience with relationship death, and how she previously diminished her pain.

Trauma+fear+wounds=addiction is the formula that we are often working with. Lindsey helps us understand how this process plays out in our lives. Our fear and trauma fuel our addictions without even being aware of their presence.

Listen in to learn about why it is critical to look closely and deeply at our pain and what it is teaching us about our underlying needs, our inner-child work, and our unresolved trauma.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)

Bio:

Lindsey Ellison is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc., a coaching practice dedicated to helping people navigate their divorce or break up. Lindsey also specializes in helping people break free from narcissistic abuse, and is the author of the best selling book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist. You can find Lindsey on her popular podcast, Unbreakable You: Breakup Without Being Broken.

In this episode, Lindsey and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:

• Why we are addicted to the pain in our relationship
• How we form habits to deal with the source of our pain
• The factors of co-dependency and how this affects who you are
• How Lindsey created her blueprint of pain
• The role of defense mechanisms in adulthood
• How our trauma feeds into the fear cycle
• The adult child and how we use habits to maintain our fear and trauma
• What Lindsey learned around her deeper need for trauma and fear
• How to manage the pain of your inner child daily
• Triggers and why we need to avoid them
• Why we need to give attention to, not judge, our wounds
• How the little "t's" affect your emotional health over time
• The process of finding out the "I am nots" and how to overcome these false beliefs and triggers

Mentioned:

• Hold Me Tight the book

• Hold Me Tight Workshop

Connect with Lindsey Ellisen

• Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist

• Lindsey Ellisen on the web
• Magic Words workbook

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: [email protected]

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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.