It's amazing how couples can function as two distinct individuals in a relationship. Maintaining your own identity while encouraging your partner's interests and personal goals is gold. On the other hand, individual independence can be toxic too. It can make you feel like you're competing with your spouse, getting into a power struggle, and everything else that comes from these two individual perspectives.

In this episode, Terry Real encourages us to consider the consequences of approaching a relationship from a toxic individualism perspective and how critical it is to shift to a relational mindset as he shares some actionable steps from his new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents, along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

9:18 The inspiration behind the book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

12:42 What is toxic individualism and how does it affect relationships?

20:14 How to make the transition from automatic response to conscious communication?

23:52 How to empower your relationship.

46:00 Key takeaways.

Mentioned

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

Connect with Terry Real

Websites: terryreal.com — relationallife.com

Facebook: facebook.com/TerryRealRLI

YouTube: youtube.com/user/TerryRealRLI/feed

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship 

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LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins 

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 

Website: drjessicahiggins.com  

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. 

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. 

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*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.