Have you ever lashed out in frustration after relentless emotional torment, only to be told you are the problem? That is reactive abuse, and it is not the same as the calculated, intentional cruelty of narcissistic abuse. They push you until you break—then call you the abuser. 

In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we expose how narcissists provoke emotional reactions and then twist reality to shift blame onto you.

"They create chaos, then play the victim."

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Narcissists know exactly how to push your buttons, using manipulation and gaslighting to trigger an outburst. Once they get a reaction, they weaponise it—telling others you are unstable, you are the abuser. It is a classic blame-shifting strategy designed to discredit you and keep you trapped in self-doubt and shame.

We break down:

What reactive abuse really is—and why it is not actual abuse

Why narcissists provoke reactions—and how they use your response against you

How to break free from their manipulation—so you stop playing their game

Overcoming self-blame—so you can reclaim your truth and heal

Losing control after endless provocation does not make you the abuser.

If you have ever questioned yourself after a toxic argument, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and strategies to stay in control.
For more insights and strategies to break free from toxic relationships, grab a copy of my book, Fake Love.

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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Being discarded by a narcissist feels brutal—like you never mattered. One moment, you're their everything. The next, you're replaced, ignored, or worse—mocked. But here's the truth they don't want you to know: narcissists do look back. They do miss the people who once fed their ego. And yes, they often return—but not for the reasons you think.

Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    

In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I dive deep into the psychology behind the narcissist’s discard phase and what really makes them miss you.

“Your absence is the biggest statement you’ll ever make.”

Whether you're reeling from a discard or just trying to understand why they moved on so quickly, this episode is for you. You’ll learn:

* Why narcissists discard their partners so suddenly

* What triggers a narcissist to miss you after they’ve moved on

* The role of new supply and why it’s not what it seems

“Nothing unsettles a narcissist more than your peace.”

This isn’t about playing games. It’s about understanding how narcissists think—and how to emotionally detach from someone who feeds on your reactions. If you've been discarded and you're stuck in a cycle of rumination, wondering if they’ll ever look back or regret their actions, this episode brings you clarity, comfort, and strength.

“When you stop chasing, they start wondering.”

Grab your copy of Fake Love for more insight, strategies, and validation.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Covert narcissists hide in plain sight, using subtle tactics to break you down.
In this second part of our series, we delve deeper into the covert narcissist’s manipulative tactics that leave victims feeling invalidated, confused, and emotionally drained. If you’ve ever felt manipulated or questioned your worth in a relationship, this episode is a must-listen.

Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    

We continue to unravel the covert narcissist’s hidden strategies. From emotional blackmail to narcissistic triangulation, learn how these manipulative narcissists use psychological abuse to control and devalue their victims. In this episode, we reveal five more covert tactics that narcissists use to keep you hooked, create confusion, and isolate you from your support system.

What you'll learn:

The covert narcissist’s ability to invalidate your emotions and make you question your own reality (covert narcissist devalues).

How triangulation works to create tension and manipulate relationships (narcissistic triangulation).

The emotional blackmail tactics that narcissists use to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.

"Breaking free from a covert narcissist requires seeing the manipulation for what it is."

If you're struggling to break free from a covert narcissist, this episode offers critical insights and strategies to regain control and start healing. Understanding these tactics will empower you to protect your emotional well-being and rebuild your life, free from narcissistic abuse. 

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
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Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

"They don’t yell. They don’t rage. But they destroy you—quietly."

In this 2 part series of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I expose 10 subtle but devastating ways the covert narcissist devalues you.

Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    

From silent treatment and manufactured conflict to jokes that aren’t funny and fake concern laced with sabotage, these tactics are designed to break you down while keeping their hands clean.

“They make you feel like you’re the problem—while they quietly pull the strings.”

If you’ve ever felt confused, manipulated, or constantly walking on eggshells around someone who seems nice on the surface, this one’s for you.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

They replace you like you never existed.
If you’ve ever been discarded by a narcissist only to see them jump straight into a new relationship, this episode is for you.

I explain why narcissists move on so fast, how they pre-groom new supply, and why their “perfect new relationship” is just another manipulation tactic. It’s not love—it’s control.

Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    

You’ll learn:

Why narcissists rush into new relationships

How they use new supply to punish, provoke, or replace you

What love bombing looks like for the new partner

Why their new relationship isn’t what it seems

How to reclaim your self-worth and start healing


"It’s not about you. It’s about their need for constant supply."

Whether you're recovering from a breakup with a narcissist, dealing with a toxic co-parent, or trying to break free from emotional abuse, this episode offers validation, clarity, and steps forward.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

Their love disappears the moment you stop letting them control you.

In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we uncover what really happens when a narcissist loses control over you—and why their reaction is never about love or regret.

Need Support, Extra Resources?   Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here    

Once their manipulation no longer works, narcissists often lash out with smear campaigns, hoovering, guilt-tripping, or rage. Others play the victim to flip the narrative and keep control.

You’ll learn:

Why narcissists can’t handle losing power

The extreme tactics they use to reel you back in

How to protect yourself from emotional retaliation

Why no contact and boundaries are your best defence

How to stay grounded and reclaim your freedom


“It’s not about you. It’s about losing their grip on your life.”

Whether you’re healing from a toxic relationship, going no contact, or facing post-breakup mind games, this episode offers the clarity, validation, and strategies you need to protect your peace.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
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Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

“Children are often the silent victims in homes filled with conflict and control.”

In this important episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I'm joined by AJ Gajjar, Parenting and Trauma Consultant and creator of the Trauma Healing Parenting model. Together, we explore how domestic violence, high-conflict divorce, and coercive parenting impact children—and what parents and professionals can do to protect and empower them.

You’ll learn:

How children are affected by emotional abuse and toxic family dynamics

The hidden signs of coercive control and manipulative parenting

Why traditional parenting advice doesn’t work in high-conflict situations

Practical strategies for helping children heal from trauma

How to build resilience and emotional safety in children during and after abuse


AJ draws on over 18 years of experience in child development and mental health, as well as her lived experience, to share tools that truly support kids navigating ongoing relational harm.

“You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just need to be a protective one.”

Whether you're a parent, professional, or survivor, this episode offers validation, insight, and actionable guidance to help children feel safe, seen, and supported.

Connect with AJ at:
www.thetraumahealingparent.com

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
Join the private FB group here
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Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

“When sex becomes a weapon, it’s not about love—it’s about control.”

In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I dive deep into how narcissists use sex as a tool for manipulation and emotional abuse. Sex, which should be an act of connection and intimacy, becomes a weapon in the hands of a narcissist, used to dominate, punish, and destabilise their partners.

You’ll learn:

How narcissists use love bombing and intense passion to trap you

The tactics narcissists use to withhold affection and make you feel unworthy

Why narcissists use sex to punish and control their partners

How sex becomes a tool to reinforce trauma bonds, making it harder to break free

Real-life examples from survivors of narcissistic abuse and how they reclaimed their power

Narcissists create cycles of emotional highs and lows, leaving you confused, emotionally drained, and desperate for validation. This isn't love—it’s emotional manipulation.

If you've felt controlled, devalued, or emotionally starved in a sexual relationship, this episode will give you the clarity, tools, and validation you need to break free from the narcissist’s grip and heal from the emotional scars left behind.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
Join the private FB group here
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Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

"Covert narcissists don’t need to be loud to control you—they do it quietly, strategically, and with devastating impact."

In this revealing episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I expose the manipulative tactics covert narcissists use to isolate their victims and keep them emotionally, mentally, and physically dependent. Unlike overt narcissists, covert narcissists operate in the shadows, using subtle strategies that are hard to recognise but incredibly effective.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How smear campaigns are used to turn your loved ones against you, making you appear untrustworthy or unstable

The emotional blackmail of guilt and obligation traps, designed to make you feel responsible for their well-being

How covert narcissists create constant crisis to drain your energy and prevent you from forming healthy relationships outside of them

If you’ve ever felt your world closing in around you, this episode will help you recognise narcissistic isolation and give you the tools to reclaim your independence. With real-life examples from my counselling practice, you’ll gain clarity, practical strategies, and empowerment to break free from these toxic dynamics.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
Join the private FB group here
Join me on Instagram here

Join me on YouTube here

Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx

"Healing from domestic abuse and addiction is possible—Azadeh Atzberger shares how."

In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I’m joined by Azadeh Atzberger, a bestselling author, trauma survivor, and the founder of Finally Free Life. Azadeh has dedicated her life to empowering others to heal from the effects of domestic abuse and addiction, using her personal journey of overcoming both to guide others through their own recovery.

Azadeh’s expertise as a transformational life coach and couples coach shines through as she shares her experience as a survivor of domestic and sexual abuse, and how she broke free from addiction. Her visionary program, The 12 Steps For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, offers profound tools for navigating trauma and reclaiming one’s life.

In this episode, we discuss:

Healing from narcissistic abuse and the impact of trauma on relationships

How addiction intertwines with trauma recovery and how to break free

The steps to manifesting the life you deserve after overcoming trauma

How coaching and self-empowerment can support your healing journey

Azadeh’s story is a testament to resilience and transformation, and if you’re ready to heal from the trauma of domestic abuse and addiction, press play now.

Support the Show on Apple Podcasts
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here

Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here

You can leave a Rating and a Review here

You Can Share this Podcast here

Join me on FB here
Join the private FB group here
Join me on Instagram here

Join me on YouTube here

Please Buy me a coffee ❤️

Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.

Nova xx