Fix CPTSD Podcast | Psychology and Philosophy in Narcissistic Times with Richard Grannon

This is something that 10X your recovery speed.

Everybody's tells us about the importance of processing our emotions, but rarely tells us how. We get stuck and frustrated repressing our feelings and not moving forward.

Not anymore. This episode shows you a way of processing your emotions that WORKS even if you haven't done it before. 

If you want to finally start understanding your feelings then jump right in.

(00:02) The Reasons Why We Lose Our Capacity To Process Emotions

(02:14) What Happens Over Time When You Become Emotionally Illiterate?

(06:44) Emotional Illiteracy And Capacity To Perceive Reality

(11:12) What Do We Do To Get People Emotionally Literate Again?

||Q&A Section||

(16:23) "Are you suggesting LSD? What if you're in addiction recovery?"

(18:03) "Do you think antidepressants stop emotional processing?"

(18:39) "Can you repeat the questions you ask the emotions?"

(20:05) "How do I know if my feelings are the right ones for the situation?"

(20:42) "If you've just discovered you're a very frightened person, how do you stay and feel that emotion without going numb again?"

(21:21) "What's up with the fear of disappointment? I find it hard to be the best version of myself because I'm afraid of disappointing anybody else"

(23:35) "Do you believe codependents will only ever be attracted to narcissists or can they heal and be attracted to the non-disordered?"

(26:53) Goodbye

Sometimes we have to stay in contact with a narcissist for whatever reason.

This can be upsetting and difficult situation. We might feel re-triggered every time we contact them, or just generally worse after the contact.

In this episode you'll discover rules and techniques that will make you feel safe while managing contact with a narcissist.

//Find the mentioned course at www.spartanlifecoach.com //

(00:49) Managing Contact With A Narcissist: Introduction

(01:46) Rule 1: Do Remember What You Are Dealing With

(05:23) Rule 2: Do Give Up Hope

(08:31) Using A Circuit Breaker Part 1

(13:15) Using A Circuit Breaker Part 2

(19:42) The Grey Rock Tactics

||Q&A Section||

(23:18) "Today for the first time my ex narc showed his personality disorder to our seven-year-old son. What do I say to a little boy to explain this?"

(25:02) Answering a question about feeling guilty

(28:17) "How can I get out of the rage which I can not feel because I'm afraid of my ex?"

(29:37) "I'm conducting an escape plan to get away from my narcissistic mother. Should I act normal so she doesn't suspect?"

(30:51) Responding to short comments part 1

(35:56) Responding to short comments part 2

(36:39) Narcissists being aggressive and provoking aggression

(37:53) Discussing hyper-competitiveness and sophistry

(41:49) Responding to a comment from a person who is a primary living caregiver for her aging covert narcissistic mother

(47:20) Wrapping Up

Can self-compassion physically change your brain? Exploring PTSD cures  - calm the monkey, still the lizard and free the human.

(01:34) Biological Background of PTSD and CPTSD (Reptilian and Mammalian Brain)

(07:07) Prolonged Exposure to Extreme Stress and Threat Shrinking Hippocampus

(10:08) Recovering the Hippocampus

(13:19) Practicing the Access to Positive Emotions

(16:15) Emotional Processing/digestion

(18:27) Why Would Trauma Processing Be So Lethal?

(20:48) Accessing the Self-compassion With the Help of Counselling

Borderline Personality Disorder, Codependency, Counter Dependency, Narcissism

(0:00) Codependency And Counter Dependency

(4:33) Cluster B Personality Disorders Are Actually All Expressions Of Codependency

(5:51) Counter Dependent Looking Like A Classic Histrionic Or Borderline

(8:11) Counter Dependency Looking Like Grandiose Narcissism

(10:32) Never Get In A Relationship To Fix Someone

(14:00) What Counter Dependents Need To Do To Overcome Counter Dependency Part 1

(18:22) What Counter Dependents Need To Do To Overcome Counter Dependency Part 2

(24:20) The Final Advice For Counter Dependents

(26:13) Goodbye

How do you know if its "love bombing" or not?

Really this question comes down to an issue of boundaries and of perception.

***timestamps below***

It seems to be asking "Can I trust others?" but the real question is "Can I trust myself to make good judgement calls".

Love bombing is a term from cult psychology. It's the practise of having the cult members bomb the new recruit with love, so they feel like the cult is a kind of heaven of earth. Once they have been bonded to the cult, its members and its leader the "love bombing" stops abruptly leaving the newcomer wondering what they did wrong and trying to figure out how to fix the relationship.

Similarly, on a micro level between two people (a narcissist is a cult of one, they are both leader and god head) some people use the term "love bombing" to describe the early phases of the narcissistic relationship dance.

Personally I find the term a bit excessive and jargonistic, so I don't use it much. But this podcast explains what this "idealisation" phase looks like and how to differentiate

(00:04) Starting Today's Topic

(01:20) #1 Are You Boundaried and Adult? (House Metaphor)

(06:44) #2 How Does the Questioning Make You Feel?

(11:25) #3 What Happens When You Set a Boundary or Say No? (+ Don't Overshare)

(15:11) Oversharing on a First Date

(19:28) #4 How Anxious Does Dating Makes You Feel? (Check-in)

(25:05) #5 Emotional Literacy Test

(28:40) A Note on How the Question Look Like Outside, Richard on Vice Mocking Documentary

(32:49) Trust Yourself and Grow Up

(41:01) Dating Advice, Boundried Flirting and Respect

(44:42) Consumerism in Relationships

||Q&A Section||

(46:58) "How does one manage intense lust that keeps dragging them backwards?"

(48:43) "Is that why relationships last longer when you have started from friends?"

(49:57) "How much would you rely on your intuition vs. Logic?"

(50:37) "How does one avoid isolation when all who were trusted been compromised by the narc?"

(51:46) "Do intense feelings of connectedness upon first meeting with someone indicate the beginnings of an unhealthy relationship?"

(54:12) "Should the female make the first move?"

(59:38) "Advice or references for up keeping intimacy in a long term relationship?"

(1:07:56) "What do I do with a compulsive need of contribution?"

Meditation is used to strengthen your mind, awareness and quality of thoughts - attributes which are crucial to healing. Although for many CPTSD cases it can be triggering - here we will talk about it more deeply.

(00:37) Meditation is Just a Tool & Proceed With Caution

(01:43) You Should Start Very Lightly and Here's How

(05:28) Dealing With Obnoxious Feelings, Thoughts and Impulses

(07:55) Detachment and Critical Thought

(13:33) Meditation vs. Visualisation & Spiritual Bypassing Distractions

(15:47) Find the Middle Path

An excerpt from a seminar touching on: having a right to be, growing up and letting go, taking ownership and responsibility, facing competition...

Your body is a biological machine that have needs and need maintenance. Do these things to make sure you will start to feel better.

(State management, physical emotional and somatic sensations, physiology, sleep, diet and more)

What self-discipline really is and how to become more self-disciplined? How relevant it is in healing and overcoming narcissistic abuse and CPTSD?

Sign-up for the mentioned free course here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm

(00:35) The Truth About Self-discipline

(03:09) It's an Ethic Change That Needs to Happen

(04:17) Self-discipline in People With CPTSD & Toxic Superego

(07:18) Battling the Superego, Escaping Into Self-indulgence

(13:04) Spartan Life Coach Way of Kind Self-discipline

(16:12) Negotiating With ID (Inner Child)

||Q&A Section||

(21:12) "It's hard because I have this fight or flight response"

(21:54) "I don't understand what you mean by being sentimental?"

(22:42) "How do I up-level my emotional intelligence?"

(23:23) "What determines the amount of willpower we have as humans?"

(23:51) "Is sentimentality grieving over what could have been?"

(27:13) "How could I tell if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship or I'm just having regular flashbacks?"

(32:23) "How do you start healing the Inner Child?"

(33:20) "I don't have many disciplined people in my life to look to for inspiration"

(35:43) "Could you elaborate on negotiating with ID?"

(37:07) "How can a people pleaser deal with controlling people?"

(39:49) "What if the shift to positive ID has caused me to be less driven to achieve?"

(40:42) "How do you practise discipline when you are used to pushing through, getting things done?"

(41:59) "Can you talk about trauma bonding?" (fetishist split about a person)

(50:33) "Any advice for talking back to your people pleasing instinct in managing episodes of depersonalization?"

(52:08) "How can you tell if it's codependency or your ego getting hurt?"

(54:38) "Is being single the best state to be in for a CPTSD afflicted individual?"

(56:50) "How do you find the motivation for self-care when it's so instinctual not to do so?" (learned helplessness)

(1:03:19) "Why is it so hard to sync your emotional intelligence to the intellectual knowledge?"

(1:07:11) "Why does that sound a bit like a cult?"

(1:08:01) Answering Short Questions

(1:10:55) "Would you recommend Ayahuasca as a treatment for flashback?"

(1:13:34) Answering Short Questions

(1:15:48) Goodbye & Invitation to a Free Course

(00:10) Your State Transmits

(01:02) Regulation and Zen Buddhism

(02:52) Meditation for Self-awareness

(04:58) State Management, Objective of Communication, Boundaries

(06:28) Clear Communication & Fawning

(08:53) Summary