By Barb Nangle
"Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery" will help those who want to heal to move from being fragmented to whole.
Hi, I'm Barb! I'm a boundaries coach and a woma
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I recently came across the phrase, “Stop extending the life of your problems.” This resonated with me because before I got into recovery, I hadn’t realized I was massively extending the life of my problems for DECADES on end by ruminating on the past and catastrophizing about the future. This, I have come to realize, is a very common trait for those of us in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). This week’s episode 283 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how rumination and catastrophizing hijack your peace (and how to stop)!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 42: Why Take a Daily Inventory
When Food is Love by Geneen Roth
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
It’s no secret that boundaries are the key to reclaiming your power, honoring your needs, and living life on your terms. And me showing up week after week on the podcast to lay the foundation for boundary setting is one thing, but hearing the real-life stories of those of us who are taking action and setting boundaries in our lives is inspiring on a whole new level! This week’s episode 282 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about real-life stories of saying no and standing firm!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a series of examples of ways either myself, my listeners, or my clients have put the fundamentals of boundary setting into action in their lives so you can feel inspired to do the same in your life.
Now, some of these boundaries may seem small but when you multiply them by the thousands of ways we’ve compromised ourselves in the past, setting all these little types of boundaries results in the kind of life we want to live.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Free Resources on Boundaries
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
Recognizing and overcoming codependence can be a profound and life-changing journey, but undoing the deeply engrained layers of this behavior is not easy. I found this out the hard way after hitting what I call my “codependence bottom” after inviting my homeless friend to stay with me, leading to feeling trapped in my own home, and coming to the conclusion that I was codependent. This realization was a huge life shift for me and I want to continue sharing my experiences in hopes that other people can learn from my journey and start to undo their own codependent behaviors. This week’s episode 281 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding codependence, its origins, and how to overcome it!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m breaking down the concept of codependence, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take right now to build the healthy boundaries necessary to overcome codependent tendencies.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
I want to hear from you! What further questions do you have about codependence? Is there something I mentioned today that you would like me to expand upon? Send me a DM or an email and let’s chat.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
ACA Fellowship Text (The Big Red Book or BRB)
Join the Waitlist for the FREE Boundary Building Starter Kit
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
For those who have a loved one who is an alcoholic, you understand the uphill battle of finding the right words that will finally get through to them. But the reality is, we are just as powerless over alcohol as the alcoholic is and there is nothing we can do or say that will magically change their addiction. Laurel found this out the hard way and joins me on the podcast today as she shares her powerful journey with Al-Anon and how she learned to let go of the belief that saying the “right” things can stop the alcoholic from drinking, save her marriage, and ultimately protect her family. This week’s episode 280 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about living your truth!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Laurel shares her powerful story of navigating life with an alcoholic spouse and how Al-Anon gave her the strength, support, and resources to set boundaries and live her truth.
Some of the talking points Laurel and I go over in this episode include:
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 278: Breaking Free from Generational Shame and Humiliation
Ep 279: The Blame Game- Recognizing and Releasing the Need to Blame
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
Content Warning: This episode has brief mentions of the sexual abuse of a child.
One of the things covered in The Solution, a foundational document in ACA is that we will free ourselves from the shame and blame carried over from the past. Shame is just about one of the worst feelings in the world so to avoid it, we can get into the habit of displacing this feeling by blaming others, instead of taking accountability for our part in the situation. As a result, shame and blame go hand in hand. This week’s episode 279 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the blame game - recognizing and releasing the need to blame.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a follow-up from last week’s episode on shame, ways in which I have recognized the need to blame as a result of feeling shame, and actionable steps you can take right now to identify when you’re putting the blame on others and switch to taking accountability for your part in things.
You can’t change the past, whether that’s what happened to you or what you did, but you can change your reaction patterns, thus, changing the future. That my friends is freedom.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
In ACA we say that shame is the legacy of adult children and it is passed down from generation to generation. That’s why we feel shame for things that “normal” people don’t. This week’s episode 278 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about breaking free from generational shame and humiliation!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how, despite the saying that guilt is, ‘I did something wrong’ and shame is ‘I am something wrong,’ for me, it was more frequently that I was supposed to know something that I don’t or I’m supposed to be or do something that I’m not. And that is because of the messages I received from the people around me growing up.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Remember, it is fine to seek the approval of others but only when you have your own approval first.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep. 17. GUILT AND SHAME
Ep. 179. Freedom from the Lie of Shame - You're Not Inherently Flawed
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
Whether you’re in recovery or not, you may have heard the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical.” This phrase refers to the times in our lives when we may have an emotional reaction that felt completely out of proportion to the situation at hand and gives some insight into some unresolved trauma from our past. This week’s episode 277 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the meaning behind the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical."
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
If you’re noticing these emotional triggers pop up in your life, I encourage you to seek support through programs like ACA or work with a trauma-informed therapist to uncover and process past wounds. You’d be surprised how healing it can be.
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episodes about denial:
Ep: 16 D-E-N-I-A-L (12 min)
Ep: 23 Denial 2.0 (13 min)
Ep: 182 Denial 3.0 (23 min)
Ep 191: How I Came Out of Denial - My ACA Story (26 min)
Ep 196: Denial 4.0 (24 min)
ACA World Service Organization website
ACA Fellowship Text “The Big Red Book”
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Work with Barb!
Get a free chap
Send us a text
Many of us in ACA have had to pretend our entire lives in order to feel safe or get our needs met. We acted as though our family was one way knowing full well that was not the case behind closed doors. So let me be clear: acting “as if” is not the same as pretending. It’s a way of acting in a way that changes the long-standing patterns of behavior that keep you from moving forward. This week’s episode 276 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about moving from pretending to purpose- the true power of acting “as if”.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the motivations behind our actions and how they can impact our personal growth. I also share actionable steps to course-correct the behaviors holding us back and move closer to the life we want to live.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep. 25: Act As If
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
I have shared bits and pieces of my reparenting journey throughout my podcast episodes but I have never publicly sat down to share it all in one setting. That is… until I appeared on an episode of the Adult Child podcast with Andrea Ashley. After hearing the little bit of my story that I shared in her community which is affectionately called The Shitshow, Andrea Ashley invited me on her podcast to share my reparenting journey with her audience. This week’s episode 275 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my reparenting journey as expressed on the Adult Child podcast!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the full story of how my inner family came forward to me, one by one, and sharing personal experiences of re-casting and re-writing my past with my new, inner-loving family.
If you’re looking to identify with other adult children, the Adult Child podcast is for you. You can listen to Andrea Ashley’s podcast here!
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
Send us a text
If you really want to have a well-lived life, you want to focus on what you want, not so much on what you don't want. Just like the archer must focus on the target rather than the trophy, we also must focus on the task ahead rather than the result, which may not even come to pass. This week’s episode 274 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast focuses on what you want by aiming for the target, not the trophy!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
Through my recovery journey, I learned the importance of focusing on what you want rather than dwelling on what you don't want. Setting clear boundaries and prioritizing my needs and values has allowed me to form the healthy, genuine relationships I desire.
My hope is that you can apply this lesson of aiming for your goals, not external rewards, to enrich your own life.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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