As adults, we often tell our friends we want to “catch up.”

People catch up over the phone. They catch up over dinner. But the thing about catching up is you’re telling someone about things that ALREADY happened to you. You’re updating them on your recent past instead of being in the present.

That’s why I’m such a big proponent of DOING things with people – running errands, hiking, paddleboarding, going on a trip, etc. Whenever you’re doing something together, you’re creating memories right now.

Today’s episode is Part 2 of my conversation with Connection Feast founder Alex Friedman. (If you haven’t checked out Part 1, do it now!) Alex and I love talking about friendship, and in this episode, we cover it all, from building friendships slowly to making the time you spend with your friends MEANINGFUL. 

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• A great formula for reaching out to people (hint – if you want to hang out with somebody, be specific!)
• Small intimacies, and how it’s sometimes easier for friendship to build on these instead of big intimacies (plus the dangers of sharing too early or too much at once)
• How to “create the container” for friendships to build, and then just allowing the connection to happen
• Relieving the pressure of “catching up” by instead DOING something together 
• The impact of specificity when making new friends; for example, “I’m looking for friends who are really into yoga” (or meditation, running, hiking, etc.)
• Friendships vs. relationships, and how both build slowly over time

Resources & Links

Follow Alex on Instagram. Be sure to check out her events if you’re local to Seattle; in this episode, she teased that her next feast is in January!

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

My secret to hosting and gathering people together? I don’t do it all. 

For a while I tried to “do it all” as a hostess, but it honestly was stressful and not very fun. There's a photo of me as a kid somewhere, wearing a cute apron and serving my grandma and her friends for a party. For 10 years, I was also a professional wedding and event planner.

Since it’s the holiday season, I want to share my insight on what matters and what doesn’t when it comes to gathering people together – and how doing LESS can ultimately help us spend more time with the people we care about. 

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The six jobs of hosting – the initiator, the organizer, the food role, the cleaner, the decorator, the day-of host
• How to not do it all (split out the roles, narrow down the event, meet somewhere in a public place, keep things more casual & set limits)
• How to do less when it comes to cleaning - i.e., you don’t have to scrub your baseboards, and you can just shut a door to a room
• How day-of hosting often gets ignored, but this is make-or-break
• Setting precedents for future events and turning things into traditions
• The business term MVP – minimally viable product – and how it relates to friendship gatherings

Resources & Links

One book I adore and strongly recommend about hosting: The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, which helps us understand the purpose of gathering.

For a list of the roles and a bigger description of what each entails (and how to not do everything) visit my website.

Like what you hear? Leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Feeling lonely or disconnected? Learn how to make friends as an adult and build intentional friendships through Connection Feast with guest Alexandra Friedman.

In this episode, I’m joined by Alexandra Friedman, founder of Connection Feast, a community-building company that hosts intentional gatherings to spark real, lasting connection. What started as a personal response to loneliness after a breakup and move back to Seattle has now grown into a thriving event series helping people cultivate emotional intimacy in friendship and create community as adults.

We talk about how to make friends as an adult — including the role of vulnerability, the art of hosting themed dinner parties, and how small, consistent actions (à la Atomic Habits) lead to big connection over time. You’ll also hear why “structured play” helps adults feel safe opening up, and how letting go of expectations can shift how we experience the people in our lives.

Whether you're navigating loneliness after a move, craving more meaningful community, or want to start building intentional friendships, this is a conversation full of realness, hope, and practical takeaways. Tune in — and stay tuned for part two of this deep (and fun) chat!

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How Connection Feast helps adults make friends through structured, playful gatherings
• What it really means to build intentional friendships
• Why adult friendship requires emotional intimacy and vulnerability
• How to let go of unrealistic expectations in friendships
• The power of “social art” and themed dinner parties
• Creating connection even when life paths and schedules differ
• How to shift from loneliness to community, one small habit at a time

Guest: Alexandra Friedman

Alexandra is the founder of Connection Feast, a Seattle-based (and now global) community organization that creates intentional spaces for people to connect more deeply through in-person and virtual events. She has hosted over 100 events bringing together 1,000+ people. Follow Alex on Instagram at @connectionfeast

Key Quotes:

• "You never know who’s going to walk in. Let go of the timeline and follow the wave." — Alexandra Friedman, [22:42]
• "Building intentional friendships doesn’t mean forcing connection — it means creating space for it." — Alexandra Friedman, [8:15]

Mentioned in this episode:

• EP3: The 4 Types of Friends and Why They All Matter
• Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear (affiliate link)
• Learn more at Connection Feast

Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

When big life changes happen, our closest people When life changes—pregnancy, a move, illness—our identity and relationships shift too. In this episode, we explore how life transitions affect friendships, support systems, and the people we lean on most.

I’m joined by my friend Sarah Blackledge, who’s expecting her first child. While we talk about pregnancy and friendship dynamics, this conversation applies to any big life shift. We discuss how identity changes can impact even our closest relationships—and how communication can bridge the gap.

We cover letting go of friendship hierarchies, navigating grief and fear as people grow, and building a sustainable support system after big life changes. From reconnecting with old friends to showing up in the mundane moments, this episode is a reminder that friendship can evolve—and even deepen—through change.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How life transitions reshape friendships
• Letting go of friendship hierarchies
• Fear, ego, and grief in evolving relationships
• Pregnancy and changing friendship dynamics
• Reconnecting with old friends in new ways
• The power of simple, situational friends
• Letting people help before you “need” them
• Communicating needs in adult friendships

Key Quotes:
“I’m not just looking for one person to do it all—I want the right people in the right moments.” — Sarah Blackledge, 7:30

“Grief and change in relationships happen when our closest people can’t catch up to who we’ve become.” — Alex Alexander, 23:55

Reflection Question: 
What has worked for you in the past when navigating big life transitions and their impact on your friendships?

Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

What if friendship isn’t all or nothing? 

In this episode, we’re redefining adult friendship and exploring the 4 types of friends that bring connection, belonging, and everyday value into our lives. 

What actually makes someone a friend? Is it shared history, emotional intimacy, or how often you talk? In this solo episode, Alex Alexander unpacks the friendship spectrum — from casual “familiar friends” to deeply rooted “present friends” — and shows why every type of friendship matters. 

By letting go of the pressure to define friendships in black-and-white terms, we open ourselves up to more connection, more support, and more opportunities to show up for one another. Whether you're navigating adult friendship challenges, feeling the grief of changing relationships, or just wondering how to know if someone is your friend — this episode will shift your perspective in the best way. 

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The trap of “friendship markers” — and why they’re holding us back
• How to redefine friendship using the 4 types: Familiar, Defined, Present, and Historic
• Why emotional intimacy is built through repeated, small actions over time
• Ways to connect and appreciate your friendships, even if they’ve changed
• Letting go of the pressure to "be everything" in every relationship

Reflection Question:

Which type of friend do you have the most of right now? Is there a small action you can take today to make that person feel appreciated?

Key Quotes:

"Sometimes I think we forget our closest friends were once just people we said hi to." — Alex Alexander, 20:00

"Redefining adult friendship means valuing what’s there, not what’s missing." — Alex Alexander, 17:31

Resources & Links

Learn more about emotional intimacy roots on my blog.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

What happens when you stop expecting your partner to be your everything?

In this episode, Alex and her husband Michael dive into how balancing friendship and marriage creates stronger, more connected relationships. They share why seeking emotional support outside your relationship isn't just okay—it’s essential.

You’ll hear real-life stories, how they navigate couple and individual friendship dynamics, and why friendship is one of their most powerful forms of self-care. You'll learn practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries with your partner, how to communicate your friendship needs, and simple ways to maintain connections even during busy seasons of life. Whether you're feeling overburdened in your partnership or craving more connection outside it, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, empowered, and inspired to build your own support system.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Seeking a variety of support outside of your marriage/relationship 
• How it’s unfair to burden one person (our partners) to support all parts of us
• How to call out and say, “I am not the right person for this” – for example, I am not the right person for Michael to go to about anything regarding football!
• Having separate friendships with your friends, even if you’re in a couple
• The incredible dynamics it takes to have “couple friends”
  
  

Reflection Question:

How do you and your partner support each other’s friendships?

Guest: Michael Alexander

Michael is Alex’s husband—and he’s been hearing her talk about friendship, community, and connection for years (and yes, it’s rubbed off). Friendship has always mattered to him, even back in his childhood and college days. These days, he and Alex make friendship and community a shared priority in their relationship and daily life. Michael loves a good heart-to-heart with his friends, and some of his favorite connection points include sports, his fantasy football league, and movie nights.

Key Quotes:

"No one person can hold all the parts of who you are." — Alex Alexander, [07:04]

"Friendship isn’t a threat to your relationship—it’s part of how you care for yourself and each other." — Michael Alexander, [22:27]


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Struggling to make real friends as an adult or build a lasting support system? In this episode, we explore 5 mindset shifts to deepen adult friendships and create true belonging.

Welcome to Friendship IRL, the podcast that explores how to create real, lasting friendships in adulthood. In this kickoff episode, host Alex Alexander shares her powerful story of building a support system through friendship—after growing up with limited family support and stepping into a caregiver role at just 13.

You’ll discover 5 powerful mindset shifts that can help you make friends as an adult, deepen existing relationships, and create a sense of belonging. Together, we’ll unpack why prioritizing friendship is countercultural, how to start being more emotionally honest, and what it really takes to build a support system when traditional family support isn't there.

If you’ve ever thought, *“Why is it so hard to make friends in your 30s?”* or *“I feel lonely but have people around me,”* this episode is your invitation to think differently about connection.

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Why friendship is essential (and countercultural) in adulthood
• What adult friendship can look like when it becomes your support system
• How to make space for vulnerability and redefine emotional support
• Why discomfort, rejection, and growth go hand-in-hand
• The truth about loneliness—even when you're not alone

Reflection Question:

Where does friendship stand on your hierarchy of importance?

Timestamps 

• 00:00 – Why I Started This Podcast on Friendship & Community
• 04:00 – Growing Up Lonely & Finding Refuge in Friendship
• 06:30 – Building a Support System Without Family
• 08:15 – What Real Adult Friendship Can Actually Look Like
• 10:00 – Why Friendship Deserves More Attention Than We Give It
• 13:00 – 5 Key Mindset Shifts to Strengthen Your Friendships
• 18:00 – Discomfort, Rejection, and the Path to Real Connection
• 20:00 – Let’s Start This Conversation Together

Key Quotes 

"You are worthy of having great people in your life." 
— Alex Alexander, 16:12

"When I say my friends are my support system, I mean it — I didn't grow up with strong family support, so I built my own community from scratch."
— Alex Alexander, 04:15

Resources & Links

Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Imagine you could listen in on those unfiltered conversations about what is actually happening inside someone's friendships, community, and support system...

• How someone navigated a friendship breakup even though they still see that friend often. 
• What does balancing marriage, friends, and family look like, and who is someone calling when they need support? 
• A parent who is wholly overwhelmed but doesn't have any family that lives nearby. Do they need to move back to their hometown? How might they build a support system from friends and the nearby community? 

Alex Alexander asks the questions we all want to ask and unearths a new way to think about community, friendship, and the support systems we surround ourselves with.

"Doing things the way they've always been done" has left us all at our loneliest and most disconnected.  So, ask the questions. Reimagine your relationships. Build yourself a better version.

Take the conversation beyond the podcast! Follow Alex on Instagram (@itsalexalexander) or Tiktok (@itsalexalexander), or send her a voice message directly with all your friendship thoughts, problems, and triumphs by heading to AlexAlex.chat and hitting record. 

New episodes release weekly on Thursdays.