In this episode of Get Psyched, Lindsey connects her (slightly mischievous) love of embarrassment to one of the most influential relationship research programs of all time: the Love Lab led by John Gottman.
Inside the famed Love Lab at the University of Washington, couples were observed to uncover what actually predicts long-term relationship success. The biggest predictor? Not grand gestures. Not passion. Not compatibility quizzes.
It was how partners responded to bids for connection.
Today the gals explore:
🎙️ Lindsey’s love for embarrassment: Lindsey's bids for connection through shared embarrassment, laughter, and being unhinged.
🎙️ Progression vs. maintenance: Gottman’s research shows thriving couples aren’t constantly “leveling up.” They’re maintaining connection through small, consistent responses to everyday bids.
🎙️ What is a bid for connection?: A glance. A sigh. A joke. A “look at this.” These micro-moments are requests for attention, affection, or affirmation.
🎙️ The 3 ways we respond to bids:
• Turning toward (connection grows)
• Turning away (neutral drift)
• Turning against (resentment builds)
Couples who turned toward each other the majority of the time had dramatically higher rates of long-term satisfaction. The magic isn’t dramatic. It’s daily.
🎙️ Simple doesn’t mean easy: It’s simple to put down your phone. Simple to look up. Simple to say, “Tell me more.” But in real life? When you’re stressed, tired, or defensive? That’s where the work is.
This episode blends relationship psychology, attachment science, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help you respond differently the next time someone reaches for you... subtly or not.
Because the research is clear: love is built in the small moments. And sometimes the most powerful thing you can do… is turn toward.
Press play to upgrade how you show up in your relationships one bid at a time.
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