It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Getting it Backwards in Family Court—Winners & Losers


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Sometimes professionals in the legal system get it backwards. It’s frustrating and leaves people feeling helpless. Why can’t the judge see what the other party is doing? Why is my ex’s lawyer painting him/her out to be a hero, convincing everyone in the courtroom that I’m the bad parent?

Do professionals get it backwards and believe the wrong person sometimes?

Bill and Megan discuss this important topic, including:

  • is this a high conflict issue
  • what is a persuasive blamer
  • can persuasive blamers influence the court’s decisions
  • do persuasive blamers honestly believe the false statements they make or that they are victims
  • cognitive distortions that lead to persuasive blaming
  • do they have personality disorders
  • why professionals believe persuasive blamers—can professionals get emotionally hooked
  • examples: domestic violence, alienation, emotionally too intense
  • how to overcome this in court—what can parents do
  • what can professionals do

Links & Other Notes

  • BOOKS
    • High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
    • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • ARTICLES
    • Family Law: 3 Theories of the High-Conflict Case
    • Six Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family Court

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
  • (02:31) - Family Court – Getting It Backwards
  • (06:29) - Why do HCPs do this?
  • (09:52) - Why are they believed?
  • (13:30) - Examples
  • (17:52) - How to Overcome
  • (19:12) - Three Theories
  • (22:55) - Tips to Help
  • (26:39) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Telling a High Conflict Spouse You Want a Divorce

  • Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

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