I’m going to shoot it to you straight. I struggled with what I wanted to say for the next couple of episodes. I had this vague idea of a topic and it just felt wrong. So instead of going with it, I went with my gut and posted one of those “True or False” posts on Instagram. 

One of you wrote, “True or False: You used to be a Christian and now your beliefs are more New Age” and I think so many people were surprised when I said False. 

Throughout this season we’ve touched on my spiritual journey, but I wanted to go a little deeper because my health and my beliefs have truly walked hand in hand. I have never been more sick than when I was wholly focused on the church and I’ve never been more well than when I focused on my faith. 

Even when I was at the height of my inner turmoil and felt so bitter, so lost, so confused, and so jaded, I never once felt as if God had left me. He was there and held me through the pain and the turmoil and gave me the space to come back the root of my beliefs and faith. 

In this episode:

[00:36] The time change has really messed me up this week. What about you?
[04:01] True or False: You used to be a Christian and now your beliefs are more New Age. Hear the answer. 
[06:27] This episode is about trusting your gut and my spiritual journey. 
[12:36] I’m taking you back to the beginning and providing more about my history and upbringing. 
[19:42] Learn the first red flags I saw as I was growing more involved in this new church. 
[23:18] Denying your intuition over time causes true division in your body and brain. 
[30:50] Why do we feel like we need to revel in our suffering? 
[32:23] I got to a point where I was so shut down, so sick, and I was falling apart. 
[33:44] The straw that broke the camel’s back. 
[37:11] When I left the church I lost everything about my identity at that time, but it all changed when I gave myself permission to not go to church if I didn’t want to. 
[40:48] Even through the time when I was so over church, God was still there holding me. 
[42:00] Come back for the next episode to hear more about how I got from despising everything about the church to where I am in my faith now. 

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