Healers Get Vulnerable

I used to ask every podcast guest: "What productivity or time management hacks do you use as an entrepreneur?"

I've stopped asking that.

I'm no longer lit up by trying to make my habits atomic or maximize my time.

The work of Tricia Hersey, Ebony Janice Moore, Tara McMullin and others has helped me (along with everyone I know) to question whether productivity is the measure to focus on and strive for.

We're here to heal, play, love and rest and BE, and when we do more of those things, we make it more possible to create the world we want.

When we're talking about running a small business, which is my lane, I find that to create something new like a new business or a new program, we need something different than productivity or time management.

We need to nurture our creative energy.

How do I know time management and productivity alone are not the answer?

When suddenly given a huge amount of time, we don't usually make as much progress as we had hoped to.

We might use that time scrolling or spinning our wheels.

Lots of folks discovered this during lock down.

So when a person asks me how many hours a week it takes to build a program beyond private practice, I could say…at least 3, better 5, and better yet 10.

But really, I find that nurturing your creative energy for an entrepreneurial project is more important than how many hours you give it.

Side note for folks running private practices:

Running a private practice might be a bit different…

It's a terrible idea, and I don't recommend it, but you may have noticed that you CAN run a private practice with scraps of energy, at least for a while. You probably know how to scrape together those scraps or energy to show up for your clients.

Here's what Katherine Eastlake says. She runs a private practice and has a program for therapists wanting to deepen embodied practice.

"I can be fairly dysregulated and settle quickly when a client walks into my room/pops up on Zoom. But when I am writing my newsletter or designing a training, I feel like I need more time and space to ground myself and orient to the process. It is a different energy with different requirements of my mind and body."

To move beyond private practice and create something new, like a signature program, you can't just add time and productivity hacks.

Pomodoro timers and to-do lists are not going to get you there.

You need to access your creative energy, and that means devoting yourself to replenishing that energy.

Here are five ways I nurture my creative energy:

1. Devote myself to the things that make me feel expansive.

I get creative energy when I devote myself to all the things that make me feel more expansive. I need to play, feeling my feelings, talk to people who inspire me, listen to podcasts and music that move me, go on walks, sing, and dance.

2. Set deadlines that people know about.

There's a sweet spot for each of us between having deadlines and having the freedom to move at our own pace.

I crave more freedom when I'm facing too many deadlines, but when completely lack deadlines, I'm not creating a lot.

Even this episode would not necessarily be here if I had no deadline for it.

I used to be so internally motivated that I could set my own deadlines that no one knew about and I'd meet them. Um…hypervigilant much? You spotted that? Yes I was.

Now I find that I need to share my deadlines with others.

3. Make room for discomfort in the creative process.

Expect really itchy moments when you have to keep trying/writing/talking/moving your pen so that the work actually happens.

Expect a 3 hour task to take 10 hours sometimes.

Expect to feel like you can't do this and know that doesn't mean you can't do this.

Expect to feel like leaving.

Let your frustration tolerance build.

All of that discomfort is part of opening up to creative energy.

4. Avoid certain things.

In order to access creative energy, I avoid…

• Social media
• Comparison
• Expecting myself to get other things done as much or as well
• New tech platforms or tools

5. Find or build a community so we're mutually supporting each other in accessing our creative energy.

Build or find a Community of other creators who commit to creating when the world wouldn't say they have to.

Entrepreneurs are a good bet because they've signed up for the tricky thing you've signed up for: They're creating what they want to create AND they're finding a way to make good money with it.

That's a different challenge than creating only for the sake of creating.

And speaking of community, I have an assignment ready for you, if you choose to accept it.

Choose someone you trust who believes in you and will give you a loving kick in the pants and send them an email. Here's your loose script:

"I'm planning on doing something brave. (Here's what it is). I may try to talk myself out of it. Will you please support me and encourage me in doing it?"

Please bcc me if you like at [email protected]. I'd LOVE to know that you did this assignment.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/204

Show Notes:

I love to help you make more money. AND…For some of you, the biggest reasons you have for creating your own signature programs are not financial.

You want to create programs to tap into your purpose, to express your love for your communities, to experience and share joy, to resist oppressive forces, and on and on.

Our guest created a program for his community because he loves his community.

Dr. Damon Constantinides is a trans and queer sex coach, trainer, and writer offering services nationally. He is trained as a clinical social worker, sex therapist, and sexuality educator.

He created The Trans Masc Sexual Pleasure Group Coaching Program and he's recently launched the second cohort.

In this conversation he shares how he created the program, how he brings in participants, and how he's finding the energy and time to make it all happen in addition to running his private practice.

Here's some of what we talked about:

• Why creating this program was a reaction to attacks on trans folks
• Unhooking his ego from the business numbers
• How he makes his program accessible
• Specific ways he created safety for the participants and the group
• How he created the outline for the program and also keeps it flexible
• Marketing his program in a way that feels authentic and fun
• Working with folks from all over the US and beyond

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/203

Everyone is scared to launch their first program.

Someone asked recently: what if I'm REALLY scared to launch my program. Like…what if there are powerful individuals and structures out there who might want to do me harm?

What if putting myself out there associated with this work might actually be dangerous to me or my family?

GREAT question. Let's agree NOT to give it the usual online marketing answer: "Just do the mindset work."

This visibility stuff comes up for ALL of us. I have it. Everyone I've ever worked with has had work come up around their childhood, their upper limits, self esteem, or imposter syndrome.

We all need and deserve to do some important work around getting visible, using our voices, and taking up space.

AND…it's gaslighting to say it's the same for everyone.

When you are deciding to get more visible and you've got a marginalized identity or you're sharing messages that oppose our power structures, your visibility work is not just about getting out of your own way.

For example, if you're speaking out against anti-black racism or you're talking about fat liberation or trans liberation, you're being brave in a significant ADDITIONAL way.

My niche is not as risky. I'm a business coach & strategist. Yes, I'm queer and I'm a woman. AND I have lots of privilege: having money, being white, being cis-gendered… and on and on.

Even with all of that privilege, I absolutely need and deserve to have colleagues I can get really vulnerable with and feel through my own visibility and exposure fears. We all do.

In terms of this question: "What should I do if I'm REALLY afraid to launch my program? Should I switch niches? Should I move forward?"

I do not have the right answer for you. I don't think there is one.

Here are a couple things I'm pretty sure I DO know so that you can figure out your path.

ONE: Find people who really understand what you have at stake and can support you emotionally and spiritually.

If you're part of a marginalized group and/or if your work is related to opposing a power structure, you cannot do this alone.

What if those people who you need to go to for support as an entrepreneur are also afraid? That doesn't mean that they can't support you and that you can't support them. We need to give up on the idea that we must be totally through the woods before we can help others. It's just not true. We can actually have mutual support while we're figuring this stuff out.

Asking for help might mean saying: "Please stay on the phone with me while I work through what to do in this scary moment." Or "Please sit on my couch while I press send on this email."

TWO: Don't rush through your fear.

Feel the feelings that are coming up, and let the fear speak. Don't rush it to go away. Fear isn't the only force making decisions, but you can listen to it and allow it to have a seat at the table.

I've got a great example coming up on the podcast. Next time we'll be hearing from Dr. Damon Constantinides. He created a Trans Masc Sexual Pleasure group.

That's brave. Trans folks are always under attack, and especially right now. Damon talks in the episode about his decisions about creating his program and making his work visible.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/202

You ever wonder what's going on with the personal finances of entrepreneurs?

Like are they all just born wealthy?

How are they taking these risks and making these investments to grow these businesses?

My guest today is going to tell you how in a one year period she was able to clear $25,000 of credit card debt and save $55,000 for a house. She's gonna really get into the nitty gritty of it.

And no, she didn't grow up wealthy.

Meet Podge Thomas, a Notion Consultant and People Ops Specialist. She works with small business owners to build operational infrastructure through the lens of liberation and justice.

One of the businesses she has helped a ton is Rebel Therapist and I am proud to call Podge a friend.

Here's some of what we talked about:

• Podge's history of spending money as soon as she had it
• Identifying the ways she was getting in the way of her goals
• Finding a path forward financially with her wife
• Investing in working with a financial coach
• Growing up without money
• Unhooking her ability to spend money from her sense of worthiness
• The step by step plan Podge used to change her finances
• Using "envelope saving" to plan and track her finances
• How her new frugal mindset impacts her business
• How she decides what to invest her business dollars on
• How she and her wife chose a fixer upper and are fixing it up with their own 4 hands.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/201

I mentioned in episode 196: 332K Of Revenue With Over 2 Months Off that I've been engaging in some profound trauma healing, and that's changed the way I experience my business.

I've heard from many of you that you'd like to hear more.

This episode is all about how trauma healing has been changing just about everything about how I experience my work.

Although I avoid binaries, I talk about the difference between the old Annie (less healed) and the new Annie (more healed).

A few highlights:

• I've stopped trying to manage/control my participants' experiences as a way to feel safe.
• I still get anxious in moments, but I no longer identify myself as a constantly anxious person.
• I'm more straightforward with my participants and tell them the truth about what I see in their businesses right away. (And they can handle it!)
• I'm more patient with the process my participants go through as they build their businesses. I embrace the beautiful nuance you each bring to your work.
• I'm asking for help when I'm struggling, rather than reporting when I've got it all figured out.
• I'm more transparent about what's going on in my own business and life, rather than trying to make everything seem perfect.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/200

You want to run a group program? One common question from my participants is: "What skills do I need to learn in order to facilitate a group really well?"

I've got someone here on the pod to share her unique process of leading large groups in an expansive, liberated and trauma informed way.

Introducing Tracy Gantlin-Monroy.

Tracy Gantlin Monroy is a licensed professional counselor and resident therapist at Grace Community Counseling & Social Services in Atlanta, Georgia. She is a brain-wise, body therapist passionate about trauma healing. Tracy is the first Black female Brainspotting trainer in the world having been mentored by Dr. David Grand, founder & Developer of Brainspotting. Tracy also runs healing retreats for Black women.

Her attendees call Tracy engaging, loving and caring, and they talk about feeling safe in her groups even when they don't USUALLY feel safe in groups.

You're about to hear how she does it.

You'll hear how she prepares for trainings, holds people as an empath, and teaches at the speed of safety.

Here's some of what we talked about:

• How Tracy brings her authentic energy and intentionality to public speaking
• The ritual she goes through every time she presents a three-day training
• How she creates safety and dismantles power dynamics in the entire large group
• How she calls participants in when they step in it or cause harm

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/199

I got a message from one of the grads of Create Your Program recently saying that she was in the middle of launching her program. She said that launching was both a soul expanding and soul draining experience.

I want to talk about some ways to protect and take care of your soul while you're launching your program.

First I'll define "launch": The time when registration is open for a time limited with a deadline, and the things you do to promote your program during that time.

When we're launching, we're opening ourselves up to a lot of different feelings and voices, both internal and external.

Some of these feelings and voices can be really painful.

Scarcity, shame, and fear can come in.

We might have thoughts like :

"Who am I to offer this?"

"What if no one signs up?"

"I'm annoying people."

Some of these feelings and voices are exciting.

You might feel joy that you're offering a wonderful program, and excitement that people are asking questions and signing up. You might have fun talking about your program and getting to run a free event.

You might feel abundance as people sign up and as you give great stuff away.

I've found that I need to manage my energy and feelings during a launch.

Here are some things that work for me and lots of my clients:

Allow yourself to feel your feelings and don't tell yourself that you're doing something wrong if you feel stressed. That only adds judgement to stress.

And at the same time…

Remember that you are not your launch. Say it to yourself. I am not my business and I am certainly not my launch.

Don't compare the inside of your launch to the outside of other people's launches. The tough moments of a launch are usually not visible.

Don't count on this one launch to pay the bills.

See if you can set up your business so that it doesn't live and die by this one launch financially. If you get less people than you hoped, you can be disappointed, but don't let that destroy your finances.

Track and know your numbers.

Some good numbers to track from launch to launch are:

The number of people on your email list at the start of your launch

The number of people on your waitlist when you open registration (if you've got one)

The number of people who signed up for your free event during the launch

The number of people who attended your free event

The number of people who viewed your sales page during your launch

When you've got that data, you can compare it from launch to launch and the process will feel less like a mystery.

Plan your launch at least a month ahead of time.

Create a calendar of what you will do to promote your program.

Plan to send more emails than you are probably comfortable with.

(Remember that you're sending these to the people who are interested in your program. Tailor your launch experience for the people who are most interested in your program, not the people most likely to unsubscribe from your list.)

Pre-schedule those emails and do everything you can ahead of time so you're not taking action from a pressured place during your launch.

Stick to your plan.

Don't panic and remove things from your launch calendar. Don't panic and add a bunch of things.

Repeat your launch.

You don't need to rewrite every single email from scratch.

You don't need to create a totally new free event.

Make small tweaks each time you launch rather than exhausting yourself with a totally new plan each time.

Create a document where you place your intentions.

Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down what you most want for your participants, What you'll be creating for them, how you want them to feel as they go through your program, and any other intentions you'd like to set.

Then create a blank spot for each participant you'd like to have in the program. Draw an empty oval or rectangle for each one. As they sign up, fill in their names.

This is just for your own private use. It's a physical place to represent your launch and your program.

Remember that you don't know how your launch went til it's over.

Once I spent most of a 2-week launch feeling bummed out because my program wasn't filling.

Then it totally filled in the final 48 hours.

I realized I'd never get that time back.

Now I return to that memory when I start to think I know how a launch is going before it's over.

Set your schedule in a way that will support you during your launch.

Maybe that means working less during your launch because you expect to feel distracted.

Tell your loved ones how to support you during your launch.

This might mean: "Remind me that I am not my launch. Remind me that I don't know how it went until it's over."

Give yourself a big dose of credit at the end of your launch for doing the things you decided to do, NOT just for the results.

If your launch has ended and your program didn't fill, go listen to episode 162: When Your Program Doesn't Fill.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/198

Heidi Savell is a therapist and polyamory coach. She helps those newish to polyamory find more steadiness and fulfillment in their relationships.

You're about to hear about the business she's created beyond her therapy practice, how she built it and why she loves running her program.

Heidi's giving us a masterclass on using Tiktok and Instagram to move the needle on your business.

She gets 40-80 people per month from Tiktok and IG over to her email list.

10 out of 12 of her last participants came from those platforms.

You'll hear exactly how she's created those referrals.

As Heidi points out, she is not working to become an influencer, and her main goal is NOT to grow her Tiktok or IG following. Rather, she's an educator, and she uses these social media platforms to help people and to grow her business. Her primary work happens in her program, not on social media.

You'll hear Heidi and I talk about why I use social media very little and she uses it quite a lot but how we are running similar businesses in a fundamental way.

You'll also hear how Heidi developed her voice and her message by using it, how she deals with critics, and how she finds the right level of vulnerability for online sharing.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/197

This episode is all about my 2022 year in review in my business.

I needed a minute to reflect and prepare this for you, hence the March release date.

Listen right here if you like, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Some highlights.

My gross revenue for 2022 was just shy of 332,000

That's my biggest year yet, 78,000 over 2021.

I took a 2 month sabbatical as well as several other weeks off throughout the year.

And my biggest highlight:

WAY less hypervigilance thanks to trauma healing!

It turns out I was living in hypervigilance while doing a decent impression of a calm person.

I didn't know this because I didn't have anything to compare my feeling state to. I just thought that was how I was.

I might talk more in upcoming episodes about the way trauma had been impacting my work and my business and how healing is changing my work and my business.

For now I'll say, I'm in a really different spot!

Work feels easier and more joyful. I'm less worried about how everyone is doing every moment. And whether I'm disappointing anyone.

This is making my coaching better, more direct, super honest, and still very kind.

And also I'm more unapologetically confident about how phenomenal my programs are.

Also in this episode:

What Rebel Therapist spent the most money on and what we gave us the best ROI

My take-home pay

What I did to make our programs even better

My goals for the next few years

Which of our marketing activities have brought in the most participants

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/196

Want to start a membership community? Have you thought about creating a paid community about a topic you care deeply about? I'm glad you're here. My guest this week founded and runs a membership for Trauma Therapists called Trauma Therapist Network.

You'll hear an honest break down of exactly how she created it, how the membership works, how she brings in new members, and what you need to have in place before you consider starting a membership community of your own.

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C is an integrative trauma therapist, group practice owner, podcaster, consultant and coach. In 2021 she founded Trauma Therapist Network, a membership community where trauma therapists can gather for support while building their therapy skills. She hosts Therapy Chat and Trauma Chat podcasts and lives in Maryland with her husband, 2 dogs and a cat.

Here's some of what we talked about:

• How the Trauma Therapist Network was born
• Hiring people to set up the website
• Changing the primary focus from therapist directory to supportive membership for therapists
• Why she made a FAST and large pivot to more frequent meetings in the network
• Creating themed weekly meetings
• Doing a founding member launch at a lower price to build the program
• Getting up past 100 members
• Choosing to keep the platform simple
• Annie's messaging advice
• How Laura launches Trauma Therapist Network
• Sharing TTN with her HUGE podcast audience
• Laura's fears about selling and her tendency to hide
• Laura's team support for the network
• How many hours Laura works in the network

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/195