Heart of Man | Men's Leadership, Relationships and Intimacy

Being nice can be one of the most effective ways we learn to stay safe in the world, but also, with that, one of the most costly...

For this episode, an anonymous guest sat down with me in a live coaching session to face the honest realities of this.

This man had come to the podcast feeling like he couldn’t bring himself fully into the world.

There was an incongruency between who he knew himself to be and how he portrayed himself on the outside: a common challenge that I see with many of the men I work with.

What surfaced was a childhood of neglect, with parents moving through their own difficult experiences, that had left him feeling like he was too much, like his needs were a burden.

Alongside that came a disconnection from his clarity and anger, and with that, his power.

As we see here, maintaining this illusion of niceness has come at a great cost, and this session looks intimately at the impact it is now having on his life.

Over time, we arrive at what sits in the gap between who we are and what we present on the outside: shame.

And the less willing we're to feel it, the bigger the mask has to become.

In this episode discover:

• How starting school a year younger than everyone around him left him carrying the identity of the little boy, and how the roles we take on early can follow us into adulthood

• How growing up the youngest of three, with an overwhelmed mother, taught him to keep his needs to himself, and why so many of us learn to avoid being a burden

• What growing up with an angry father taught him about anger

• Why your anger itself is neutral, and how shame gets stacked on top of it

• Why reconnecting with your power can bring up sadness and grief

• How the nice guy who keeps everyone comfortable ends up exhausted, and why criticism stings so much when you’re wearing that mask

• Why your willingness to feel shame is a prerequisite for leading and showing up powerfully

• Why you cannot be powerful if you cannot accept feeling powerless at times

• How the urge to prove yourself keeps reinforcing the very insecurity you are trying to escape

What stayed with me most was the moment, he recognized that shame doesn’t have to be his enemy.

That it could become a friend, the same way his anger could.

Even while choosing to remain anonymous, he let himself be seen more fully than many of us ever allow, and I hold deep respect for the courage that took.

This episode's for anyone who has worked so hard at being liked that they've quietly lost touch with their anger, power, and the person underneath the mask.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

Justin Patrick Pierce is back for his third round on Heart of Man, and this conversation is just as good as our first two...

For those new to his work, Justin is a sacred intimacy teacher who co-founded the Yoga of Intimacy with his wife, Londin Angel Winters.

Our first conversation touched on desire itself and how we can use it deliberately to enliven our love life...

In our second, Londin joined us to explore keeping the fire alive long-term in partnership...

And in this conversation, we examine the common conflict, especially within a lot of high performers:

this persistent question around how we can feel more free, specifically how we can experience freedom regardless of our circumstances.

Many men attempt to get there through external means, whether it's through building status, power, or influence.

Others might pursue it through optionality with women: variety, and not wanting to be tied down to one woman.

And what we examine is how the underlying pain of not feeling free and the actions we take from that place actually intensify the experience of not feeling free.

We also explore how we can actually work with this inner conflict in ourselves through an exploration of the inner marriage.

Here, Justin brings me through a guided practice:

and this one gets raw. It gets real. It gets vulnerable, as I reveal the inner battles I was experiencing with myself before I left Bali.

And if that's not enough, rest assured, things get spicy towards the end of our interview, where Justin offers us a preview of his upcoming book.

In this conversation, discover:

• Why desire is a quiet rejection of the present moment, showing up as "not enough" or "too much"

• How a deck of cards took Justin from perceiving he feels nothing to becoming emotionally literate

• What the inner marriage is: the relationship between the part of you that judges and the part that feels

• The feelings that are often underneath a man's anger

• A live practice where Justin guides me through my fear before leaving Bali

• Why no amount of success or recognition will make you feel seen if you cannot see yourself

• How to put your inner critic to work instead of being ruled by it

• A first look at the Seven Scales of Sexual Desire: grounded body, directive breath, and commanding voice

What stuck with me personally is how much of my own striving has been an attempt to be seen as a good man. To be of use. To be of value.

And in our 15-minute practice together, I had the chance to find all of that acknowledgement in myself...

This episode's for anyone who's chased freedom through success, status, or women, and still feels trapped.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

—

Connect with Justin:

◼ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.justinpatrickpierce.com/⁠

◼ Yoga of Intimacy: ⁠https://yogaofintimacy.co/⁠

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justinpatrickpierce/?hl=de

◼ Read Justin's widely acclaimed co-authored book "Playing with Fire": ⁠https://a.co/d/0g8ovHdB⁠

◼ Read The Awakened Woman’s Guide to Everlasting Love: ⁠https://a.co/d/0fGmJZAA⁠

◼ Join Justin's Live Online Group Calls:  ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/yogaofintimacy

Life as a man can be tough...

We get flooded with messages on who to be & how to act, all while we carry the constant pressure to lead, provide & perform.

And so, as a response, we adapt...

At the extremes, certain men do this by cutting themselves off from qualities in themselves that are considered masculine, because the narrative is that masculinity or being masculine is toxic.

Other men swing to the other extreme, cutting themselves off from qualities like gentleness and openheartedness, being told that such qualities are effeminate, weak or non-masculine.

Both sides of the spectrum learn what lets them stay part of the tribe, keeps them relevant, and gets their needs met.

Another way to say this is we learn what works and gets us results...

But in all the men I've spoken to, this has come with a heavy price...

Somewhere along the way of becoming somebody for everybody else, they've cut themselves off from essential aspects of themselves and became a nobody to themselves.

Eventually, the ways that they've adapted from who they are, the very things that might have brought them external success, begin to backfire:

• The closeness and intimacy you once had in your relationship is no longer there, and you don't know why.

  
  

• Conflicts are increasing, and you feel at a loss for what your partner is really asking from you.

  
  

• You feel tired because you perceive you're doing everything you can, and it's still not enough. She's still not happy.

  
  

• You react in ways that you're not proud of, but don't know how to respond differently.

  
  

• No matter how much you achieve, it's difficult to separate your worth from what you do. And with that, it never feels like enough.

  
  

• And perhaps you now stand there, realizing you have everything you said you've always wanted, asking yourself, "Is this really it?"

  
  

The question is:

How can you lead a life that you don't feel you need to escape from?

How can you create a life that's worth living?

A life where you don't just feel like a leader in your business or vocation, but in every area of your life, whether it's your personal, love, or work life.

Where you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, look yourself in the eyes, and say:

"I am proud of you."

And really mean it.

Heart of Man is my answer.

This channel is for the man ready to reclaim who he is at his core & learn what it means to live fully embodied in leadership, love and life.

Who wants to move powerfully through the world, no longer using his compensations as a crutch to appear strong, but rather wants to know how he can lead with embodied strength by being deeply in contact with who he is.

Join men's relationship coach & breathwork teacher Alex Lehmann in raw conversations with world-class leaders in men’s work, relationships, intimacy and embodiment, exploring an integrated path for the modern man.

In this coaching session, I had the privilege of sitting down with Sebastian for an in-depth conversation about rejection, the fear of being rejected, and the ways we can end up rejecting ourselves in the process.

Our session began with Sebastian sharing a recent encounter with a woman he connected with at a retreat.

As we explored what happened, he recognised early on that he was the very person who rejected himself before she ever had the opportunity to do so.

Him sharing that experience opened the door to a much deeper pattern within Sebastian, one that had shaped much of his life.

Together, we explored the ways Sebastian had learned to present himself throughout his life in order to earn approval, recognition, and acceptance.

We traced this pattern back to childhood, including the experiences that taught him that distinct aspects of himself, such as his softness, love, and vulnerability, were not welcome.

This became an opportunity to examine the ways he was still meeting himself with rejection, harshness, and the demand to be different.

We explored what it could look like to meet fear directly, to be with it, and to reconnect with the parts of himself he had learned to push away.

In this coaching session, we explore:

• How Sebastian misread a moment with a woman at a retreat and rejected himself before she ever could

• The childhood story that taught him his love and softness weren't welcome

• Why meeting fear, rather than overriding it, is essential to developing genuine confidence

• The difference between strength that comes from propping ourselves up and strength that comes from embracing all aspects of ourselves

• What it looks like to choose yourself, regardless of how anyone else responds

• What emerged for Sebastian during the breathwork session and the insights he took away

What moved me most was watching Sebastian realise that the very parts of himself he judged the most actually hold some of his greatest sources of strength and power.

This episode's for anyone who's spent their life protecting themselves from rejection and fear, without fully recognising the ways they may have been rejecting themselves.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

Max Trombly is back on Heart of Man, and this one goes deep and gets fiery.

We're talking suppressed joy, men staying unconsciously stuck in the Prince phase, why committing to one woman can actually become a source of liberation rather than constraint, and what happens when a man's sexual energy keeps leaking into the pursuit of more.

For those who missed our first conversation, Max is a devoted husband, father, and transformational life coach based in New Orleans, guiding men and women toward lives of authentic expression, depth, and fulfilling purpose in relationship.

In our first episode together, we explored his own journey out of an unfulfilling marriage and into the clarity that eventually led him to his wife and the family he'd always wanted.

Since then, I've had the chance to meet Max and learn from him as part of the Embodied Masculine Leadership Training led by John Wineland, where Max served as one of the lead teachers.

That container was transformative for me, and it's part of what brought this conversation into being.

At the center of this conversation is a threshold most men never fully cross:

• Moving beyond the Prince phase.

At its core, the Prince is still oriented toward self-development, exploration, and satisfying his own wants. He may be doing plenty of inner work and having meaningful experiences, yet still remains unconsciously focused on himself.

And as a result, he can struggle to build something deeper that may actually be what he truly longs for.

A relationship he can fully commit to. A life with roots. A family. A meaningful impact.

In this conversation, Max makes the case that the way through isn't necessarily through focusing on more: more experience, more variety, more chasing.

It's about doing our own deep work, reclaiming our joy, containing our own energy, knowing who we really are, and ultimately becoming willing to commit ourselves fully to what we choose.

In this conversation, discover:

• Why joy is a choice, and why so many men are afraid to fully feel it

• What "energetic agility" means and why it matters for men who lead at home and at work

• The archetypal path from Page to Knight to Prince, and why so many men get stuck in Prince

• The "Eat, Pray, Love" trap of chasing self-focused experiences and calling it growth

• Why choosing one woman can become the greatest act of liberation, rather than a constraint

• What masculine stewardship actually looks like inside a marriage and a family

• What "leaky sexual energy" is and why it can quietly drain a man's attention, vitality, and power

• How Max keeps his sexual energy contained and directed fully toward his relationship

I loved sitting with Max in this one.

What struck me most about him is his refusal to sugarcoat any of it, and his willingness to boldly speak to what he's seeing. I believe it's that penetrative clarity that made this conversation hit home so deeply.

This conversation's for anyone who found themselves stuck in a cycle of chasing experience after experience without feeling fully satisfied, and who is longing to find a path toward something deeper.

—

Connect with Alex :

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a connection call (Two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

—

Connect with Max:

◼ Website: https://ashiftinbeing.com/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maxtrombly

◼ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/A-Shift-In-Being-61562674527288/

◼ Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maxtrombly

In this coaching session, I have the great pleasure of sitting down with Ryan to explore the weight he's been carrying for over 16 years in his pursuit of performance and achievement.

And what was quietly underneath it all was a deep yearning to be seen. To know that he matters and that he is important.

Early in our session, Ryan began dropping into the exhaustion and pain of no longer being able to carry the mask he'd built to protect himself from a young age.

What we uncovered traced back to Ryan being 15 years old, when he was cut from his football team.

Beneath that experience was a deep fear that his father's love was conditional on him remaining the football star.

From this event, which left him in shock, he developed a need to perform, chase attention, and prove that he was good enough.

His sense of worth became increasingly dependent on being seen, being significant, and being impressive.

And while this strategy had served him since he was a teenager, we could clearly see how the protectors we develop early in life eventually become masks that drain us and prevent us from fully being ourselves.

Throughout this session, you'll witness the raw and vulnerable experience of Ryan beginning to let go of his mask as I support him on that journey.

Here, you see the beautiful and insightful experience of a man dropping the masks that are no longer serving him, stepping into deeper self-leadership, and bringing the different parts of himself into relationship.

It was an incredible honour to witness Ryan over this period.

In this coaching session, we explore:

• Why Ryan has felt the need to perform and chase attention for over 16 years

• The day he was cut from his football team at 15, and the impact that experience had on him

• The moment his fiancée told him he loved attention more than money, and what that revealed for him

• The two parts inside of him: the performer who longs to impress, and the dreamer who needed to escape his pain

• How the fear of not being good enough can make it difficult to ever relax into ourselves

• The role of shame, and how allowing ourselves to stay present with it can actually bring us closer to connection rather than pushing us away from it

• What it now looks like for Ryan to stop trying to earn his worth and simply allow himself to be

• What came up for him during the breathwork journey at the end of the session

I was deeply touched by Ryan's capacity to step so fully and deeply into the session, offering a powerful example of the courage it takes to allow ourselves to be truly seen.

If you've ever struggled to show up fully as yourself, or found yourself caught in the exhausting pursuit of proving your worth, I believe this session will absolutely be for you.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

"Many men would say I would die for you, but what your kids really need is for you to live for them."

These are the moving words from my next guest and dear friend, Rasmus Ingerslev.

Rasmus is a Danish entrepreneur who spent three decades building two of Europe's largest health club groups, fitness dk and Fresh Fitness, before founding Wexer Virtual, which serves many of the world's leading club groups.

He's chaired IHRSA, the Health and Fitness Association, and has been named one of Denmark's top CEOs.

Today, he channels that same drive into his most recent venture, Manhug Coaching, helping men rebuild who they are at their core from the ground up.

But underneath the many impressive accolades, accomplishments, and external success is a deep and raw past, from which much of his drive was fuelled.

I feel honoured to share this raw conversation with him, going deep into his personal story and exploring the experiences that shaped him, from the 11-year-old boy who wanted to end his life after enduring physical abuse, sexual abuse, and bullying, to the man he's become today.

Early on, he instinctively decided that he was the only person he could actually rely on, building an armour first through his physicality and eventually through a business empire.

But it was moving through his divorce, where the image of 'having it all' began to fall apart, that finally demanded he go all in on the work he'd spent his whole life trying to outrun.

This eventually led him towards the work he offers today, forged within the foundation of extensive psychotherapy, psychedelics, somatic therapy, tantra, and couples work.

I first met Rasmus at a tantra retreat three years ago and felt an immediate connection with him, seeing in him a man almost 20 years older who'd lived both the heights of success and the depths of failure, with a deep drive to face the parts of himself he'd long avoided.

I feel fortunate to say our connection has only deepened since...

In our podcast together, we explore an underlying question that many men rarely ask:

"What do you do when you've got everything you thought you wanted and needed, but it doesn't fill the emptiness from within?"

In our conversation, discover:

• How a childhood filled with neglect and abuse led to Rasmus's incessant drive to build a physical armor and business empire.

• How performance and achievement become a way of trying to prove we're good enough, and why it never works.

• The moment Rasmus realized his life had been driven by the operating system of a little boy.

• His experience of moving through infidelity and how it prompted him towards doing the deeper work.

• How he plunged into therapeutic and self-development disciplines of every kind to try to save his marriage, and what he discovered about himself in the process.

• Rasmus's personal insights around the journey of moving from suffering to surviving to thriving, and his lived recognitions of the type of father he wants to be.

Of all the podcasts I've done, this has been one of my favourites, moving me deeply to tears.

As many of you might know, I put a lot of work into my podcast, but if there is one that I really encourage you to watch, it's this one.

This episode's for anyone who's done everything imaginable to fill the void from within, but was never able to get the results they were hoping for.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Rasmus:

◼ Website: https://manhugcoaching.com/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ringerslev/

In this live coaching session, you'll have the opportunity to listen to the challenges Ali is navigating as we explore the loss of connection and attraction in his romantic partnership.

What initially looked like a strong circumstantial change that shifted their dynamic turned out to be something completely different, as we explored Ali's contribution to this dynamic.

What we discovered is how much of it traces back to difficult experiences he's navigated, through which he has had to adapt and learn how to protect himself.

And while it might have supported him at one stage of his life, it was now leading to a breakdown in the closeness he was experiencing with his partner, and the attraction.

Discover here how painful experiences with our family can teach us a sense of self-reliance, something I observe with many men, and how ruptures in our connections can lead us to unconsciously distance ourselves from the closeness we actually crave from our partners.

If you listen closely, I'd argue that this is going to be a session many of you might be able to relate to...

To me, it highlights that powerful leadership isn't just about the ways we lead and direct areas such as the provision for our relationships, but rather, it often begins by honestly assessing the aspects we're quietly carrying that are impacting our connection.

This one was for sure a relatable one for me, and I know for many high performers I work with as well.

Here you get to discover the vulnerable story of a man who's father tried to take his own life when he was 18, how a five year relationship ended at the height of his addiction, and how his nervous system learned early on that other people's wellbeing was his job and his alone.

In this coaching session, find out:

• The big life shift that changed the dynamic between Ali and his partner

• How he went from being her lover to feeling like her caregiver

• The night his father's suicide attempt left him feeling responsible for others

• How over responsibility can turn into a lifelong habit of self-reliance and not being able to receive

• How ruptures in the relationship taught him to no longer be available for connection

• Why always being the one to lead can actually be a way of avoiding being let down

• Why praising a woman for who she is, not just what she does, can entirely change the dynamic

• What came up for him during the breathwork journey that closed out the session

I carry deep respect and appreciation for Ali's willingness to bring this topic so openly to our recorded session.

To me, it takes a big man to admit what's not working in the relationship, especially around sensitive topics such as love and attraction, and to have the willingness to examine his part.

This episode's for anyone who's built their worth around being the one who's always got themselves, and has never stopped to ask what it might cost them to not allow themselves to need someone.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

Jord Cuiper returns, and this one came straight off the back of our last conversation.

After a vibrant discussion in our last episode, we had a personal check in, sharing how the experience was for both of us.

I shared some honest reflections, and it became clear there was more worth exploring, leading us to this follow up.

At the core of this episode we examine the developmental journey that many high achievers and high performers will recognize:

First, there's the path of relentless pursuit, often driven by the basic needs we have not yet owned, and the self-protective patterns we have developed along the way.

Then comes a second path toward alignment, toward how we feel in the moment, and toward following one's inner truth. But eventually, even that second path can become its own constraint.

Because from that place, alignment starts to override one's innate drive toward creation and ambition, but also an honest relationship with reality itself.

And it's from that place where the pursuit of the third mountain actually begins, which is what we fundamentally focus on in this interview.

For those who have not listened to the last episode, my encouragement is to do so, but it's not a requirement.

In this conversation, find out:

• How the alignment you worked hard to build can end up holding you back

• The difference between working hard out of fear and working hard because it genuinely matters to you

• How resistance to difficulty can drain you more than the difficulty itself

• The two first mountains: moving from achievement to alignment, and what's waiting on the other side of both

• Why keeping your cup full is not the goal, and why pouring it out for something you care about is where real fulfillment comes from

• The difference between a value and a principle

• How to build systems that let you pursue big goals without losing the people who matter most

• Jord's "more cowbells" principle, and what it means to be the kind of man who shows up for others

This was one of my more personally raw conversations I've had on this podcast, and I'm grateful to Jord for allowing the space for that.

This episode's for anyone who's done the deep inner work yet found themselves, somewhere along the way, at war with their own ambition.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Jord:

◼ Website: https://www.jordcuiper.com/

◼ Check out "Ara 2": https://www.ara2.ai/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordcuiper/

◼ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jord-cuiper-25b25a14/⁠

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Jord Cuiper: The One Thing Stopping You From Actually Changing | EP 80: https://open.spotify.com/episode/79i0kTIeJ0oCjrQc0yWCMQ?si=53c35b9219cc4028

Jord Cuiper: Stepping Into Self-Leadership | EP 1: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/episode/2xbdDWEghQppWavOXFEfJF

Jord Cuiper is back for his 2nd round, and this interview feels like a full-circle moment, considering he was part of the first episode I ever published.

He's an executive and self-leadership coach with over a decade of experience working with founders, business owners & high-level professionals across the world.

As I see it, his work cuts straight to the core of what actually holds people back:

◾ The blind spots they cannot see in themselves, the self-protective patterns they might have built over a lifetime, and the foundational values they've disconnected from.

In his own life, Jord founded his first tech company at 24, scaling it from zero to a seven-figure business serving clients across Europe.

Then, in 2018, a near-fatal health crisis forced him to step down from the business and confront the aspects of himself that led him to this definitive moment, requiring him to completely rebuild his life from the ground up.

And this became the very foundation of the work he provides today...

Back in the beginning of 2024, I went through a defining period myself, where my business scaled 2x, and at the same time I was constantly overwhelmed, needing to confront the fact that I was at the brink of burnout, even though I was deeply trained within the understandings of the nervous system.

I reached out to him, knowing if someone could help me through this time, it would be him.

That led to him becoming my coach over a 16-month period, guiding me toward building a deeper form of self-leadership from the inside out. The shifts I made during that time were foundational, and I carry much of what we built together into my work to this day.

In this episode, Jord and I return to the core of his work:

Why change is harder than we think, why knowing is never enough, and what it actually takes to stop the pattern and step into something more self-led.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why doing more work on yourself can actually be a way of avoiding the one thing that actually needs to change

• Why knowing what needs to shift and actually shifting it are two completely different things

• How the identity you're most proud of can become the biggest obstacle to real change

• The difference between what you value and what you need, and why confusing the two keeps men stuck

• What it actually looks like to move from boy psychology to man psychology in daily life

• When to push through and when to ease off, and how to tell the difference

• What Jord learned about himself when injury took his passion for running away and forced him to stop

I loved this conversation with Jord...

He's direct, honest, and practically grounded in a way that only comes from having walked one's own path. I hold deep respect for the work he's done on himself and continues to bring to the people he serves.

This episode is for anyone who's done the work, listened to the podcasts, attended the circles, yet still feels like something essential has not changed.

—

Connect with Alex :

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Jord:

◼ Website: https://www.jordcuiper.com

◼ Check out "Ara 2": https://www.ara2.ai/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordcuiper/

◼ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jord-cuiper-25b25a14/

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Jord Cuiper: Stepping Into Self-Leadership | EP 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2xbdDWEghQppWavOXFEfJF