Heart of Man | Men's Leadership, Relationships and Intimacy

Om Rupani is back for his second round on Heart of Man...

And today, I'm very excited to address this exact topic with him through his background in BDSM, which I see is very prevalent in the lives of many men:

Nice Guy Syndrome.

When I completed his seven day BDSM Fundamentals training last year, it was a transformative experience for me, and one of the first things I recognised was how powerful it was to resolve any remaining remnants of myself still navigating the Nice Guy Mask.

On the podcast, we've had Dr. Robert Glover, who wrote the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy," on the show twice. But today, we'll have the opportunity to look at this through the lens of someone who supports individuals every day to become better leaders through the medium of BDSM, which I see offers him a unique perspective.

For those who need a refresher:

Om Rupani is a teacher, author, and speaker who's been teaching about BDSM, polarity, and man–woman relating for almost 2 decades.

He's also the author of Prerequisites to Ecstasy, a no-nonsense guide exploring what it truly takes to create the love and intimacy we say we want.

Today, his work focuses on helping men embody their masculinity with confidence and depth, supporting women in cultivating passionate, harmonious relationships with their men, and guiding singles and couples to consciously integrate elements of BDSM into their intimacy.

In this conversation, Om and I explore:

• What the Nice Guy persona is, and why it functions as a mask to control how others see you

• How it forms through the mother wound and the absence of strong fathers

• Why physical training alone misses the point, and what actually dissolves this pattern

• The distinction between domineering and dominant, and what genuine leadership requires

• Why BDSM is the clearest way Om knows to teach containment

• The three categories of dominance and submission

• Why a woman will only surrender to a man whose leadership genuinely improves her life

• Learning to be at peace with who you are, and letting people see you

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Om and this work touchrs directly on what so many men don't recognize they're carrying:

the identity they feel required to uphold in order to be seen as worthy, feel safe, and get their needs met.

Please note this conversation might be triggering to some of you, as this work was initially with me.

Whether you agree or not, my encouragement is to stay open and notice what arises within you.

Over time, that very approach has supported me in discovering deeper truth about what I value, what I care about, and who I am.

This episode is for anyone who's spent years performing goodness while quietly suppressing who they actually are, and who is ready to stop letting the fear of disapproval run their life.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (Two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Om:

◼ Learn more about Om's upcoming retreat: https://omrupani.org/#/dscouples

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omrupani1

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/OmRupani

◼ Listen to Om's Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/66UofO9yMSCIm5AyyXg4yO?si=5e085ac13b9e4b30

◼ Read Om's Book "Prerequisites to Ecstasy": https://www.amazon.com/Prerequisites-Ecstasy-No-Nonsense-Really-Create/dp/1521533768

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Om Rupani: What BDSM Can Teach Us About Becoming Better Leaders | EP 59: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3cXc0zMCrJQnvCZvDhiJ3E

Igor Vamadeva Kufayev is an artist, spiritual master and teacher whose work is dedicated to the potential inherent in human birth.

Following a radical transformation of consciousness and the spontaneous unfolding of grace in his mid-thirties, culminating in a fully embodied Self-recognition, he has since served as a conduit of transmission for awakening into the new era of heart-centered consciousness.

His live gatherings, extended programmes known as immersions, are renowned for their intensity, clarity and catalytic potential.

Drawing from Tantric Śaivism, direct energetic transmission and somatic integration, his work offers a compelling contribution to contemporary understanding of spiritual evolution.

Originally trained as a painter, Igor bridges scholarship, poetic articulation and lived realisation. Today, he is the author of Camatkāra: The Hidden Path (2023) and KUṆḌALINĪ: The Goddess as the Power of Self-Recognition in Tantric Śaivism (2026).

As a householder and family man, Igor is lovingly raising his three children with his partner Amrita Ma Devi.

He continues to guide an international community of practitioners, developing frameworks for exploring the fullest potential of awakened embodiment.

We come together for this conversation at a time when the challenges facing men seem more pressing than ever.

And as I see it, the crisis men are navigating today runs deeper than most conversations are willing to explore.

The loss of rites of passage, masculine mentorship, the living transmission of what it means to be a man. These aren't things that can be recovered through surface level approaches. They require a deeper reckoning.

In this episode, Igor and I explore:

• Why the crisis of masculinity runs deeper than what meets the eye, and where it actually begins

• What men lost when rites of passage, the warrior spirit, and masculine mentorship disappeared from modern life

• Igor's personal story

• What masculine and feminine energy actually are, and why every man carries both

• What it means to be a spiritual warrior, and how that quality shows up in the ordinary demands of daily life

• Why a man's true strength lives in his heart, and how courage and forgiveness come from the same place

• How to face uncertainty without collapsing or hardening

• What mature masculinity actually looks like: unwavering on principle, and open in the heart

I found myself deeply touched and enlivened by this conversation with Igor...

What I experienced in him was something deeply rare: the quality of a man who has been tested by life at every level and has remained open hearted.

I hold deep reverence for the path he's walked and the work he brings into the world.

This episode is for any man who has felt lost within the structures of our modern times, and would like to understand, at the deepest level, the root of these challenges and how to move forwards...

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (Two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Igor:

◼ Website: https://igorkufayev.org/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/igorkufayev/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlowingWakefulness

◼ Live Immersions & Events: https://igorkufayev.org/events

◼ Read Camatkāra: The Hidden Path: https://songpublishing.org/product/camatkara-softcover/

◼ Read KUṆḌALINĪ: The Goddess as the Power of Self-Recognition in Tantric Śaivism: https://songpublishing.org/product/kundalini/?v=b6bb43df4525

◼ Explore Flowing Wakefulness: https://igorkufayev.org/flowing-wakefulness/

Disclaimer: Due to a studio change and some equipment issues, the audio quality in this episode isn't what you're used to from Heart of Man. My team has done the best with what we had. I can however say with absolute confidence, the conversation itself was worth every minute. I hope you feel the same.

Gil 'the Grid' Gomes Leal is the founder and artistic director of the Amenti dance collective and creator of the Amenti MoveMeant method.

As a choreographer, performer, and movement teacher drawing from hip hop, African embodiment, Jungian psychology, and shadow work, Gil now incorporates movement as a form of medicine, connecting others to the inherent wisdom of their body.

Gil grew up inside a Jehovah's Witness household in Rotterdam, where the joy, freedom, and expression he found through dance became a direct threat to his sense of belonging...

It was within those early years of tension between attachment and his authentic expression that the foundation of everything he now teaches was laid...

Through workshops, immersions, and trainings, Gil works alongside the Amenti collective with individuals to access their innate intelligence, guiding them towards deeper empowerment and healing of incomplete past experiences.

I attended one of Amenti's workshops in Bali last year and was struck, as a somatic practitioner myself, by the potent places I got to access through this movement method.

At the core of this conversation is a question Gil and I keep returning to:

• how can we move through experiences where we may have been legitimately victimized, and come into a felt embodiment of our agency and power, which I would argue is our birthright.

We explore how this can be reclaimed through movement, shadow work, and the willingness to stop identifying as a victim of our story and start taking responsibility for it.

In this episode, find out:

• How Gil's childhood within the Jehovah's Witnesses shaped him

• The value of the pain teacher, and what it teaches

• Why authenticity requires the willingness to lose people, and the cost of choosing attachment over truth

• The link between unresolved trauma and powerlessness, and how the body can become the access towards agency

• The difference between being victimized by an event and adopting the victim identity as a way of life

• Why anger is such a foundational emotion to work with, and the wisdom it carries

• Why fundamental safety can never be a given, and why the focus according to Gil is about creating brave spaces rather than safe ones

I loved this conversation with Gil, and admire the way he was fuelled by his own pain, making incredible art out of it that individuals worldwide now get to benefit from.

This episode is for anyone who has spent years feeling like life is happening to them, and is ready to step into the truth that it no longer has to.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Gil 'the Grid' Gomes Leal:

🌐 Amenti Collective: https://www.amenti.world/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gilthegrid/

📸 Instagram (Amenti): https://www.instagram.com/amenti.world/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmentiMovemeant

—

🔥 Episodes you might enjoy:

Charles Myssy: Shadow Work, Self-Sabotage & Breaking Free From The Patterns Running Your Life | EP 76: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0o7RSS2SerQcmAAU3y2b94?si=whi24n2_QSOcrcFCDc7UAg

Charles Myssy is a Shadow Alchemist, facilitator, and founder of Shadow Mastery Institute, an international organization guiding people through somatic shadow work, archetypal exploration, and inner child integration.

In his work, he guides people into the parts of themselves they have long avoided, supporting them to move from unconscious pattern and protective armor into integrated, embodied wholeness.

While many know Charles through his widely popular social media content and humor, few know the version of him from which all of it originated.

The one who grew up in scarcity...

Who watched his mother fight to keep it all together as the sole provider...

Who took on the weight of the household as the sole masculine figure before he had any idea what that weight meant...

The absence of a father whose acceptance and recognition he deeply craved...

By the time he was old enough to understand the impact these experiences had on him, he'd already spent years building a version of himself designed to make sure it never happened again, leading to years of armoring, anger, of building himself into someone the world couldn't hurt again.

Eventually, this led him down the journey of going back to reclaim that what got left behind.

In our conversation together, we examine Charles's journey from the wounds of his past toward his own shadow integration, and what that process of reclamation truly demands of a man.

At the center of this conversation is a question Charles and I have both lived from the inside out: what happens to the parts of us that were too painful to be seen? And what becomes possible when we finally stop running?

In this conversation, Charles and I explore:

• Charles's personal journey of growing up without a father and how that shaped him

• How unprocessed pain can show up in our lives, leading to sabotage in our relationships

• The warrior archetype, what it is, its immature expression, and what it looks like when it finally matures

• The victim archetype, why it sits at the root of so many of our patterns, and how we can move past it

• Why understanding your wounds is not the same as moving through an embodied healing process

• What genuine shadow integration actually requires

• How our relationships will always show us exactly what we haven't yet faced in ourselves

• What it means to lead your inner world rather than be led by it

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Charles...

What drew me to his work initially was how he used the medium of humor and entertainment to bring these truths to light. What I found underneath was a sincere, caring, and deeply committed man, and I hold deep respect for the path he has walked to bring this work into the world.

This episode is for any man who has spent his whole life moving forward, yet never once looked back at what is driving him in the first place...

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Charles Myssy:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmyssy/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK5UYoaLpbVcaB0_jz0bBKg

👥 Discover more about "Shadow Mastery": https://go.tribr.com.au/smpre-charles

"The freedom lifestyle promises liberation, adventure, authenticity, connection on your own terms... It sounded perfect, and for a while it was. But here's what it actually delivered: freedom and profound loneliness, options and an inability to choose, movement and nowhere that feels like home."

These are the words written by my next guest, Nora Wendel, in an Instagram post that went viral a few months ago...

When I first read it, it stopped me in my tracks, because it named something I had been watching play out around me for years and had never heard said quite so directly.

With an MSc in Psychology, today Nora operates in the field of applied social and relational psychology, supporting individuals in coming into a deeper sense of belonging, community, and connection.

She's been initiated into this work through her own lived experience of these struggles...

Born to European parents and raised across multiple countries, such as Nepal, India, the UK, and Indonesia, the question of where do I belong, where is home for me, was a lived struggle she had to move through herself.

Today, she leads with the understanding that home, belonging, and community are not a given but something that has to be consciously chosen and built.

It's that lived experience that now sits at the heart of everything she teaches.

I reached out to Nora after seeing that post, wanting to examine with her the development of the freedom lifestyle, what it's costing us in the process, and how to bring deeper intentionality towards what we want to create.

In this conversation, Nora and I dive into:

• The shadow side of the freedom lifestyle and why so many of us end up lonely, stuck, and disconnected

• Why the inner work you do alone will only take you so far, and what only a relationship can teach you

• How your values are the compass when too many choices leave you paralyzed

• How unprocessed grief can keep us choosing surface level connections over depth

• What rites of passage and community gave us that's absent today

• How to build the kind of relationships that actually last

• How to take a stand for the kind of connection you want to create

• How to know when it's time to leave a connection, and when you're just running from discomfort

This interview examines subjects that have not been addressed in this way before on this show...

Belonging.

Loneliness.

And the quiet cost of a life built solely around freedom.

And underneath all of it, the question that actually matters:

"What are we really here for?"

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Nora Wendel:

🌐 Website: https://norawendel.com/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/norawendel/

🔥 Episodes you might enjoy:

Connor Beaton: The Hidden Wound Behind High-Performers (And How It Sabotages Self-Worth) | EP 74: https://open.spotify.com/episode/68u8Eg2p5W98HPR4o5wZP7?si=6RRLiApqQvSu57q3PZPqNA

Alison Armstrong: Why Chemistry Isn’t Enough In Relationships: The Truth About Attraction, Sex And Lasting Love | EP 73: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2XPe9J6Ti5A6xhNsoSmYWe?si=7iYzlDWWTMGEEjr7w_1RQQ

Connor Beaton is the founder of "ManTalks", an international men's mental health organization, the host of "ManTalks", and the author of the best-selling book "Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom".

Through his 1:1 work, his courses, and the Alliance, his private men's community, Connor has spent over a decade helping men face the hidden parts of themselves that quietly run their lives.

But Connor didn't come to this work through theory...

For years, he performed the man he thought he needed to be: charming, capable, put together on the outside. On the inside, he was running.

Eventually, it all collapsed...

He found himself sleeping in his car, alone with everything he'd been hiding, and realized he had two options:

• Keep silently suffering, or start talking.

He chose to talk. And that choice eventually became "ManTalks"...

In my own journey of masculine development, Connor has been one of the most influential voices. Having him here on "Heart of Man" has truly been a dream since the very beginning of this show.

One of the central themes of this conversation is self-worth...

We explore how self-esteem is performance based. It rises and falls with what you do and how well you do it.

Self-worth is something deeper. It is the understanding that you have value simply because you exist. Not because you earned it or proved it, but because it was never conditional in the first place.

And yet for so many men, this knowing is missing...

In its place is what Connor calls dark motivation: using shame, self-loathing, and fear as fuel to keep pushing forward. You build the business. You reach the top. And you feel nothing. Because the internal foundation was never built on genuine worth.

In this conversation, Connor and I dive into:

• The critical difference between self-esteem and self-worth, and why so many men confuse the two

• How a man's sense of value becomes tied to his ability to perform, and what happens when that performance falters

• Why both the high-achieving man driven by shame and the collapsed man consumed by it are carrying the same wound

• How shame functions as a compliance mechanism, and what that reveals about how men learned to manage themselves as boys

• The two distinct paths that build a destructive inner critic, and how to trace yours back to its origin

• How to separate personhood from behavior, so failure is no longer experienced as evidence of being broken

• How to repurpose the inner critic from hostile attacker into a loyal soldier with a new mission

• The role of self-compassion in building genuine self-worth, and why most men resist it

• Why facing fear in isolation is dangerous, and what it truly means to have other men beside you as you walk into it

This episode is for any man who has spent years achieving while quietly feeling that none of it is ever enough. And for any man ready to stop using shame as the engine, and start building from something more honest and lasting.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: ⁠https://www.alexlehmann.co/⁠

📸 Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann⁠_

🎥 Youtube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast⁠

💼 LinkedIn: ⁠www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom⁠

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478⁠

✉️ Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠#

🤝 Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let's find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): ⁠https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP⁠

—

Connect with Connor Beaton:

🌐 Website: ⁠https://connorbeaton.com/⁠

🌐 ManTalks: ⁠https://mantalks.com/⁠

📸 Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/mantalks/⁠

🎧 ManTalks Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7pERITPtcg832IOwgZCF6x?si=f19e1dceb5764872

📕 Men's Work: https://www.amazon.com/Mens-Work-Practical-Darkness-Self-Sabotage/dp/1683649907

👥 The Alliance: ⁠https://mantalks.com/alliance/⁠

Alison Armstrong is back for her third round on Heart of Man, and it continues to be a real honor to learn from this woman whose work has deeply shaped the way I understand men, women, partnership, and the often hidden dynamics that govern our relationships.

For those who may not yet know her, Alison has been teaching and speaking about men, women, human behavior, and relationships for over three decades.

Through her seminars, books, online programs, and media contributions, she has given millions of people access to more fulfilling lives, loving relationships, stronger families, and more productive organizations.

In our first conversation, we explored a man’s relationship to shame...

In the second, we explored the stages of development within a man...

And in this third dialogue, we turn toward one of the most charged and important territories of all: how men and women come together in romantic partnership, and what happens when sexuality, protection, and provision enter the field...

At the heart of this conversation is Alison’s framing of our instinctual responses, not simply as procreate, protect, and provide, but more accurately as procreate first, then protect, then provide.

From there, we begin to unpack what tends to happen when chemistry leads the way, when sexuality is used to meet deeper unmet needs, and why so many people end up bringing out the worst in one another while actually longing for love, safety, connection, and partnership.

In this episode, discover:

• Why attraction and sexual chemistry can quickly derail connection in the early stages of dating

• How sex is often used to meet deeper needs for love, safety, and connection

• Why you should not have sex with someone if you cannot clearly communicate your needs and boundaries

• How leading with chemistry can trigger a “taking” dynamic instead of genuine connection

• What happens when a man feels he has to protect himself, and how that impacts his ability to provide in a relationship

• The difference between men living with an ever present sense of death and women living with an ever present sense of life

• How understanding these instinctual dynamics can change the way you approach dating, intimacy, and partnership

This was a deeply rich and valuable conversation, one that brought us into some of my favorite territories to explore: man-woman relating, relationships, sex, and purpose.

Alison continues to offer a level of clarity that I find both humbling and incredibly insightful, and I trust that this conversation will give you much to reflect on in your own life and relationships.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Alison Armstrong:

🌐 Website: https://www.alisonarmstrong.com/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thealisonarmstrong/?hl=de

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AlisonArmstrongVideos

🌐 Listen to "Thrive Your Life" Webinar https://www.alisonarmstrong.com/products/thrive-life.html, using the promo code AlisonThrive2025 (promo code expires 6/30/2026)

🌐 Listen to "The Queen's Code": https://www.alisonarmstrong.com/products/qc-audiobook.html

🔥Episodes you might enjoy:

Alison Armstrong: Healing Shame & Restoring Honor As Men | EP 31:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7GEjXFYLEWmw70e861j2Yh?si=gD5FsPvSTnmVOQhCsFFTpQ

Alison Armstrong: Understanding The Stages Of A Man's Life | EP 52: https://open.spotify.com/episode/73nPzZ4cgXJatpGeKqzXvZ?si=s_JuhhQbSzuP_AxYNxpFaw

Eli Buren returns to Heart of Man for his second round, inviting us into a deeper note around what it truly means to be a cultivated man in a time of rising disconnection.

For those who have not listened to our first conversation, Eli is a teacher, martial artist, and guide whose work bridges self-discovery and rigorous embodied training.

His path is rooted in decades of experiential practice that extends beyond theory.

Through breath, movement, martial forms, meditation, and relational presence, he guides men into the lived experience of awareness in the body, not as an idea but as a discipline.

Since we last spoke two years ago, Eli shares his journey of stepping more deeply into fatherhood, an initiation that has refined his relationship to presence, devotion, and responsibility.

From there, we explore what it means to mature as a man, not by trying to eliminate our conditioning, but by learning to recognize it, create space from it, and train new capacities in breath, body, and awareness.

In this conversation, discover:

• Why presence must be a choice, especially in a culture that pulls us toward speed, productivity, and distraction

• How everything in life is already a practice, and how the deeper question becomes: What am I practicing right now?

• Why unconscious practices become patterns that shape our presence, relationships, and leadership.

• The distinction between realization and training.

• Why embodied mastery cannot be rushed, optimized, or hacked, and requires years of sincere dedication.

• My personal journey from trying to fix myself to grieving the ways I attempted to prove my worth.

• How to bring humor, play, and artistic expression through wounded parts of ourselves.

• Why developing dynamic range creates freedom in real time.

As I see it, this conversation is not about becoming a different man...

In his own way, Eli brings us back to the fundamentals that cannot be outsourced or optimized: your body, your breath, your awareness.

If you currently feel stretched by responsibility, pressure, or the weight of expectation, and you are done chasing and ready to cultivate, this episode is for you.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Eli Buren:

🌐Website: https://eliburen.com/

🌐Join Eli's upcoming co-led 4-Month Program "The Cultivated Man": https://www.thecultivatedman.co/

📸Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/eliburen/

🔥Episodes you might enjoy:

Eli Buren: Embodied Leadership — Cultivating Presence & Depth | EP 29: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1vqmGKNDBxm2pmH8hi6ckr?si=4b60b11ecfd448db

Ryan Moresby-White returns for his second appearance on Heart of Man.

And this time, we explore what it truly takes for a man to become emotionally safe, grounded, and self-led.

As a men's coach and founder of the Heal The Boy Institute, his work centers on helping men mature psychologically and emotionally so the younger parts of us no longer drive the bus in our relationships, our work, and our lives.

In our first conversation, we explored the foundations of boy psychology, emotional immaturity, and the root causes behind why so many men today operate from these younger imprints.

This time, we go deeper into the terrain underneath it all that demands our attention:

Grief.

The willingness to grieve the pain of our past.

The losses we have experienced.

The parts of us that have never known love.

What we hoped for, longed for, and needed yet never received.

And in those places, developing the kind of inner fortitude that demands us to stay present when life cracks us open.

Ryan speaks openly about how the most disruptive force in many men’s lives is often the little boy inside them trying to get his needs met through control, collapse, avoidance, or emotional hunger.

We explore why awareness alone rarely creates change, and why real transformation requires entering the cave of grief and allowing the body to feel what never had the space to be felt.

We unpack how relationships become the initiations many men never received, and how a man’s capacity to grieve and carry these younger aspects is directly tied to his ability to be present, grounded, and emotionally safe with a woman.

We examine how men are wounded in relationship and how our healing also happens in relationship when held with discernment. What belongs in partnership and what belongs in brotherhood. What we bring to our partners and what ought to be metabolized in circle with other men.

In this conversation, discover:

• What boy psychology looks like in relationships and why it creates emotional chaos.

• Why grief is not only about death or physical loss and how unprocessed grief shapes intimacy, conflict, and connection.

• Why relationships often become the initiations men did not receive growing up.

• How loneliness often hides beneath distraction, overworking, and the need for a partner to regulate us.

• Why presence is the thing many women crave most and how it is built through grieving and inner security.

• What it means to be a safe man and why a regulated nervous system changes everything in love.

• How men can stop making their partner responsible for their healing and step into emotional leadership.

• Why brotherhood matters and what belongs with your men rather than in your relationship.

This is a raw and deeply practical conversation about emotional leadership, nervous system maturity, and how a man can shepherd his younger parts so they do not bleed into love in destructive ways.

This episode is for any man ready to stop letting his younger parts run the show, stop outsourcing his wholeness to a relationship, and start meeting life from a deeper place of truth, maturity, and grounded love.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Ryan Moresby-White

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmoresbywhite

💼 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.moresbywhite/

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ryanmoresbywhite

What does it take for a men to return to what is real, aligned, and alive in him, instead of chasing the success, admiration, or approval he hopes will finally make him feel enough and at ease in his own life?

Within the world of leaders and business owners, many of the men I work with have climbed what we would describe as their first mountain...

They pursued external success, achieved milestones, and reached the very things our culture rewards.

Yet somewhere along the way, a humbling truth emerges:

The freedom, love, approval, or peace they hoped to feel never lasts. And they find themselves standing with everything they once wanted, yet feeling empty or restless inside.

This is the moment they arrive at a crossroads.

The old strategies no longer work, yet the clarity or direction how to climb their second mountain has not arrived. A mountain connected to their deeper nature, guided by what feels alive and aligned, offering a far more sustainable way to experience fulfillment than the achievement driven path that came before.

In this conversation, Bjoern and I explore this crossroads in a grounded, practical way, the space between the life a man has built and the life he actually wants.

In This Episode You Will Discover:

• Why external achievements cannot create the inner fulfillment so many men quietly hope for

• The patterns that keep founders stuck on the first mountain

• The common pitfalls men encounter when they begin searching for a deeper purpose

• What it looks like to move toward a deeper sense of purpose in a clear and embodied way

• How to make decisions guided by your inner knowing rather than by what simply makes sense from the outside

• How to follow what is true and aligned when fear or expectations arise

• How your relationship to death can clarify what genuinely matters to you

• How you can live with greater intention in the choices you make each day

• How to build a life that feels meaningful, guided by your authentic expression rather than performance or proving

At its core, this episode offers a clear, grounded pathway for men who have reached or pursued success yet still feel a quiet restlessness inside.

A pathway toward building a life that feels meaningful, guided by authentic expression rather than performance or proving. A form of leadership rooted in inner alignment, presence, and truth.

If you are a man who is tired of working harder at the things that no longer work, who feels something deeper calling you forward, or who wants clarity on the next chapter of your life, I trust this episode will meet you where you are.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Join the first cohort of our upcoming co-led group membership, "The Integrated Founder Circle": https://www.alexlehmann.co/theintegratedfoundercircle

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Bjoern Keune:

🌐Discover more about 'Acta': https://www.acta.so/

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bjoernkeune/