Hello Hayes

Today's episode covers work friendships, the pitfalls of perfectionism, the merits of over-communication, what I wish I knew when I started working, how to have awkward conversations with work besties, and probably more. Who knows where this brain will go!

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"My girlfriend and I have different relationships with our appearances, and social media is a part of that. We’re both girls in our early 20s and this is my first serious relationship. She loves to get dressed up and take photos and videos of herself to post, whereas I don’t really post selfies at all. What a silly thing to worry about, right? And yet, I find that I continue to struggle with it."

Welcome to Hello Hayes, an advice podcast where we don't claim to have all the answers, but we do try to find them. Together. In today's episode, we're talking about how to handle social media in relationships -- specifically when one person likes to post selfies and the other doesn't.

You can find me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/afhayes

Follow along for more episodes of Hello Hayes: https://www.youtube.com/@alexandrahayesrobinson?sub_confirmation=1

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Send your letters to Hayes at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Pro tip: Use "YouTube subscriber" in the subject line, plus a few words that describe your story. Like this: "YouTube subscriber + Why do I feel so sad around the holidays?"

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10,000+ Hayeselnuts and curious thinkers read my weekly(ish) newsletter on Substack, where I publish my most personal writing and advice columns. All content is free, but paid subscriptions are available to those who are able to support my work financially! You get bonus audio episodes and a "cut the line" pass to my advice column. 5/month or 50/year! Subscribe: https://hellohayes.substack.com/subscribe

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In this episode, Hayes celebrates getting her motivation back and shares the top 10 tips that have helped her this year.

👋 SUBMIT AN ADVICE LETTER 👋

Send your letters to Hayes at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Pro tip: Use "YouTube subscriber" in the subject line, plus a few words that describe your story. Like this: "YouTube subscriber + Why do I feel so sad around the holidays?"

✍️ LIKE TO READ? ✍️

Join the 10,000+ Hayeselnuts and curious thinkers who read my weekly(ish) newsletter on Substack, where I publish my most personal writing and advice columns. All content is free, but paid subscriptions are available to those who can support my work financially! You get bonus audio episodes and a "cut the line" pass to my advice column. 5/month or 50/year!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch this episode on YouTube.]

In this week's episode of the HELLO HAYES podcast, I answer an advice letter about how to deepen connections with new friends in a new city.

Send me your letters at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com.

Listen to Carlye's podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/6aarIjhCYglA4gn8e1H2nl

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[Watch this episode on YouTube]

Today I'm answering two letters from our community about feeling excluded: one takes place in a wedding (bridesmaid stuff), another in a group chat. I also give the full backstory on the Reese Witherspoon story I shared on my Instagram (@afhayes) last week, and why that moment feels so important for me.

Listen to my conversation on The Bright Side here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6tlanMiHjaYTFMk6bktrRj

Timestamps:

:00 - Introducing episode theme

1:12 - Why this episode is a little different

2:40 - The Bright Side podcast interview

3:28 - My fear of interviews

5:57 - The advice I gave myself before the interview

10:27 - Eating too much of a gummy

11:20 - REESE WITHERSPOON!!!!

13:10 - My break from TikTok

14:29 - The takeaway for all of us

16:49 - Bemused Bridesmaid: "My Friend Isn't a Bridesmaid and Feels Left Out" (Letter 1)

19:00 - My response to Bemused Bridesmaid

31:37 - Ousted: "My Friends Don't Respond to Me in the Group Chat"

33:33 - My response to Ousted

47:40 - Lonely: "My OG Besties Went on Vacation Without Me"

49:40 - Questions for YOU to answer in the YouTube comments!

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[video available on YouTube] Today on the pod I talk about turning 31 and unpack all the complicated and contradictory things I feel about my birthday. Then, around 15 minutes in, I do a rapid fire Q+A of some of YOUR questions about birthdays, including (but not limited to): Is it fair to expect my partner to throw me a birthday party? Why am I always disappointed even though I expect NOTHING on my birthday? How do you (me, Hayes) feel about physically aging? AND MORE! There's no longform Hello Hayes advice column this week, just the two of us chatting. I hope you enjoy the change of pace, it was nice to just sit and reflect with you. See you next time!

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In this episode, Hayes writes a letter to IMPENDING 50-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN, who is in her mid-20s and feels embarrassed...about everything. We talk about shame and how to wrangle it, and model what a truly loving conversation with yourself feels like. Thanks for listening!

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This week on the show, for the very first time, Hayes sits down to get advice from her dear friend and author of NEW HAPPY, Stephanie Harrison. We talk about everything from how to support friends during a tough season of their life to Hayes's very personal (and hopefully relatable!) struggle with work.

Pre-order Stephanie's book here.

Follow The New Happy here.

Follow Stephanie here.

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In this week's episode, Hayes dives into a subset of emotions we're usually too ashamed to talk about: jealousy. And envy. Because apparently they're two different things?? Up until last week, Hayes was using the words synonymously...but not anymore. Hayes gets personal in this episode, sharing her contradicting feelings about her 2020 wedding to how her relationship with "beauty" has evolved over time. We have letter writers, too, all in tough situations: First we have Third Wheel, who has concerns about her husband’s flirtatious friendship with a college friend. Then there's Aching Auntie, who isn't ready to have a baby herself...but feels jealous of her pregnant sister-in-law. And at the end we hear from Resentful Roommate. This one has a friend, also a roommate, who’s always been “the pretty one” of the group. Now that friend has what seems like the perfect boyfriend, and, our letter writer just can’t feel happy for her. 

Send your advice letters to [email protected]

Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.

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Hello Hayeselnuts! In this week's (shorter) episode, we're talking about money. Specifically...how to handle sensitive, awkward, and sometimes painful conversations about it.

Send your advice letters to [email protected]

Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.

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