Why do some arguments escalate so quickly—and never seem to resolve? In Part 1 of this three-part series, we break down the hidden psychological dynamics driving high-conflict relationships, and why what you’re arguing about is often not the real issue. We also begin to illustrate these dynamics through a prototypical example, showing how they take shape and repeat in real interactions.

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Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.