Therapist Erin Snow shares insights into addiction, betrayal, boundaries and healing. She underscores the impact of addiction in the workplace, the importance of setting boundaries after betrayal, the realities of weaponizing sex in a partnership, and why betrayed partners often pursue safety seeking behaviors during healing. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:05] How addiction manifests in the workplace. 

[5:17] My husband is SA genetic – is nature or nurture going to win out? 

[9:45] The intimacy disorder underneath compulsive sexual behavior. 

[11:32] Healthy goals for a successful separation from an addicted partner. 

[17:18] The benefits of a period of separation in the healing journey. 

[19:00] Can married sex addicts use their spouses to act out even if they don’t have extramarital affairs? 

[24:45] My partner threatens to leave me if I don’t give her what she wants. What should I do? 

[25:30] My partner doesn’t like to talk about consequences if he acts out. What can I do? 

[29:45] How can I turn away from shame and toward growth and healing? 

[33:14] Should I report my ex to help keep women safe?

[39:17] Is lying an inner circle behavior?

[45:20] Should I hire a polygraph test to help me heal from my partner's lying behavior? 

[50:49] My partner is not being fully honest in therapy. What should I tell her CSAT to help us both? 

[52:34] Should I stop snooping even though I continually uncover my partner's lies?

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. 

 

QUOTES

• “Our willingness to change dramatically shifts when the consequences are more painful than continuing is.” 

• “The person who is willing to stop and turn around and stare that generational pattern in the face and is willing to do the work can break the cycle for generations to come.” 

• “Let each other go, or get a really solid plan together for the time that you’re separated.” 

• “Your boundaries are about what you are going to do, and they require your partner to do nothing.” 

• “I don’t have to have some kind of proof that something is dramatically off to set a boundary so that I feel safer.”