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In this episode, I’m sharing another clip from my conversation with Joe Dillon, a divorce mediation specialist, where we move from defining high-conflict communication into practical techniques for actually reducing it. We explore how shifting from “why” questions to “help me understand” lowers defensiveness and creates a sense of validation and safety, allowing for more reflective dialogue. We also introduce the concept of “detached engagement”—staying emotionally present without getting pulled into reactivity—and how this helps prevent escalation while maintaining connection. Throughout, we highlight how small shifts in tone, curiosity, and emotional regulation can fundamentally change the course of a conflict.
If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.
Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here
Next Meeting: Stay Tuned!
Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:
You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:
https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/
https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com
By Dr. Anthony Mazzella4.6
2525 ratings
In this episode, I’m sharing another clip from my conversation with Joe Dillon, a divorce mediation specialist, where we move from defining high-conflict communication into practical techniques for actually reducing it. We explore how shifting from “why” questions to “help me understand” lowers defensiveness and creates a sense of validation and safety, allowing for more reflective dialogue. We also introduce the concept of “detached engagement”—staying emotionally present without getting pulled into reactivity—and how this helps prevent escalation while maintaining connection. Throughout, we highlight how small shifts in tone, curiosity, and emotional regulation can fundamentally change the course of a conflict.
If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.
Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here
Next Meeting: Stay Tuned!
Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:
You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:
https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/
https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

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