It doesn't matter who decides to end the marriage, both parties are usually hurt (even if some are reluctant to admit it). Most people want to know how to protect themselves from getting hurt after divorce.

The answer to that is boundaries. We use fences, doors, walls and locks to protect our property from others and we use similar devices to protect ourselves from harm from others. These boundaries however are not as simple or obvious as a gate or a padlock. They're much more complex. They take different forms. We create different boundaries with different people. We change our boundaries over time and sometimes, we don't set the boundaries we need.

Recovering from divorce often means taking a closer look at your boundaries, understanding how you've set them in the past, and where you need to set them now in relation to your ex, your children and anyone you date.

It's not easy to set different boundaries with people you've been in relationship with for a long time and it's especially difficult if you haven't had good boundaries before.

Joining me for this episode of Conversations About Divorce is dating expert Sandy Weiner of LastFirstDate. Sandy grew up with fuzzy boundaries and she says that learning about boundaries was one of the greatest gifts from her divorce.

Visit Sandy's website to download your free copy of Sandy’s report, Why Men Disappear: Learn The Secrets To Attracting And Keeping The Love You Deserve.