Have you ever been around someone in a bad mood and think it’s because of you? Because you’ve done something wrong? It usually has nothing to do with you, but we tend to personalize everything when a deep belief is triggered. In this case, the belief is “I’m always wrong.” I lived with this belief for ¾ of my life. In my relationships, I felt responsible for everything that happened because I was always the one who was wrong. Like I had to apologize for breathing. And because I always felt I was wrong, I spent years defending myself and feeling guilty for all the damage done by my “wrongness.” Doesn’t that all sound exhausting? It was, and I’m so done with it.

We are not responsible for how other people feel. You can line 10 people up, say the same thing, and it will be interpreted 10 different ways based on their beliefs. Relationships—intimate and otherwise—take two to tango. We each play a role, and it’s never “I’m always wrong, he/she is always right”. The more you let go of right and wrong, the more freedom you have, and the less you feel compelled to defend yourself. Allow people to be whoever and whatever they are. I have stopped trying to get people to see things the way I see them, or feel the way I do. I can’t control that. Releasing that burden and allowing things to simply be as they are is incredibly liberating. Feelings aren’t right or wrong… they just are. And people aren’t right or wrong, either. It’s all in our perception.