Infinite Devotion

Why don't we use punishment in our dynamic, and what does a Dominant do instead when she doesn't follow through?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep068&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep068&utm_content=notes_top

Dawn set one firm boundary at the very start of our dynamic: no punishment. In this Q&A she shares why the word feels soul crushing to her, and I explain how punishing a woman who is already hard on herself only reinforces her self-hatred. We get into the difference between correction, discipline and punishment, why her no made me a better leader, and the fear of doing something wrong that surfaced in her body just last week. We separate real punishment from funishment, and invite you to question whether punishment belongs in your own dynamic.

Then we take your questions. How does a submissive communicate without being disrespectful, and why does a Dominant need to stop taking her feelings personally? How do you check in about changing kinks and desires, and what do you do through a season of lower sex drive? We talk about what Fifty Shades and romance novels can't show, and close with the nice guy who's afraid of hurting her when she asks him to spank her, and how he can challenge that belief.

Whether punishment has a place in your dynamic, and how you handle correction and hard conversations, are decisions you get to make on purpose. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building the rules, agreements and communication that fit the two of you. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep068&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

A year on the road, a lot of grief, and the best year of our marriage yet. Dawn and I look back on 2024 and answer your questions live.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep067&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep067&utm_content=notes_top

This was our New Year's Eve livestream from the camper. Dawn shares what it was like to leave the only home she had ever known, and I talk about why my dream coming true while she cried was a test of inner dominance first. I tell her how I watched her move out of a victim state into full self ownership this year, and we talk about living on the same side of the table, the novelty that keeps new relationship energy alive after 16 years, and the Community we were planning to build.

Then we take your questions live. We talk about living D/s with kids at home, small acts of leadership in public, whether you can be too submissive, and why you can start even when resentment and insecurity are present. I share why EMDR changed both of our lives, how individuality lets us depend on each other without codependency, why the fear of not speaking up is really you to you, and whether I go to Dawn when I'm triggered.

Everything we share in this live, from inner dominance to the same side of the table to keeping the infatuation alive, comes together in Rapture, the course where Dawn and I teach how we built our whole dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep067&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How do masculine and feminine energy actually play out in a Dom/sub relationship? Dawn and I answer more of your polarity questions.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep066&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep066&utm_content=notes_top

This is part two of our polarity series, answering the questions you sent in about masculine and feminine energy and how they shape intimacy in a dominant submissive dynamic. We start with same-sex couples and why polarity doesn't care who you are. Then I share what I do when I get emotional, why I process it on my own before I bring it to Dawn, and how a man can meet her strong expression by healing the part of him that reacts.

Dawn talks about how a woman can ask her man to lead more often, and we take on a Dom who shuts his sub out while he's depressed, the independent baddie, brats, and whether Dawn has a Dom side. We get into living in submission while single, why I don't micromanage Dawn, and the controlled detonations I sometimes lead her into. We close on the fear of a relationship ending and how to get back into polarity when it gets flipped: receive first, open your heart, and build the fire back slowly.

Polarity runs through every answer in this episode, and Rapture is where Dawn and I teach it in full: masculine and feminine energy, surrender from both of you, and keeping the fire alive in your dynamic. It's our flagship course for couples. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep066&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Polarity is so much more than the spark of a new relationship. Dawn and I answer your questions about masculine and feminine energy.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep065&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep065&utm_content=notes_top

Polarity has become a buzzword, used mostly by people who have only felt the sexual polarity of new relationship energy. Dawn and I talk about the other half: the emotional polarity working at the same time, and how nature always brings these forces into balance. I explain masculine energy as what goes out from you and feminine energy as what comes in, why a man's feminine lives in his heart, and why a woman's masculine lives in her emotional expression.

We get into the masculine shield, why men close off their hearts and women close off their bodies, and what happens when energy flatlines or inverts. Dawn shares what living in that inversion felt like (exhaustion, hypervigilance, people pleasing), and I share my own needy, unmotivated years on the other side of it. Then we answer questions on Dom/sub and the divine masculine and feminine, living more authentically in your marriage, sharing what the dynamic has done for you, and being submissive while running a home.

Everything in this episode comes back to one thing: polarity between a man and a woman that deepens instead of fading. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach how to build that desire and intimacy inside your own relationship. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep065&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What happens to a submissive woman when the life she clung to is suddenly gone? Dawn shares what leaving home uncovered.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep064&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Submissive Foundations, how to be a submissive and never lose your self respect
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep064&utm_content=notes_top

Three weeks after we pulled up roots to travel full time, Dawn and I sit down to talk about what leaving has stirred up in her. She had lived within thirty minutes of where she was born her whole life, and saying goodbye to her kids and her parents ripped her heart wide open. I share what I watched every time we left for the winter and came back: she would bloom away from home and close like a slammed book when we returned. We get into the Four Agreements idea of the dream, and how much of who Dawn thought she was lived in that one place.

Dawn talks about seeing how she has put herself last behind everyone, and starting to choose herself. I explain why the ultimate submission to me is for her to be fully herself, and why I want her to stop performing the roles of wife, submissive, mother or daughter. She shares her fear that following her authenticity could lead her away from me, and I tell her why I don't want to be loved by almost Dawn. We close with an inner child meditation that helped her stop being afraid, and how my own back pain eased as she opened.

Becoming fully yourself inside your submission is the foundation Dawn had to build, one fear and one old belief at a time. Submissive Foundations walks you through that groundwork so your submission comes from who you really are. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep064&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What does it take for a submissive to be fully here, out of her head and into her body? Dawn and I talk about presence as the freedom submission can give.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep063&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep063&utm_content=notes_top

We start with a sauna and cold plunge morning and why cold plants you firmly in your body. Presence is a state of being, and if you have to force it, you're faking it. Dawn describes what being present feels like now, and how she spent years living in her head. I share why I want her to submit to me so I can set her free, and Dawn talks about Hurricane Rafael, her bleed week in hibernation, and the fear and control she carried around food and workouts.

We get into being okay with every possible outcome, why control is the opposite of submission, and why a Dominant has to garden his way there rather than hammer. I talk about introducing a new kink with persistence and patience, and what happens when my desire sets off her fear. Then I hand Dawn an open microphone to tell me if I'm being needy or pushy, and explain why a Dominant has to own it when he's wrong if he ever wants her to trust him when she is.

Leading her out of her head and into her body, with patience instead of force, is the heart of a living dynamic. Rapture is where Dawn and I show you how we cultivate that presence, desire and freedom together. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep063&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How do you depend on each other completely in a Dom/sub marriage without falling into codependency?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep062&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep062&utm_content=notes_top

Dominance and submission get tricky when love is involved, because the codependent patterns we learned as kids slip right into the dynamic. In this episode Dawn and I start with what codependency is, then get honest about how it showed up in us. I share how I used to wait for her validation and approval before stepping into ownership of my own life. Dawn talks about her people pleasing, always looking for an outside authority, and how easily a submissive can feel she can't say no out of fear of losing love.

We look at codependency on the Dominant's side too, when I get so entangled in her experience that I need her to be different so I can feel okay. I explain why losing connection can feel like going from ecstasy to hell, why her unconscious patterns are never personal, and why I had to go first and stop reacting. We share a small moment with our new grill that a couple of years ago could have turned into a day-long meltdown. And I talk about individuality versus independence, and why being fully ourselves is what lets us fully depend on each other.

Depending on each other without losing yourselves is what lets a dynamic keep deepening. Rapture is our flagship course for couples, where Dawn and I teach the trust, intimacy and surrender this kind of union is built on. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep062&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What does mindless obedience actually look like in a loving 24/7 marriage? Dawn shares the freedom it has given her.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep061&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep061&utm_content=notes_top

Mindless obedience is one of the kinks that draws so many people into dominance and submission, and there is real truth inside it. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what it looks like in our daily life, well outside the bedroom. For Dawn it is freedom from thinking, from having to figure everything out and make every decision. The less effort she spends controlling things, the more turn-on she gets to feel in her body.

She shares the doormat fear she started with, the car rides where she'd ask why I was going this way, and the years it took to hand me her food and fitness. I talk about why a submissive can't surrender into a void, why she first had to own herself before she could give herself to me, and why this kind of obedience requires a very solid partner. We also get into surrendering consciousness, dropping her fears at my feet, and how her memory changed as she closed the 24,000 tabs running in her head. This was our first episode recorded in our new home on the road.

If your mind runs every decision and you can't relax into receiving, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep061&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What does it take for a Dominant and his submissive to pull up roots and live on the road full time?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep060&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep060&utm_content=notes_top

By the time this episode came out, Dawn and I had moved out of our home, put the red chairs in storage and become full time nomads in our RV. Dawn has lived in this area her whole life, and preparing to leave brought up her deepest wound: wanting to feel worthy and needed, and the codependency on her daughters that grew out of it. She talks honestly about feeling her love was tainted with her own pain, holding herself responsible for her girls' lives, and learning to detach with love so true acceptance can flourish.

I share how I held her through the grief while keeping some of my own excitement down, and why her submission in a season like this is to feel exactly what she feels. Then I zoom out and teach what I did as her Dominant: I planned the move around her cycle so it could feel spacious and fun, and I talk about what a man can do when her questions carry disapproval. We also get into downsizing, how the dream of this life began a decade ago, giving her an experience of it so she could want it for real, and setting off completely debt free.

Leading a big life change at a pace she can actually live inside, and following with trust instead of control, is the dynamic Dawn and I teach in Rapture, our flagship course for couples. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep060&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How do I get my man to be more dominant, how do I find a Dom, and what do I do when my Dom is mean? Dawn and I answer the three biggest questions submissive women ask us.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep059&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Submissive Foundations, how to be a submissive and never lose your self respect
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep059&utm_content=notes_top

After two hours of answering questions from submissives, three big ones were left, and so many women asked some version of them that Dawn and I gave them their own episode. First, how do you get your man to be more dominant? The quick answer is you can't, because a submissive can't be the one leading. We talk about surrender beyond preferences, why your first act of submission is expressing what you want to experience and then stepping back to let him lead in his way, and why this is just as hard for a man who was programmed to treat you like a Disney princess.

For single women looking for a Dom, I explain why you can't go looking for a finished product, why you follow the spark even when it has led to toxicity before, and why the character of a man who owns his triggers matters more than whether he calls himself a Dom. Then the hardest one: what to do when your Dom is mean, harsh or lashing out. Real dominance is grounded and calm, and a man who uses your submission to shut you down is running an abusive codependent relationship under the name of power exchange. We talk about using your voice, setting boundaries, and why you need solid personal boundaries to be a submissive.

Speaking up, setting boundaries and submitting without abandoning yourself is the heart of Submissive Foundations. It walks you through the fears submissives face and how to overcome them, so you can submit from a place of self-respect. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep059&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book