Infinite Devotion

What if real dominance has almost nothing to do with you? My guest Chris Bale and I talk about the man most women have never met.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep078&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep078&utm_content=notes_top

Chris Bale has had a profound impact on my growth as a man, and this conversation was a special one for me. We start with something he said that changed how I see men: most women don't trust men because most of them have never met one. Chris talks about the lone wolf path every man has to walk to meet himself, why confidence is the result of humility, and why humility comes from being destroyed by life over and over again. I share how Dawn and I stumbled into this work, and why devotion blows a relationship wide open.

Chris explains why a man in a functional relationship with his inner authority is dominant by default, and how his dominance grows from wanting to be powerful into being powerfully generous. We get into sensitivity as the true source of a man's power, the difference between sensitivity and fragility, relaxation as the somatic response to a peaceful heart, and why so much of what passes for embodiment is trauma cycling. We close on the chaos of the feminine, men's groups and the lone wolf, discernment about who you learn from, and staying aware of the motivation underneath everything you do.

Chris names the work every man has to do on his own: meeting himself, finding his inner authority, and leading from generosity. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to do exactly that. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep078&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Fifteen anonymous questions from new Doms, curious subs and couples, and my honest answers.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep077&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Submissive Foundations, how to be a submissive and never lose your self respect
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep077&utm_content=notes_top

This is a Q&A episode built from anonymous questions you sent me through Instagram. I start with where a new Dom begins when his submissive has more experience, then share my favorite thing about Dawn: her courage to keep challenging who she thought she was. When women ask where to find a man like me, my answer is that you don't find him finished. I grew because Dawn kept speaking up about how she feels.

We get into shifting from leadership at work to submission at home, avoidant and anxious attachment, going slow as a new sub in the kink scene, and handling backlash. I answer a submissive whose Dom withholds reassurance and explain why her needs come first. I also cover bringing others into the bedroom, D/s after sexual assault and the EMDR work Dawn and I have both done, why we use D/s language, the photos I share of Dawn, leading from ego, and staying in your submission when your Dom is struggling.

So many of these answers come back to a submissive who trusts herself enough to use her voice. Submissive Foundations walks you through the foundations of healthy submission so you can build that trust inside your own dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep077&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How does a man stay strong and solid while keeping his heart wide open? Jeremie Lotemo and I get into it.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep076&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep076&utm_content=notes_top

Jeremie Lotemo helps men become stronger and more confident and lead powerful lives and relationships. He shares how he left the corporate ladder, started a men's circle in his bedroom before he knew what to call it, and found balance by letting go of perfection. We get into how a man can find his work by looking at his resistance and the symptoms in his life, and the difference Jeremie draws between the shadow and the darkness.

I share why devotion matters so much to me and why so many men run from it, and Jeremie names the Peter Pan, the armored man and the nice guy. We talk about masculine integrity as honoring your word and feminine integrity as honoring her feelings, and why holding a woman's feelings will burn the weakness out of you. Jeremie explains living in reverence instead of reference, shares the daily tools that keep him grounded, and closes with the one thing he would tell the world.

Holding her feelings without collapsing or going cold is the work Jeremie and I keep coming back to. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to build that strength and keep my heart open. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep076&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why is tracking her hormonal cycle the single most impactful thing I've ever done as a Dominant man?

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep075&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep075&utm_content=notes_top

I've tracked Dawn's cycle every day for over 1700 days. I started so I could plan dates, vacations and sex around her period, and it became the deepest way I've found to understand and accept the woman I lead. Her hormones are different every single day across a roughly 28 day cycle, while ours run on 24 hours. I walk through the seasons analogy and the one-long-day analogy, and why her slowness challenges my neediness.

Then I take you through each phase and how to lead in it: winter rest in menstruation (even commanding her to lie down), spring openness in the follicular phase for new ideas and new kinks, the summer peak of ovulation when she craves your edge, and the autumn of the luteal phase, where the hormone crash hits and where men do the most damage. I share how to start tracking, why Dawn texts me her basal body temperature every morning, and how good data helps with perimenopause.

Staying calm, grounded and patient through her whole cycle takes inner strength, especially when the luteal phase tests you. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to build it. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep075&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What's the difference between submission and people pleasing? Embodiment coach Nadia Munla joins me to find out.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep074&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep074&utm_content=notes_top

Nadia Munla is an embodiment and intimacy coach, and my first guest on this podcast besides Dawn and my friend Eric. She has worked with women in sensual movement for over 15 years, and the number one thing she sees is women experiencing themselves from the outside in, watching how they look instead of feeling what they feel. She shares the sensual movement class that started her own unraveling, how she stays whole while running a business, and her favorite way to come back to herself: being held, sometimes in rope.

We get into why submission feels like pure freedom while people pleasing is a prison, why sensation has no story, and what embodiment actually means. Nadia talks about her addiction to solving problems, and I share why most of our problems need to be dissolved. Then we turn to the men: why it's vulnerable to hold a woman who is letting go, what Nadia learned trying to Dom at a kink retreat, the too much and not enough wounds, and the killer energy women crave from a man who stays warm.

If you know you want to surrender but your mind keeps scanning, fixing and performing, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep074&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why did Dawn step back from the podcast, and how did I decide what to do when she told me she couldn't keep going?

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep073&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep073&utm_content=notes_top

This is my first solo episode after more than 70 with Dawn, and I share why she is stepping back from the podcast and our business. She could have kept going, and she would have if I had asked her to. What she noticed was that recording episodes and coaching, even with clients she loved, left her drained and less like herself, and talking about her past kept stirring it back into the present. What I need from her more than anything is her aliveness, so the decision became clear.

I talk about the difference between masculine and feminine integrity: a man gives first and follows through, and a woman receives first and gives from what she receives. Then I walk the men through how I handle her big feelings, staying present, telling an honest emotion from an irrational reaction, and leading from values we sorted out when things were calm. For the women, I share why you have to keep speaking up, even when it's terrifying. And Dawn will still be here, showing up in new ways.

Holding her through big feelings without collapsing starts with your own work on presence, embodiment and inner Dominance. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to build it. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep073&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why is Dawn stepping back from the podcast? She tells you herself, while it's still raw.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep072&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Submissive Foundations, how to be a submissive and never lose your self respect
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep072&utm_content=notes_top

In the middle of January, during the hibernation of her cycle, words came out of Dawn that she never planned to say: "I am not here to help people." In this episode she shares what broke open in that moment, the lie she had believed since she was a young girl that she was on this planet to help others, and her commitment to stop abandoning herself. She talks about the July day that started it, the walk in Gulf Shores where she stopped and said "I am enough," and why telling the story of how she got here kept pulling her away from the life she is living now.

We get into receptivity, why receiving other people's challenges had become a kind of penetration for her, and the poison analogy that made the decision clear for both of us. I share what changes for the podcast and for our dynamic, and I speak to the men about deciding what you want in a partner even when it's inconvenient, and growing big enough to hold her as she grows. Dawn closes with the leash as a kite string, how fear turns into excitement when she lets it move through her body, and closing the door on her past.

Dawn's story here is about ending a lifetime of self-abandonment so she can be fully herself and fully surrendered. Submissive Foundations is where a submissive woman starts building that ground inside herself. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep072&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Every solid Dominant man had to start somewhere. This is the story of my insecurity, and how I worked my way through it.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep071&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep071&utm_content=notes_top

A coaching client once told me it was good to know I'm human too, and that I didn't come out of the womb like this. He was right. In this episode I share the insecurity that was the hardest thing I've ever had to work through, starting with being a sensitive kid in a small Midwest town and getting run over in middle school. I talk about how I learned to abandon myself to be liked, and how that turned into chasing approval everywhere, from reading Cosmo to become the perfect boyfriend to building a fake version of success.

Insecurity lives in the gap between who you really are and who you're trying to be. I share the night I tried to talk Dawn into wanting me, the journals I started in 2014, quitting everything I was part of in a single day, and the years of identity crisis that followed as I started taking care of my body and my health. Dawn adds her side, and I close with where men can start: accepting reality, noticing where you hide, and reclaiming the parts of you that you shut away. Working on yourself as a man makes you stronger.

Closing the gap between who you are and who you've been pretending to be is the inner work Becoming a Dominant Man walks you through, one step at a time. It's the 12-step path I took myself. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep071&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why can't she let go of control? Start with how consistently you lead, and how much you can hold.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep070&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep070&utm_content=notes_top

Someone on a live stream asked what trait of mine makes our dynamic work, and I said persistence and consistency. In this episode Dawn and I unpack why. When the direction I lead in stays the same day in and day out, she has something solid to lean into and can stop grasping for control. We compare our first three years of trying things and finding our footing with the last three, when my role became clear: hold the structure so she can be free to be all of who she is.

Then we take on the question we hear all the time: how do I get my submissive to let go of control? Dawn talks about stillness, using her voice inside her submission, and learning that she matters. I talk to Dominant men about the places you've made her shrink because she makes you uncomfortable, and why that trains her to stay in control. When I chose to see all of Dawn's emotions as love, everything changed. She cannot surrender into a void, so get control inside yourself first.

If she can't seem to let go, the work starts with what you can hold. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to become solid enough for her to surrender to. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep070&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Six years after I put the collar on Dawn, what has power exchange actually taught us about loving each other?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep069&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep069&utm_content=notes_top

It's been over six years since I put the collar on Dawn, and the way we relate now feels like a different lifetime from our old unconscious vanilla marriage. In this episode we walk through the skills dominance and submission helped us build, beyond the kink. We start with communication, self-awareness and trust, and Dawn shares the moment in the kitchen when she realized she was mistrusting me because she didn't trust herself. I talk about how her expressiveness has shown me my blind spots, and why she can always feel it when I'm not solid in what I bring her.

We get into expression, why men need outlets other than their partner for processing, and how my taking ownership of everything in our lives went hand in hand with Dawn letting go, starting with the laundry. We talk about each owning our part after a conflict, and how my chasing and her retreating dissolved. Then commitment as showing up every day under our motto, how good can this get, setting each other free, and the patience it has taken both of us.

Communication, trust, responsibility and commitment are the skills our dynamic built in both of us, and Rapture is where Dawn and I teach the whole of it. It's our flagship course for couples. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep069&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book