Infinite Devotion

By Andrew Reign & DawnSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Education Self-Improvement Relationships Sexuality

Infinite Devotion episodes

June 10, 2024 We always try to get better, not be "good enough" | Infinite Devotion Episode 38
What happens to a marriage when both people commit to getting better for each other instead of settling for good enough?
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep038&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep038&utm_content=notes_top
Early on I put a lot of effort into winning Dawn over, and over time I stopped trying and resigned myself to a low-energy life. I share the conversation with my father around a campfire in April 2015 that made me decide to change, the day I walked into a new CrossFit gym, and how my showing up differently reflected back on Dawn. She talks about the self-hatred and starting and stopping that kept her stuck, and how she has had to let go of an identity around self-discipline that came from old wounding.
In our power exchange Dawn does these things for me, while I hold the space for what is life-giving to her and to us. We are honest about the years when bringing up my body got her punished with my shutting down, and about how a request for more effort used to feel like a threat. We talk about the beauty standard in our contract, why standards only work with a joint commitment to show up as our best for each other, and why a shared growth mindset has made our relationship feel like freedom and acceptance.
If you want standards in your dynamic that feel life-giving instead of threatening, Structuring Your D/s Dynamic shows the two of you how to build agreements and contracts you both want to live up to. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep038&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 2 min
June 03, 2024 How I control my submissive | Infinite Devotion Episode 37
What does it really mean to take control of your submissive, and how do you do it without becoming controlling?
FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep037&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep037&utm_content=notes_top
Control is one of the most charged words in power exchange. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what control meant to each of us growing up, the night she burst into tears and said "I need to be controlled," and how her submission turned into liberation.
Then I get into the Dominant's side: why self-control is Step Zero, why patience matters more than force, and why I've always aimed to use my control to give to her rather than take from her. The way we live it, control is more about what I won't let her do to herself than what she has to do for me.
Every man who wants this kind of trust has to become someone worth surrendering to first. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step process I went through to get there, the same inner work Dawn talks about in this episode. Start here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep037&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 3 min
May 27, 2024 Keeping passion and desire alive over the long term - Dating, Novelty, and Sex | Infinite Devotion Episode 36
How do Dawn and I still feel like we are dating after 15 years together?
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep036&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep036&utm_content=notes_top
We recorded this one on date night, because the way we date each other is one of the biggest reasons the romance and desire never left our marriage. Dawn shares what it is like to be taken out by me now, how dates shifted when life got stressful, and why I keep asking for her input even while I make every decision. I also answer the question we hear constantly, whether it is a burden for the Dominant to decide everything, and the answer is that a man who wants to lead never feels burdened by decisions he is free to make.
We get into novelty and getting out of the house, why survival mode and the kids can drain a couple of all their fun, and simple ways to date even with children, like trading babysitting with another couple. We also tell the story of our first real date after 18 months of knowing each other, why we turn almost every date into a celebration, and why a boring, mundane life never leads to good sex. We close on what I get in return for everything I give, which is getting to feel Dawn fully alive in her surrender.
If your relationship has drifted into roommates and routine, Rapture is where Dawn and I teach you how to bring the desire, romance and aliveness back into your dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep036&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
58 min
May 20, 2024 How we make decisions in our D/s marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 35
How do you make decisions as Dom and sub so she can let go of control and still feel heard?
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep035&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep035&utm_content=notes_top
We recorded this one live, and it starts the way every episode starts: hi princess, hi sir. Dawn and I walk through how decisions actually get made in our dynamic, from date night to where we'll live next. Before the collar, Dawn's decisions came with overthinking and stress, and one of the first things I did was take many of them off her plate. I share how I decide from our values with truth at the top, why the first question is whether a decision even needs to be made, and how our Saturday date night, backup plan included, played out.
Dawn shares the freedom of saying what she wants and then truly letting it go, and I talk about how my old fear of upsetting her shaped every choice. We get into domineering versus dominant, why my heart has to open as wide as my control, and how her felt sense of a place shapes our move. Dawn shares the night I bought her personal training course, and how she can desire now without needing to have. We answer live questions, and close with what Dawn still decides for herself.
Who decides what, and how she stays heard while she lets go, is one of the first structures every dynamic needs. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building yours, including decision-making, rules, rituals and communication. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep035&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 9 min
May 13, 2024 How we stay consistent in our D/s dynamic | Infinite Devotion Episode 34
How do you keep a Dom/sub dynamic consistent for years, even when life knocks you flat? Dawn and I share what kept ours steady through a rough month.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep034&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep034&utm_content=notes_top
We recorded this one still recovering from being sick twice in a month, days in a row when neither of us could show up the way we normally do. There was never any threat of falling out of our dynamic. Dawn shares how who she has become stays with her even when she feels awful, and the tears that came the first time we could finally lie down together again. I talk about surrendering to my own body, setting down responsibilities that matter to me, and noticing my resistance to receiving when she picked up the slack.
We get into the difference between being Dom/sub and doing Dom/sub, what I do that helps Dawn stay connected to her submission, and why my attention has to stay fixed on her. Consistency is the Dominant's responsibility, and there's no room for finger pointing. We talk about tying every rule and ritual to a why, reconnection rituals, why we keep talking about emotions when people ask about bondage, weaving the dynamic into ordinary moments like opening doors, and what the collar around her neck means to me after five and a half years.
Consistency comes from rituals tied to a why and woven into the life you already live. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building those rules, rituals and connection points for your own dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep034&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
58 min
May 06, 2024 Overcoming Overthinking | Infinite Devotion Episode 33
You can't think your way out of a thinking problem. Dawn and I talk about how we each got out of our heads.
FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep033&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep033&utm_content=notes_top
Overthinking keeps so many people from the presence that intimacy needs, and both Dawn and I have had to find our way out of our heads. Dawn shares how she lived in survival mode, constantly making meaning and looking for ways to control life toward some idea of perfection. I share my side: trying to apply logical solutions to emotional problems, and how the two of us spinning in our heads, each trying to get the other to do it our way, left us with no spark. We get into the garbage can story, my fear of making mistakes, and the anxious avoidant pattern underneath it.
Dawn talks about drowning in relationship, healing and nutrition content online until her body finally told her to stop, and why simply ordering her to quit would have pushed her into performance. Then we look at living in your head versus living in your body: why embodiment is simple, what The Body Keeps the Score taught us, why making healing your identity keeps you stuck, and how facing her sexuality brought Dawn home to herself. You have to feel your way out of a thinking problem.
If your mind won't stop trying to control every outcome, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep033&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 1 min
April 29, 2024 Finding ourselves through our Dom/sub marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 32
Can two people find their own truest selves and grow closer at the same time? Dawn and I talk about how D/s made that possible for us.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep032&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep032&utm_content=notes_top
We recorded this one in the low phase of Dawn's cycle, and we start there, with her permission to show up exactly as she is. One of the first things I set out to do in our dynamic was to kill off the places we acted out of obligation, and that opens the door to authenticity. Dawn shares growing up trying to live perfectly, and I share the moment my dad told me to just do what I wanted. We talk about the seed of who you were born to be, the walls that get dropped on it, and how five years ago it was really our walls talking to each other.
Dawn shares crying over dinner as she touched a last thread of shame about not wanting to be in charge. We get into why authenticity is lonely, the need to belong, and how seeking it can turn two people into separate pillars. Then we talk about moving out of codependency, through independence, into truly depending on each other, the kind of safety that lets her fly, my role in leading her back to herself, and the fear she had to walk through that finding herself might lead her away from me.
Coming into your own truth and then choosing to depend on each other is the heart of a dynamic built on love. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach the whole of it, from polarity and surrender to intimacy that keeps deepening. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep032&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 12 min
April 22, 2024 Living In Your Feminine Energy - Dawn's Experience | Infinite Devotion Episode 31
What does it actually mean to live in your feminine? Dawn shares what it has felt like to find her way there, one letting go at a time.
FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep031&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep031&utm_content=notes_top
Feminine energy and feminine embodiment get talked about everywhere, and they mess with a lot of women's heads. In this episode Dawn shares her lived experience, from wanting someone to just tell her what to do, to learning the difference between thinking and feeling through tears and truth goosebumps. She realized she couldn't feminize a masculine-driven life, and that her fitness and nutrition had become her identity and her need to control. I share how we came to see D/s through the lens of polarity, and our language for the feminine: be, receive and feel.
We get into why a woman needs something to surrender into, why two people trying to lead creates conflict, and why so many women burn out switching between masculine at work and feminine at home. Being in your feminine is a state of being you reach by letting go and slowing down, and Dawn shares how presence, emotional awareness and her sexuality are intertwined. We talk about the hypervigilance carried from old pain, reconnecting with little Dawn and play, and why if she's controlling herself she doesn't need me.
If you're the woman who can't stop planning, controlling and doing long enough to receive, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep031&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 14 min
April 15, 2024 Q&A with a 24/7 Dominant | Infinite Devotion Episode 30
You sent in your questions, and Dawn turned the mic on me. Ask Andrew Anything.
FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep030&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep030&utm_content=notes_top
Dawn interviews me with your questions in this one. I share my religious background, why I don't work a typical job, and what healthy feminine energy looks like in a man: an open heart that can receive her emotions without getting defensive. I explain how a man can share his feelings with clarity and keep his processing somewhere else, and how to build confidence as a Dominant, starting with 100% responsibility for your life and taking care of the king. I also walk through a few of Dawn's rules and why each one exists, and how discipline works in our no punishment dynamic.
For the women, I talk about why you can't empower your man to be more dominant, and how to ask for more without feeling like you're topping from the bottom. I share what Dawn's submission feels like to me, what to look for if you want a submissive woman, the most important skill for a sub to learn, and when a sub is ready for 24/7. We finish with cycle tracking, how I'm already preparing for menopause, and how accepting my own desire to lead healed my shame.
Most of these answers come back to one thing: dominance grows inside a man, starting with responsibility for his own life. Becoming a Dominant Man walks you through the 12 steps I describe in this episode. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep030&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 6 min
April 08, 2024 Ask Dawn Anything - Q&A with a 24/7 submissive | Infinite Devotion Episode 29
Dawn answers your questions about living as a collared 24/7 submissive, from the collar in public to what to do when his decisions hurt.
FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep029&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Submissive Foundations, how to be a submissive and never lose your self respect
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep029&utm_content=notes_top
This one is all Dawn. She talks about how people react to her collar, the fear of judgment when she stopped people pleasing, and how her voice came back as she moved deeper into her body. She is clear that being a submissive gives no one license to treat you poorly, and that you never protect him from the way he makes you feel. We also answer a woman who wants to submit but carries a lot of shame about it.
Then we take on harder questions. What to do when Sir repeats decisions that hurt you, how to tell the ego self from the authentic self, and how to share your desires without topping from the bottom. We talk about the private side of our dynamic, why control in our marriage is used to help Dawn flourish, and how she learned to trust herself after a lifetime of self-abandonment.
If you want to submit the way Dawn does, with your voice and your self respect intact, start with Submissive Foundations. It's the course for women learning to surrender without losing themselves. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep029&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 4 min

About Infinite Devotion

From the publisher's feed

Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back.