Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife

Ready to reclaim your energy, sanity, and self-worth? In this episode, we’re diving into the unapologetic, liberating mindset of giving zero fucks—specifically, the 10 things we’ve learned to stop caring about at midlife. From good girl conditioning to comparison culture, we unpack the beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve us and explore what it means to live more freely, authentically, and powerfully in this season of life.

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Reclaiming your time and energy with a zero-fucks midlife mindset
 [0:40] – Why being nice instead of honest keeps us stuck
 [4:25] – Letting go of comparison and honoring your own path
 [7:04] – Releasing outdated visions of what life "should" look like
 [11:52] – Caring less about what others think—spotlight effect and all
 [16:40] – Ditching the scale: body image, aging, and radical acceptance
 [21:55] – No more default caretaker role—how to share the labor
 [26:04] – Redefining beauty: aging with grace, or not
 [30:49] – Hustling for approval: letting go of external validation
 [36:23] – Playing small to keep others comfortable? Not anymore
 [41:16] – Letting go of expectations for other people’s lives

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

This episode we’re joined by the incredible Maryon Stewart, a global pioneer in natural hormone rebalancing and women's health advocate. Maryon drops serious wisdom about how women can navigate perimenopause, menopause, and beyond—without relying on HRT. We talk all about phytoestrogens, nutritional deficiencies, and how small, science-backed changes in diet and lifestyle can lead to huge shifts in how we feel.

Whether you're just starting to notice changes or deep in the menopause journey, Maryon’s natural hormone rebalancing protocol (NHRP) offers a roadmap to feeling vibrant again. We go deep into what’s actually happening in our bodies, what the research shows, and why the medical community still isn’t fully caught up. This is the conversation we wish we’d had years ago—so don’t miss it!

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Intro to Maryon Stewart and her revolutionary work on menopause
 [4:50] - What the FEMMAR community offers and why real-time research updates matter
 [9:13] - How the NHRP was born and what makes it unique
 [14:26] - Breaking down the Natural Hormone Rebalancing Protocol (NHRP)
 [17:21] - Understanding phytoestrogens and how they mimic estrogen naturally
 [21:07] - Can you really go through menopause without HRT?
 [24:52] - What phytoestrogens actually are and how they work
 [28:22] - A look at the diet: what to eat, how to eat, and making it easy
 [32:27] - Belly fat at midlife: why it happens and what to do about it
 [34:14] - Post-menopausal zest, community support, and long-term vitality
 [41:30] - How the medical world is responding and FEMMAR’s growing impact
 [45:32] - Where to find Maryon, her community, and free resources

Links and Resources:

Femmar - website and community sign-up https:femmar.com Free Phytoestrogens Food Guide - download from Femmar.com (https://www.femmar.com/newsletter-downloads) 

Femmar.Hormonal.Health on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/femmar.hormonal.health/?hl=en

Maryon Stewart BEM on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryon-stewart-bem-b806634/ 

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Hey friends! In today’s episode of Insights from the Couch, we’re exploring one of our favorite (and most handed-out!) psychological models—the Drama Triangle. If you've ever felt stuck in dysfunctional relationship dynamics, unsure why you're constantly the “rescuer,” “victim,” or “persecutor,” this one's for you. We break down how these roles silently fuel relational chaos and emotional suppression—and most importantly, how to get out.

We also introduce the Empowerment Triangle, the powerful antidote that helps you reclaim your agency and transform your relationships. We’re not here for surface-level chatter—we’re all about taking personal responsibility, getting real about what’s not working, and building healthier, more honest connections. So grab your coffee and settle in—we’re getting real about emotional growth, boundary-setting, and stepping into your truth.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Welcome to Insights from the Couch and intro to "The Chat" community
 [1:47] - Why we love teaching the Drama Triangle model
 [3:24] - Defining the three core roles: victim, rescuer, and persecutor
 [5:34] - The puppet-master energy of the victim role
 [7:50] - The shift from victimhood to Creator mindset
 [10:57] - Personal stories on family dynamics and feeling disempowered
 [13:19] - How rescuers unknowingly uphold dysfunctional systems
 [16:33] - Gender, parenting, and the over-functioning rescuer
 [18:26] - Emotional discomfort and the fear that fuels rescuing
 [22:46] - The persecutor: the role no one wants but everyone needs
 [25:07] - Why breaking the triangle means risking being “the bad guy”
 [27:56] - How emotional suppression drives the Drama Triangle
 [32:54] - Shifting to the Empowerment Triangle: Creator, Coach, and Challenger
 [35:51] - Taking personal accountability and validating our feelings
 [38:24] - The difference between rescuing and coaching with compassion
 [41:05] - How to offer support without enabling
 [42:06] - Embracing the Challenger role to live in truth
 [44:33] - Join our new community space “The Chat” at insightsfromthecouch.org

Links & Resources:

·         Join the conversation and community at: https://www.insightsfromthecouch.org/the-chat 

·         Learn more about the Drama Triangle and Empowerment Triangle: The Power of TED* by David Emerald

·         Recommended reading: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Midlife weight gain feels like it sneaks up on us—and suddenly what used to work, doesn’t. In this episode, we sit down with our brilliant friend and fitness expert, Dena Pistor, for a no-BS conversation about what it actually takes to manage weight and feel better in perimenopause and beyond. Whether you're frustrated by belly fat that seems to appear overnight, curious about the truth behind diet shots, or just feeling stuck with your health goals, this is the conversation you need.

We talk openly (and laugh a lot) about shifting hormones, genetic set points, unrealistic fitness expectations, and why those "quick fix" diets rarely work long term. Dena brings not only her expertise, but her realness—and reminds us what sustainable, holistic health looks like at this stage of life. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect, it’s about finding what’s possible for you.

Episode Highlights:

 [0:02] - Welcoming Dena Pistor and kicking off our midlife weight loss deep dive
 [1:51] - The “middle” shows up—belly fat, shifting hormones, and midlife body changes
 [4:35] - Dena explains the science of menopause weight gain and the high-estrogen effect
 [5:28] - Why slow weight loss might be more sustainable—and when it isn’t
 [9:34] - The critical role of sleep, stress, and daily activity in weight management
 [13:27] - “Fit and healthy is a third job”—real talk about time, priorities, and working out
 [17:33] - Hydration hacks and why water matters more than you think
 [18:28] - Letting go of the scale obsession and learning to trust your clothes
 [23:39] - Skipping meals and skimping on protein? Why that’s sabotaging your success
 [27:09] - “Stop eating selfishly”—rethinking food as fuel, not just pleasure
 [30:26] - Mediterranean diet love and the power of eating real, satisfying food
 [33:33] - European food habits vs. U.S. food culture—what we’re up against
 [36:56] - Gut health, sugar cravings, and stress eating cycles
 [37:59] - Diet shots like Zepbound—Dena’s evolving perspective and what to watch for
 [43:40] - Holistic health is the real goal—not shortcuts, but a sustainable lifestyle
 [44:50] - Final reflections on grace, effort, and why this journey is worth it

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

What happens when the reflection staring back at you no longer matches the youthful image in your mind? In this episode, we peel back the layers of the “midlife mirror” to explore how aging intersects with body image, vanity, and the deep-seated need for validation. We get raw and real about the emotional shifts that come when our appearance begins to change—and how those shifts impact everything from self-esteem to social dynamics.

Join us as we unpack the roots of toxic vanity, explain what dysmorphia really looks like (clinically and subclinically), and reflect on our own personal journeys through beauty, invisibility, and evolving self-worth. If you've ever stood in front of the mirror and thought, “Wait, when did I become her?”—this conversation is for you. Let’s talk about what it means to feel alive, radiant, and beautiful from the inside out.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Kicking off with real talk: what “midlife mirror” means and why it hits hard.
 [2:06] - Defining dysmorphia and the subtle ways it shows up in everyday life.
 [4:28] - Feeling invisible: grappling with the shift in public attention as we age.
 [7:39] - The paradox of pretty: how beauty can become both power and prison.
 [9:56] - Midlife body changes and the identity crisis that follows.
 [12:15] - Our personal glow-up stories—and what we learned from them.
 [16:15] - From Botox to body neutrality: what beauty means to us now.
 [18:04] - Drawing the line between healthy vanity and toxic preoccupation.
 [22:32] - The ultimate glow-up? Owning your life force and inner radiance.
 [24:17] - How early messages about looks shape our adult self-worth.
 [27:09] - Social media’s role in distorting beauty standards—at every age.
 [28:49] - Tips for cultivating body neutrality, mindfulness, and self-connection.
 [30:56] - A final reflection: life force > wrinkle-free face, every time.

Resources:

Join the Chat: https://www.insightsfromthecouch.org/the-chat – our free online community where the conversation continues.

Make sure to visit the “Resources” page on our website www.insightsfromthecouch.org to download the worksheet and take ways that accompany each episode. This is hugely important as we are now creating a download that is unique to each episode and working hard to create an email list to support our programming offerings moving forward.

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

This week on Insights From the Couch, we sit down with the powerhouse attorney, author, and survivor, Alreen Haeggquist. From her deeply personal story of growing up in an abusive household to becoming a leading legal advocate for survivors of sexual harassment and assault, Alreen’s journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit—and the power of owning your story.

We explore the long path from trauma to triumph, what it really takes to heal, and how acknowledging the past is the first step toward freedom. Alreen shares how inner child work, therapy, and using her voice not only helped her reclaim her own life but gave her the fuel to fight for others. This conversation is vulnerable, honest, and full of insight for anyone on a healing path—or supporting someone who is.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Welcoming Alreen and an intro to her mission and groundbreaking legal work.
 [2:04] - Alreen’s early life: arranged marriage, family dynamics, and migration.
 [5:08] - The many forms of survival: escaping abuse through education and independence.
 [6:26] - Why bullying at school was more bearable than life at home.
 [8:29] - The breaking point: rage, motherhood, and the moment of awakening.
 [11:17] - Alreen’s first steps into therapy and realizing healing takes more than four sessions.
 [12:45] - A pivotal psychodrama experience: naming the abuse for the first time.
 [16:08] - The power of vulnerability and why speaking out matters.
 [18:30] - Connecting trauma to physical health and emotional wellbeing.
 [21:13] - Learning to feel again: inner child work and the journey back to the heart.
 [25:18] - Bringing personal experience into the courtroom to empower survivors.
 [26:33] - Breaking down sexual assault civil cases and how justice is pursued.
 [28:39] - Advocacy in action: educating teens and holding institutions accountable.
 [31:37] - Teaching kids to trust their gut and speak up.
 [34:28] - The first step to healing: acknowledge it happened and write it down.
 [35:58] - The complex family fallout of telling the truth.
 [39:45] - Secrets and silence vs. truth and generational healing.
 [42:58] - Why acknowledging abuse isn’t rare—it’s revolutionary.

Resources:

📚 Fired Up: Fueling Triumph From Trauma by Alreen Haeggquist — available on Amazon
🌐 Learn more about Alreen’s work and book at www.alreen.com

Make sure to visit the “Resources” page on our website www.insightsfromthecouch.org to download the worksheet and take ways that accompany each episode. This is hugely important as we are now creating a download that is unique to each episode and working hard to create an email list to support our programming offerings moving forward.

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Hey everyone—We’re diving into a topic that gets tossed around a lot but rarely unpacked in a way that actually matters: self-care. If you’ve ever felt confused or overwhelmed by what self-care really is (and isn’t), this is for you. In this episode, we unpack the myths, call out the cultural noise, and get real about what it truly means to care for yourself, especially during midlife.

We talk about the difference between real self-care and the performative kind, and how embodying your values, setting boundaries, and nurturing self-compassion can actually refill your tank. We’re sharing personal practices, therapeutic insights, and a whole lot of laughter as we redefine what it means to be replenished. It’s not spa days and wine nights (though, we won’t judge if you enjoy those too!). Get ready to reframe self-care in a way that truly supports the life you’re trying to build.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Welcome back + intro to real self-care vs. cultural hype.
 [1:13] - Why “self-care” can feel like a loaded or empty word.
 [2:06] - Breaking down faux self-care and the influence of marketing.
 [4:28] - The truth about performing femininity and hustle culture.
 [7:45] - Defining escapism vs. true replenishment.
 [10:40] - Tuning into your inner needs and building self-awareness.
 [12:44] - Real self-care is simple: boundaries, balance, connection.
 [14:59] - The power of self-compassion and Kristen Neff’s work.
 [18:41] - Our own self-care routines and mindsets.
 [24:17] - The role of creativity and play in replenishment.
 [29:22] - Why unstructured time is essential.
 [30:27] - Struggles with attention and learning to do one thing at a time.
 [31:06] - Rediscovering the joy and nourishment of reading.
 [32:24] - Final reflections + practical takeaways.

Resources:

Midlife Master Class Waitlist: insightsfromthecouch.org

Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion Work: self-compassion.org

Make sure to visit the “Resources” page on our website www.insightsfromthecouch.org to download the worksheet and take ways that accompany each episode. This is hugely important as we are now creating a download that is unique to each episode and working hard to create an email list to support our programming offerings moving forward. 

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

In this episode, we're taking a closer look at the science (and soul) of happiness—not that shiny, fake, “good vibes only” stuff, but the real-deal, research-backed version. After attending a powerful talk by Harvard professor and happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks, we came back buzzing with insights, and we couldn’t wait to break it all down for you.

We’re exploring what happiness actually means—spoiler: it’s not just about smiling all the time—and how much of it is actually within our control. From the surprising role of genetics to the transformational power of habits, transcendence, relationships, and creative work, we’re sharing key takeaways and offering practical, therapist-approved strategies to help you create a more meaningful, joyful, and resilient life.

Episode Highlights:

[0:47] - Our field trip to see Arthur C. Brooks live and why he's the happiness guy.
[1:37] - The surprising science: 50% of happiness is genetic—wait, what?!
[4:44] - Redefining happiness: Enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.
[6:11] - The real meaning of pleasure (hint: not just wine and cheese nights).
[9:10] - What satisfaction really means and why feeling effective is everything.
[11:12] - Meaning-making as a mental health superpower.
[13:06] - Resilience and post-traumatic growth: Turning lemons into lemonade.
[16:46] - Grappling with life’s big questions: “Why are you here?” and “What would you die for?”
[19:20] - Transcendence: Spirituality beyond religion and finding awe in everyday moments.
[22:27] - Flow state magic: What gets us into it (spoiler: puzzles and cleaning included!).
[27:51] - The #1 predictor of happiness: Relationships and why they matter so much.
[30:17] - The power of community and intentional connection.
[31:25] - Finding purpose in your work—however you define it.
[33:41] - The art of the “active dabble” and why it’s okay to not know what lights you up (yet).
[35:49] - Wrapping with wisdom: Radical responsibility and the risks of autonomy.

Resources:

• Arthur C. Brooks
• Download the “Risks of Autonomy” worksheet and other episode resources at insightsfromthecouch.org

Make sure to visit the “Resources” page on our website www.insightsfromthecouch.org to download the worksheet and take ways that accompany each episode. This is hugely important as we are now creating a download that is unique to each episode and working hard to create an email list to support our programming offerings moving forward.

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

How do we create deep, secure, and lasting relationships—not just in romance, but in parenting, friendships, and even with ourselves? In this episode, we sit down with Tara Boothby, psychologist, author of Love and Love’s Energy, and expert in attachment science. She takes us on a journey into the heart of connection, breaking down the complexities of attachment styles, emotional safety, and the power of co-regulation.

We explore the difference between being loved and lovable, how attachment wounds impact our relationships, and why true security is something we earn over time. Plus, Tara shares her own evolution from skepticism about attachment theory to fully embracing what she calls “love science.” 

Tara Boothby, Registered Psychologist, and Author of "Love and Love's Energy: How Attachment Science Proves That Love Nurtures Our Biological Nature, Impacts Our Positive View of Ourselves, of Others, and of God, and Teaches Us All How to Love."

Episode Highlights:

[00:03] - Welcome! Introducing Tara Boothby & the power of attachment science.
[02:23] - How Tara went from doubting attachment theory to embracing “love science”.
[04:26] - The truth about attachment styles: It’s not as simple as you think.
[06:36] - What it really means to be securely attached (hint: it’s a process, not a label).
[09:20] - The hidden fears behind our relationship struggles.
[14:02] - Co-regulation vs. self-regulation: Why we heal faster in relationships.
[19:25] - The importance of repair in relationships & why small moments matter most.
[32:02] - “Earning” security: Can we heal from past attachment wounds?
[40:26] - Knowing when to press pause (or end) on unhealthy relationships.
[50:11] - Loving yourself: The foundation of all secure relationships.

Resources:

• "Love and Love’s Energy" can be found on Amazon worldwide, Kindle, and Barnes and Noble.
• Instagram:
  • Tara Boothby: https://www.instagram.com/tara_boothby/profilecard/?igsh=anpwbGs1eXMwaHVl 
  • Sojourn Psychology: https://www.instagram.com/sojournpsychology/profilecard/?igsh=MTZ5azlsYjJjZG9sbg%3D%3D               
• Website: https://sojo.ca/ 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SojournPsychology 
• 🔥Get Clear on What You Want in Your Sex Life: Free Download! 

For more on this topic visit our website insightsfromthecouch.org If you have questions please email us at [email protected] we would love to hear from you!

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts

Hey friends! We cannot believe we’re saying this—but it's officially been ONE YEAR since we launched Insights from the Couch! Not only are we celebrating our podcast anniversary, but this is also our 50th episode, and we're taking a moment to reflect on the wild, messy, beautiful journey that brought us here. Spoiler alert: we had no idea what we were doing when we started, but we’re proof that big things can happen when you leap before you feel "ready."

In this episode, we open up about the highs, the facepalms, and everything in between—from our tech-challenged beginnings to what we’ve learned about confidence, commitment, distress tolerance, and doing the damn thing scared. Whether you're dreaming of launching your own podcast, writing a book, or finally going after that idea you've been sitting on, we promise this episode will light a fire under you. And yes, we get vulnerable about our own fears and insecurities—because that’s just how we roll.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Celebrating our one-year podcast anniversary and our 50th episode.
[1:28] - The unexpected start and original podcast name that didn’t make the cut.
[3:06] - Why we felt called to fill a gap for midlife women’s voices.
[4:39] - Our “just go for it” launch story—no formal course, all in on action.
[6:07] - Why starting before you’re ready is the key to unlocking clarity.
[7:50] - A powerful discussion on perfectionism and how it holds women back.
[9:35] - The underrated magic of willingness and how it drives everything.
[13:55] - Colette’s wild Cornell summer and learning through discomfort.
[16:00] - What distress tolerance really looks like in everyday life.
[18:44] - Building confidence through action, not waiting to “feel ready”.
[24:43] - Laura’s real talk on growing your work capacity and attention.
[26:58] - Colette’s TEDx talk moment and learning to survive embarrassment.
[31:48] - Riding the cringe: how to show up, even when it’s uncomfortable.
[33:07] - Behind the scenes of our partnership and working styles.
[34:35] - Announcing our new Midlife Master Class group (coming soon!).
[36:45] - The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying and why we’re not waiting anymore.
[38:00] - A call for listener questions—let us know how we can support YOU.

Resources:

• Visit our website: https://www.insightsfromthecouch.org
• Submit your questions or topics for future episodes: [email protected]

We’re beyond grateful to each of you who has listened, shared, or supported Insights from the Couch over this past year. You’ve helped us build something truly special, and we can’t wait to grow even more together. If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, share, and review—it means the world to us.

See you next week!

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Recognized by FeedSpot:
Top 60 Couples Therapy Podcasts | Top 100 U.S. Mental Health Podcasts | Top 100 Relaxation Podcasts