Dr Mohamed Alansari speaks with Kathryn Ryan about how devices have changed the way children relate to each other at school. He says while technology is expanding children's horizons in the classroom, it has changed the dynamics of human connection, learning and teaching. A research fellow at the University of Auckland's Faculty of Education and Social Work, with a doctoral degree in educational psychology, Dr Mohamed Alansari's teaching and research focuses on classroom practices and relationships, and how they impact on how well children at primary and tertiary level socialise and learn. He's also involved in the I Have a Dream project, which looks at the impact of significant others on kids' lives. Dr Alansari is speaking at a free Raising the Bar event in Auckland next Tuesday.

Dr Mohamed Alansari speaks with Kathryn Ryan about how devices have changed the way children relate to each other at school. He says while technology is expanding children's horizons in the classroom, it has changed the dynamics of human connection, learning and teaching. A research fellow at the University of Auckland's Faculty of Education and Social Work, with a doctoral degree in educational psychology, Dr Mohamed Alansari's teaching and research focuses on classroom practices and relationships, and how they impact on how well children at primary and tertiary level socialise and learn. He's also involved in the I Have a Dream project, which looks at the impact of significant others on kids' lives. Dr Alansari is speaking at a free Raising the Bar event in Auckland next Tuesday.

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John Marsden, Australian educator, principal and acclaimed author of more than 40 books for teenagers and children, talks about his new book The Art of Growing Up.

A pandemic of "toxic parenting", where overprotective parents hover over their offspring, has been leading to unprecedented anxiety among young adults, an Australian educator says.

John Marsden, who is a principal and acclaimed author of more than 40 books for teenagers and children, calls his latest book, The Art of Growing Up, a parenting manifesto drawing on his decades of working with and writing for young people.

"There's a major shift in the last 10 to 20 years, it's happened very quickly. And one of the manifestations of that is the growth in anxiety among children and teenagers, and they often take the form of panic attacks, which are really quite disabling and become a serious concern for educators," Marsden told Kathryn Ryan.

Listen to the full interview with John Marsden

"We are well aware that these teenagers are just a few years away from leaving school and entering the adult world, and we worry about the likelihood of them succeeding in that world."

Toxic parenting, including parents who adopt a "helicopter" and "curler" approach to raising their child, is when the child is limited in their "landscape" of experiences and leads to them acting out, misbehaving or not learning coping mechanisms, Marsden says.

"And it's not surprising that they're not gaining much or learning much because there's not a lot of experiences available to them from that narrow range of landscape.

"The idea of a child, might cop a bruise, or a graze, or a scratch, seems to be so abhorrent to many parents now that they will do anything to protect the child from that.

"But in protecting them from physical damage, then they risk causing all kinds of other damage that the child's emotional intelligence, for example, doesn't develop, their social awareness doesn't develop, their ability to look after themselves, the development of inner strength and confidence and resilience and initiative."

However, as the founder and principal of two schools in Victoria, Marsden says his schools do the opposite. For example, they allow children to explore nature, and ride on bikes and skateboards.

And while children might get a bruise or scratch, and occasionally some minor broken bones, Marsden says it's not the end of the world when it does happen…

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More young people than ever before are accessing pornography, and with more frequency, according to research by the Office of Film and Literature Classification.

More young people than ever before are accessing pornography, and with more frequency, according to research by the Office of Film and Literature Classification.

A survey of 14 to 17 year olds last year found 75% of boys and 58% of girls under 17 have seen porn, and a quarter of them had done so at 12 or younger.

The Light Project is a charitable trust set up by a small team of sexual and public health experts to help youth, families, schools and wider communities to positively navigate the new porn landscape.

Research and training lead for The Light Project, Jo Robertson, talks to Kathryn about the impacts and how parents can talk to teens about the new porn landscape.

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Kathryn talks with Auckland writer and body positivity campaigner and educator Angela Barnett who says the number of teens manipulating their own images using smartphone apps is on the rise. The apps photos to be tweaked to achieve blemish free skin and model-like features. Angela is the founder of the website FABIK, and of the Pretty Smart talks which she delivers in schools to 11 to 15 year olds.

Kathryn talks with Auckland writer and body positivity campaigner and educator Angela Barnett who says the number of teens manipulating their own images using smartphone apps is on the rise.

The apps photos to be tweaked to achieve blemish free skin and model-like features.

Angela is the founder of the website FABIK, and of the Pretty Smart talks which she delivers in schools to 11 to 15 year olds.

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Education consultant and parenting coach Joseph Driessen says it's understandable when parents give in to anger, frustration and even depression when dealing with difficult children. But he says over reacting, or responding by being either authoritarian or overly permissive are not the way forward. He shares his toolkit for breaking the cycle, and starting afresh in a new way.

Education consultant and parenting coach Joseph Driessen says it's understandable when parents give in to anger, frustration and even depression when dealing with difficult children.

But he says over-reacting or responding by being either authoritarian or overly permissive is not the way forward.

He shares his toolkit for breaking the cycle, which he calls "five steps of healing a child's sort of malfunctioning behavior", with Kathryn Ryan.

Listen to the full interview with Joseph Driessen

To get out of a destructive, reinforcing cycle, Driessen suggests taking a much more deliberative approach to parenting a child with behavior difficulties.

"I'm proposing that to get out of these cycles the parent becomes much more deliberate and actually starts to realise, OK things are not going so well so what can I do?"

The first step is to reflect, he says.

"Take time out from the situation and reflect by yourself, or ideally with another adult - your partner, your wife or husband, or your friend or anybody, not taking advice, just being allowed to talk about it."

Research shows that parents who have outside support are in a much better position to take charge of their relationship with their child, Driessen says.

A parent might reflect that they need help, that they need to upskill, he says.

"The research shows that, for example, parents who go to a positive parenting course make a major shift in their parenting insights."

Next, he says, is to be objective and be on the child's side.

"Now that sounds really weird, you know the child is 'really naughty and difficult' but actually most research shows that a child is difficult because they can't help it.

"The cognitive or emotional demands on them are outside of their capacity to cope and actually their misbehavior is basically a cry for help."

Having decided to help, he says, it's important parents don't blame themselves.

"Make a resolution to yourself that you are part of the problem, that your responses have not been quite good enough, that it's not your fault, but you've got to recognize, well let's not continue like this, let's make a change.

"Once you've made that decision then you go - so what am I going to do?"…

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Helping children to reduce their screentime can be as simple as remembering what you did as a child - encouraging outdoor play. In the US, there is a growing demand for screen-free parenting coaches. Parents are hiring professionals to help come into their homes to help them wean their children from spending excessive time online staring at the screen of their tablets, phones and other devices. Here, the Ministry of Health guidelines for screen time usage is less than one hour each day for children aged 2 to 5 years. To examine some strategies for helping cut down on screentime, Gloria DeGaetano is a private coach working in the Seattle area helping families to deal with the issue.

Helping children to reduce their screentime can be as simple as remembering what you did as a child - encouraging outdoor play.

In the US, there is a growing demand for screen-free parenting coaches to help come into homes to help parents wean their children from spending excessive time online staring at the screen of their tablets, phones and other devices.

Here, the Ministry of Health guidelines for screen time usage is less than one hour each day for children aged 2 to 5 years.

To examine some strategies for helping cut down on screentime, Gloria DeGaetano is a private coach working in the Seattle area helping families to deal with the issue.

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

The past nine months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and change for Ashburton parents, Jo and Deane Taylor. Last year their 13 year old son Tom, was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin lymphoma. In our parenting slot this morning we are focusing on the realities and practicalities of looking after a sick child, the effect it has on family dynamics, and the sorts of things that can make a tough and worrying situation a little easier to bear.

The past nine months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and change for Ashburton parents, Jo and Deane Taylor.

Last year their 13 year old son Tom, was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin lymphoma.

They talk to Lynn about the realities and practicalities of looking after a sick child, the effect it has on family dynamics, and the sorts of things that can make a tough and worrying situation a little easier to bear.

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Ivana Mlinac speaks with Kathryn Ryan about helping children overcome stigma and separation anxiety when their parent is in prison. Ivana's research into parental incarceration inspired to her write children's book Stardust - we always share the same sky. It's a magical book encouraging children to explore their feelings about missing their mum or dad. In New Zealand 23,000 children have parents in prison, and are often living with financial hardship and bullying in addition to separation anxiety. Ivana describes these children as having been handed a "secondary sentence". Ivana has an MA in Criminology, and is a Research Programme Coordinator at the University of Auckland.

Ivana Mlinac speaks with Kathryn Ryan about helping children overcome stigma and separation anxiety when their parent is in prison. Ivana's research into parental incarceration inspired to her write children's book Stardust - we always share the same sky. It's a magical book encouraging children to explore their feelings about missing their mum or dad. In New Zealand 23,000 children have parents in prison, and are often living with financial hardship and bullying in addition to separation anxiety. Ivana describes these children as having been handed a "secondary sentence". Ivana has an MA in Criminology, and is a Research Programme Coordinator at the University of Auckland.

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Every parent knows the difficulties in trying to discipline their children and the feeling it's not working properly. Clinical therapist Anna Martin's new book Listen to me! Taking the conflict out of child discipline aims to provide parents with some effective strategies that put the listening and wellbeing of children before lecturing.

Every parent knows the difficulties of trying to discipline their children and the feeling it's not working properly.

Clinical therapist Anna Martin's new book Listen to me! Taking the conflict out of child discipline aims to provide parents with effective strategies that put listening and the wellbeing of children before lecturing.

She says parents often default to the more punitive discipline they experienced growing up, and in New Zealand in particular, that can lead to a range of disorders later in life.

Listen to the full interview

Parents are often unaware of how much they're influenced by other factors, not just what's happening in front of them.

"We're influenced by our own childhoods, our social-cultural pressures, how we're expected to parent, how we're feeling at the time. Are we stressed or distracted? And then we've also got the patterned behaviour that's been established between parent and child since their birth."

All of these things have an impact on how parents respond to a discipline situation and often mean their response is misguided, she says.

International research is in agreement that there four key things that parents need to incorporate into their parenting.

Following these four rules helps children absorb the lessons their parents are trying to impart, Martin says.

Remain calm

"When I interviewed children as part of my PhD thesis they said it's actually okay for mum and dad to tell me off, I expect them to do that because they're my parents, I just wish they would do it in a calm way. So it's not threatening for them."

Acknowledge the child's feelings

"They want to feel like they're seen and heard is very important to their development.

Listen to the child

"They want parents to listen to their perspective and that puts fear into parents because they think if they give the child too much of a voice, then they're going to lose control, but that's actually a fallacy."

Make the child part of the solution

"Children really need to be incorporated into the solution, how do we resolve this? So they then buy into that process," Martin says.

New Zealand parents tend towards a punitive approach, Martin says…

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There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your looks, but being confident about the things you can do is what will really make you feel positively towards yourself, says Turia Pitt. The Australian author and motivational speaker talks to Kathryn Ryan about the advice in her new book for teens Good Selfie.

There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your looks, but being confident about the things you can do is what will really make you feel positively towards yourself, says Turia Pitt.

The Australian author and motivational speaker talks to Kathryn Ryan about the advice in her new book for teens - Good Selfie.

'Focus on the one small step you can do today and congratulate yourself when the day is over'

Listen to Kathryn Ryan's 2013 conversation with Turia Pitt here.

Eight years ago, Turia suffered horrific burns after getting caught in a grass fire while competing in a 100-kilometre ultramarathon.

Following two years of intensive rehab and over 200 medical procedures, Turia has now raised over $1 million for the charity Interplast, completed two Ironman competitions, written two best-selling books and had a son Hakavai with her longtime partner Michael Hoskin.

Turia receives a lot of questions from people around the world, and based Good Selfie on her answers to the "deep" questions young people ask.

Kids and teens can be refreshingly candid and honest, she says.

"As adults, we have so many filters and so many things we think are not appropriate for us to say. We're always so worried about saying the wrong thing."

First, hope and gratitude

As a little girl, Turia threw once a tantrum because she was "really bad" at maths, screaming "I can't do it!"

Her mum - "the wisest woman in the world" - said, "No, Turia. You can't do it YET."

"Those three little letters on the end of the sentence reminded me that the situation wasn't permanent. That was a lesson I took with me into my recovery because when I couldn't do something I wouldn't beat myself up ... hope is such a powerful thing.

"Going from a superconfident athletic outgoing person with a really great career as a mining engineer to a month later being in a hospital bed, physically incapacitated, unable to even feed myself... I didn't feel like me at all because everything that was me - being confident and being strong and athletic - was taken away from me."

Learning to stand up again was the hardest part of her recovery, Turia says…

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