Have you ever gotten to the point in a relationship where you can’t stand things anymore? Maybe it’s a past relationship—or something you’re going through right now. No matter what you do or how much effort you put in, nothing changes, yet you hope your situation will improve or your partner will suddenly wake up. When you’re in an attached relationship you often have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is supposed to be, so eventually you decide you’re done. It’s an intellectual decision because you think the problem lies with your partner, yet you still have an emotional attachment. You’re done, but you’re not DONE.

When you end a relationship prematurely, you continue to suffer. You think ending it will solve everything and things will be different when you’re apart. The next relationship will be better… only it isn’t because you are still the same person. You find yourself in another unhappy relationship that you end up leaving because you never worked through your issues.

When you start taking responsibility for yourself and how you show up in a relationship, you can see it isn’t all about what your partner did “wrong” or why they were the “bad guy.” And when you acknowledge your feelings instead of avoiding them, you’re able to work through what’s going on inside so you can show up differently in your next relationship. If not, you’ll end up repeating old patterns.