How often do you change who you are for another person? My personal journey continues in this episode, helping to identify what is going on at a deeper level when we try to figure out someone else (what they need, want or might do) so we know who to be for them. Isn't it time to stop the energetic chase focused on them? It never ends well. I stopped focusing on who I date and what they’re doing or thinking (or NOT doing/thinking) because otherwise… who’s focused on ME? I did that in my past and learned that it just doesn’t work. Have you noticed that too? The tricky part is, we’ve created these patterns over the course of years, influencing our way of looking at things, which means you can’t just snap your fingers to change it. But connecting and refocusing on yourself is how you get there, and that’s what I’ve done. I have so much more control of my emotional behavior and happiness; there’s no longer a need to zero in on what I can’t control (i.e. the other person). I also realized that focusing on what I needed to live up to was a way of punishing myself for never being “enough.”

Do you know how fun it is to no longer be a people pleaser? To stop striving for what perfect looks like to someone else? It allows you the freedom to be yourself instead of fixated on what others think or feel, which you will never know anyway. If you want to stop living and dying by their every look, sound and action, listen in. You’ll learn why we do it and how to stop so you can thrive in a securely attached relationship… rather than ride the emotional roller coaster.