We have warped ideas of what happiness is; that it has to be hard work, and that it is something achieved outside of us. We think if we fail, we don’t deserve to be happy. And we must suffer for it. Where did all of THAT come from? Winning and losing, success and failure—it’s all subjective and it’s all external. If you don’t feel happy inside, where are you going to feel it?

For a long time I let everything become an impediment to my happiness. I stayed single for long periods of time, and even though I love my kids, part of me focused on them to the detriment of experiencing my own life emotionally, as an adult. So I had to look at what I allowed into my life, and that’s a good place to start. What do you say yes or no to? And is it working toward your happiness or creating challenges/problems that stand in the way? For me it was definitely the latter until I became aware of it and started making some changes.

We fight happiness all the time, and what results is a lack of fulfillment inside. Do you know that feeling? It’s awful. The truth is, you can’t have life the way you want it all the time. That’s not what happiness is. Happiness comes from allowing life to be how it is. It comes when we detach from outcomes and surrender to the ebbs and flows. Happiness doesn’t come from doing… it comes from being.