Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to make you question your reality, but when you’re insecurely attached, you may not trust your own reality to begin with. You look externally for validation because you believe other people know how you should feel more than yourself. If your partner says you’re horrible at budgeting, you may feel a deep sense of shame, even if you’ve always felt you did just fine in the budgeting department. After a string of negative comments, you question your budgeting skills and wonder if he/she is right. You also wonder if you’re being gaslighted.

Everyone has their own point of view, however, so who’s to say their version of reality is more accurate than yours? When you question your own choices, you can become anxious and wonder if there is something wrong with you. To trust yourself you have to connect on a deeper level and stop guessing what other people think is right. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and dispelling the belief that others know how you feel or what’s best for you. What you feel is real, regardless of what others think. You are the only one who truly knows yourself.